Truth Magazine

By Gene Tharp

As we consider the question of whether a man who is successful in business necessarily makes a good elder, we first need to consider the questions: what makes a successful businessman? What makes a good elder? Can the two be reconciled? Foremost in our minds, however, should be the questions: what does God want?

While we consider the elements that determine whether or not a man is a success in business, bear in mind that there is a difference in the definition of success as determined by the world and success as defined by the word of God. When people consider a businessman as successful, I believe that they see a man who has acquired knowledge and expertise in his field. He has also accumulated some wealth through his business and is recognized as having achieved these things by others. He usually is active in social clubs and community activities. He has met the standards of being successful by the society in which he lives. Someone who merely makes enough to get by is not considered to be successful. In recent months we have read in the news about men who have made their livelihood by dealing in stocks, bonds and securities. These men made fortunes in their work and were considered very successful in their field. but when all of the facts were revealed, these men had used their knowledge and ability in an illegal way. Were these men successful? Most people would consider them to be successful.

While men like these are the exception rather than the rule, those who do desire to be successful have to dedicate their lives to their business. Many hours a day are put into their business so that they can got ahead in life. The things they possess reflect if they are a success. Expensive homes in good neighborhoods, expensive cars, fancy clothes, living in elite society are indications of being a successful businessman. Consider Psalms 49:18, “Though while he lived he blessed his soul; and men will praise thee, when thou doest well to thyself.”

The World’s Concept Of Success

As we have considered the world’s definition of success, now consider what God has to say about those who desire to be successful or rich. While God never condemns someone because he is rich, he does condemn the attitude of obtaining or using riches for one’s self. Look at the parable of the rich man in Luke 12:16-21. He was a successful farmer whose ground was very fruitful. He had such a bountiful crop that his barns would not hold his increase. His attitude was not to help others with his goods, but rather to lay aside all for himself. God’s answer to him was that his soul would be required of him that night, then whose would be those things that he had provided? In verse 21, Christ said, “So is he who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich towards God.” Also the rich young ruler trusted in his riches (Matt. 19:16-30; Mk. 10:17-22). When Jesus told him to sell all that he had and give it to the poor and follow Jesus, he went away grieved because he had great possessions and would have to lose all of them. Jesus observed this and said to his disciples that it was hard for those who trusted in riches to enter the kingdom of God (Mk. 10:23-24). Paul said that those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare and into many foolish and harmful lusts. He said that some have strayed from the faith in their greed and pierced themselves through with many sorrows (1 Tim. 6:9-10). Men whose goal in life is to obtain wealth and fame spend most of their time and energy in reaching their goal, using whatever means are available, even if these means are not legal, ethical or moral. Paul’s admonition to those who are rich is not to be haughty or to trust in uncertain riches, but rather to trust in God and to do good, to be rich in good works, ready to give, and willing to share (1 Tim. 6:17-19).

God’s View of Success

Turning now from what is the worldly view of success and looking in the Scriptures we can see that God’s view of success is quite different. While we often look at a person and judge him on his appearance, God does not do so. For example, when Samuel went to Bethlehem to anoint the one whom God had selected to be king, Eliab, one of Jesse’s sons, came before him. Samuel said that surely the Lord’s anointed was before him. God then said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or at the height of his stature because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Sam. 16:1-13). Although we cannot look into a person’s heart and see what he thinks, his words and deeds indicate what is in his heart (Matt. 15:18-20; Mk. 7:2023). Jesus said that we will know men by their fruits (Matt. 7:16-20). The things that men say and do indicate the objects upon which they place their trust.

Spiritually-Minded Men

God’s will is for men to be spiritually-minded, not trusting in material possessions. When Jesus came preaching and teaching about the kingdom of God, he emphasized the change from the physical law of Moses to the spiritual law of Christ. The Sermon on the Mount indicates this. Read through Matthew 5-7 and see the attitude change that Christ was seeking. The change from “Thou shalt not” (Ex. 20) to “Let this mind be in you” (Phil. 2:5) is indicated throughout the whole sermon. The Hebrew letter, chapters 7-10, emphasizes the change from the old physical law to the new spiritual law of Christ. Chapter 9:6-15 compares the Levitical High Priest with Christ the spiritual High Priest. All the letters of the New Testament emphasize the qualities of being spiritually-minded. As we look through the book of Acts and see the maturing of the church, we can see the emphasis on being spiritually-minded. In Acts 6:1-7, the quality of being spiritually-minded was stressed in the selection of the seven men to take care of the widows. They were to be of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom. After Paul and Barnabas went through Asia preaching, they returned to Lystra, Iconium and Antioch and strengthened the souls of the disciples as they exhorted them to continue in the faith (Acts 14:21-22). Paul stressed spirituality, the need to trust in God and to remain faithful through tribulation. The Colossians were urged to seek the things above and to set their mind on things above and not on the things of the earth (Col. 3:1-2). Their hope and trust was to be on things eternal and not on the possessions of material things. Peter cited the need for spirituality when he wrote, “. . . rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ, as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct because it written, be holy for I am holy” (1 Pet. 1:13-16). A good description of being spiritually-minded is in Romans 8:4-5: “that the righteous requirements of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their mind on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.”

Simply put, these Scriptures say that the one who is spiritually-minded lives his life according to the laws of God, trying always to please him. Those who are worldly-minded try to please themselves. We observe these things by people’s actions. Numerous Scriptures state that we are to be heaven-oriented and not to be worldly-minded. A person who has as his goal obtaining heaven and eternal life, not only lives his life for God, but tries to help others to do the same. That is why God wants men who have demonstrated this spiritual-mindedness for elders. The qualifications for an elder are mostly spiritual and not worldly qualities. Even the requirement of being married and having children stresses the aspect of spiritual qualities, i.e., ruling his own house well and having his children in submission with all reverence. The overseers of the congregation cannot afford to be anything less than spiritually-minded because of the example that they set, not only to the congregation, but to the world as well.

The necessity for elders to be spiritually-minded is paramount as they feed the congregation (1 Pet. 5:2) by arranging Bible classes and class material, teaching, encouraging, admonishing those who are contrary to God’s word. Much prayer, thought and discussion about the spiritual needs of the members is given. People observe the actions of elders and can tell whether or not an elder is of a spiritual nature. How can an elder instruct someone to be more faithful in service to God if the elder’s priorities are on material things? Encouraging a weak brother or sister, a new convert, an elderly Christian, a young mother, etc. to be more faithful requires one who is without doubt a faithful Christian. A pleasant and rewarding aspect of being an elder is to see a member grow in faith and knowledge and see the application of his growth in his prayers, teaching Bible classes, preaching, etc. This encourages an elder as he sees this Christian trying to please God in all that he does. As we observe the work of the elders, we recognize that a good elder is a man who is spirituallyminded, seeking to please God in all that he does.

As the elders oversee the congregation, their leadership will determine how effective the church is in the task of evangelism and teaching. Great care, therefore, needs to be taken when elders are appointed by a congregation. The need to appoint only godly, spiritually-minded men who meet those qualifications as set forth by the word of God is inescapable. The question of why they seek to be elders needs to be handled before they are appointed, rather than afterwards. Do they want to be elders so that they can be in charge of church affairs? Do they seek the office for prestige? Or is it for other reasons such as increasing the size of the building or a larger bank account? Do they really care about people’s souls and want to help them as Christians? The past conduct of those being considered for elders should be closely examined. The things on which they placed priorities will indicate whether they are more worldly minded than spiritually-minded. If the church is to remain steadfast in the faith and in efforts to spread the gospel of Christ, then only spiritually qualified men should be appointed elders.

An Elder’s Occupation

Problems can arise in a congregation because of an elder’s occupation. When an elder has a successful business, his business expertise plays a role in his oversight of the congregation. Practices and ideas that are sound in business are used to decide spiritual practices. A large bank account is accumulated for a rainy day or an emergency. Demand is placed on physical results such as more contribution, adding to the building in order to make it comparable to buildings of denominations in the community. Numerical growth is stressed more than spiritual growth. Less thought is given to the spiritual growth of the members and more to the physical aspect. As more thought is given to pleasing the outward man, the church becomes weaker and less of a positive influence for Christ in the community.

Other difficulties may arise when an elder’s business affairs demand a large. part of his time. The time available for his family may cause dissension in his family. Decisions affecting the local congregation may be put off because he is not available to help make them. His ability to meet with members for teaching, encouraging or admonishing them depends upon the opportunity to get away from his business. Also his standing in the community could affect the elders in leading the church in withdrawing from the disorderly. You may think of other problems involving a successful businessman as an elder. You also may not see these as problems.

A business experience can be helpful in dealing with the decisions of the church, such as using his expertise in business to make financial decisions. Sound business decisions need to be made when the congregation needs to expand the building in order to accommodate growth of the congregation. Sound financial plans need to be made, considering the spiritual rewards from the decisions. A businessman’s knowledge in such a case can be a plus for the congregation.

However you may feel about the situation of a successful businessman being an elder, remember that God has set the standards for an elder and we have, no right to ignore or change any of them. An elder has to hold fast the faithful word so that he can teach and exhort by sound doctrine those who are teaching things contrary to sound doctrine (Tit. 1:9-11). The need for elders to be sound in the faith in teaching and admonishing, and in guiding the flock cannot be taken too lightly.

Conclusion

In conclusion, God’s requirements for being successful is not how much a person has accumulated in material possessions or fame (Luke 12: 15). A truly successful person is one who has placed his priorities properly, that is, loving God and being desirous of serving him with all his heart, soul and mind (Matt. 22:37-38). God does not recognize a man for this wealth. His recognition of man is based on man being spiritually minded. When elders oversee the congregation, how well they perform in the office depends upon the spiritual qualities of each and not on how successful they are in business.

You may agree with all you have read so far, but applying these thoughts to yourself may be difficult. If a man in your congregation who lived in a poor neighborhood was being considered for an elder, would you want him selected as an elder over you? Would you agree to an highly successful businessman who is spiritually-minded being chosen as an elder over you?

Guardian of Truth XXXIII: 1, pp. 6-8
January 5, 1989

By Rufus Clifford, Jr.

Why do churches fail to grow? I’ll tell you why: they do not have functioning overseers. Active, vibrant leaders are essential in government, business, and in the church. A governor who does not function will be ineffective and cause the state much harm. A corporate president who does not perform will lead his business into bankruptcy. An elder who views his office as an “honorary position” and does not function is displeasing to God, and will stymie the growth and spiritual development of the Lord’s church. A nice building in a good location, a good teaching and personal work program are certainly necessary for growth, but the real secret for the success of a congregation is functioning overseers. No congregation will be any stronger or more active than its leaders.

Being appointed an elder is truly an honor. Paul says in 1 Timothy 5:17: “Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially they who labor in the word and doctrine. ” Even though this is probably referring to monetary compensation, we see that being an elder is an honor, but not an “honorary position.” The one to receive honor is the elder who labors, implying action and function. To be an elder, a man must first “rule well his own house” (I Tim. 3:4). Having raised three children, I can testify that this involves lots of action and is not an “honorary position.” I Timothy 3:1 says, “If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. ” Notice that Paul describes the office as a working office, and not simply one of honor. Many today think of the eldership as a decision making board, served on by older men in the church as a position of honor. Having served as an elder for several years, I can testify that there are many tough decisions to be made, but also much work to be done. I’m afraid many don’t understand what it means to be a functioning overseer.

The function of elders and the character of their work is best described by the term bishop or overseer. Paul told the elders from Ephesus, “Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood” (Acts 20:28). To oversee is to watch over and manage; supervise, superintend. This is further emphasized by the word watchman as used in Ezekiel 33:7, “So thou, O son of man, I have set thee a watchman unto the house of Israel; therefore thou shalt hear the word at my mouth, and warn them from me. ” Ezekiel was given the responsibility of a watchman over the house of Israel, to warn them for God. Thus, bishops are to supervise and watch over all the affairs of the church. They are to have vision enough to set goals for the congregation, make plans whereby these goals can be reached, and work with enough determination to see that they are reached. All too often, this is neglected, leaving the church with no direction and no program of work. Bishops are to oversee the work, worship, mission, and discipline of the church. They should not become so wrapped up in small things like replacing light bulbs, cleaning the building, and making duty rosters that they use up all their time, neglecting spiritual matters. The example of Acts 6 points out that work should be delegated to the deacons to be carried out under the oversight of the bishops.

As a physician, I am in charge of the care of my patients, however, I do not take every temperature, blood pressure, and pulse, or give every shot. These tasks are delegated and performed under my supervision. Just so it should be with bishops leaving them time to work with people. Building maintenance, benevolence, classes, check writing can be taken care of by deacons with the bishops meeting repeatedly with them to make decisions about what is to be done, especially what is to be taught in the classes and who the teachers are to be. It is also important for the bishop to consult with the evangelist about what topics need to be preached from the pulpit. When and where the congregation will meet for worship, who leads the singing, and who preaches must be decided by the overseers. With these things in mind, it is difficult to see how anyone could picture the office of an overseer as a non-functioning “honorary position.”

Peter exhorts the elders in 1 Peter 5:1-2 to “shepherd the flock of God which is among you. ” As we examine the work involved with being a shepherd, it will be apparent that this involves more than an “honorary position.” Jesus gives us a good idea of what a shepherd does for his flock in John 10:1-15. He points out that the shepherd knew his flock, he calls them by name, they know his voice, he is willing to lay down his life for them, he protects them from wolves, and they trust and follow him. What a beautiful description of how elders are to know each and every member of the congregation, keeping them from straying, protecting them from false teachers and doctrines, and making sure they are fed the proper spiritual food. They must watch after the souls of every member, realizing that they will have to give account to God for them (Heb. 13:17). This is a mind boggling responsibility that causes many shepherds to lose sleep. It helps to keep role at services which indicates those who need special attention. Visiting in the home of every family in the congregation will allow the shepherd to better know the members and gain insight concerning their spiritual needs. Shepherds are to be “examples to the flock” (1 Pet. 5:3) in every aspect of life; as husbands, fathers, businessmen, teachers, workers in the church, etc. The cause of Christ suffers today because shepherds fail to do these. things. In Ezekiel 34: 1-10, the Lord told Ezekiel to prophesy against the shepherds that feed themselves and not the flock, who fail to strengthen the sickly, heal the diseased, bind up the broken, bring back the scattered and search for the lost. Certainly, those shepherds who fail to function, who sit back and do nothing, believing their office is an “honorary position” fall into this category and stand condemned in the eyes of God.

Conclusion

Overseers are instructed by Paul in Acts 20:28 to “take heed unto yourselves. ” Self-examination is required of all Christians, but especially of elders. They need to ask themselves such questions as, “Why did I accept this appointment?” Was it for glory, honor, personal ambition, to boost my ego? Is my life above reproach? Am I setting the proper example? Am I a functioning overseer or just a figurehead who holds the office as an “honorary position”? Let us all pray that elders see and understand their duties and function in such a manner that the church will prosper and glorify God.

Guardian of Truth XXXIII: 1, pp. 5, 15
January 5, 1989

By George Lemasters

Ever since the church was established, it has had to deal with those who advocated ideas that were contrary to the truth. Jesus warned about false prophets, who, having the character of ravening wolves, would present themselves in sheep’s clothing (Matt. 7:15-20). Their absolute identity would be demonstrated by the fruit they bore. In this he was saying that the vigilant disciple could know them for exactly what they were; and, knowing this, act accordingly.

The subject that has been assigned to me, therefore, is not new. It has to do with the role of elders in stopping the mouths of those who would introduce false teaching. It is an essential qualification of the elder that he be “apt to teach” truth and to “exhort in the sound doctrine,” but that he also be able to “convict the gainsayer.” In Titus this is followed by the explanation that “there are many unruly men, vain talkers and deceivers . . . whose mouths must be stopped.” Further, the seriousness of the matter is seen in Paul’s language when he enjoined upon Timothy the constant preaching of the word. He reasoned that “the time will come when they will not endure the sound doctrine; but having itching ears, will heap to themselves teachers after their own lusts; and will turn away their ears from the truth and turn aside unto fables.” Brethren with this attitude are a fertile soil in which the false teacher can sow the seeds of his error. It is impossible to over estimate the subversive and soul damning effect that he can have, not only on those whose ears itched for something other than truth, but more so on those who would be the innocent and unsuspecting. How sobering, then, is the charge to the elders to shepherd the flock and to keep out such false teaching.

Before coming to deal with how to keep it out, it would seem prudent to learn something about the false teachers and how they and their error can infiltrate churches. Paul warned the Ephesian elders that “after his departure grievous wolves shall enter in among you not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves shall men arise speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them” (Acts 20:29-30). Moreover, Jude’s exhortation for brethren to contend for the faith was prompted by the fact that “certain men crept in privily.” Paul, likewise, speaking of the Judaizers defined them as “false brethren privily, brought in, who came in privily to spy out our liberty which we have’ in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage” (Gal. 2:4).

From this, let elders and others as well learn two things. First, that not all false teaching comes from without. All too frequently it comes from within the church. And, what is even more dangerous, it comes from those whom we would most likely expect to cleave to the truth rather than pervert it. (Learn well that no man is immune to being led astray by the devil.) Second, take note that it comes in privily. The false teacher will never present himself at the door of the church, introduce himself and announce his intention to subvert and divide. Error does not play according to the rules of fairness. Rather, it is insidious, deceitful and treacherous; using whatever subversive and underhanded means that may be at its disposal.

By the time that this is in print I shall have passed my 59th year. Forty of those years I have spent as a disciple of the Lord and a member of his body. In that time I have not met one proponent of error who did not conduct himself to a greater or lesser degree in the fashion just described. Brethren, painful experience has taught me that error must be met in only one way: head on, and giving no quarter.

How To Keep Out False Teaching

We come now to the issues at hand: How do we keep it out. So far as I am personally concerned, the greatest deterrent to false teaching is for both the elders, and the churches under their charge, to be thoroughly saturated with the knowledge of the truth. And, make no mistake about it, we can know the truth. Of late, some among us, young and old alike, have been trying to persuade us that we can not possess all truth. To them, the truth is some hazy, nebulous, unfathomable entity to which we can never attain. They will contend that we can agree on the gospel (the good news about Jesus), baptism and the Lord’s supper. However, all else is so indefinitely spoken, and agreement therein of such little consequence that every man is free to his own interpretation. No line of fellowship can be drawn for the principles of truth on the matter are not clear. I say, not so!

In the first place, Jesus taught that we can know the truth (Jn. 8:32),and that those who were of the truth would hear him (Jn. 19:37). Paul argued conclusively, that through him, revelation w4s made and that when we read we can perceive his understanding in the mystery of Christ (Eph. 3:1-6). Now maybe.I missed something somewhere, but to me, these passages are arguing that those who are of the disposition of mind to want truth can know it. And, I maintain that a thorough knowledge of the genuine article (truth) is the best way to be able to discern the counterfeit of error and to keep it out.

This means keeping sound men in the pulpits of churches (2 Tim. 2:2), faithful men who will open their Bibles and expose the text of Scripture to their audiences. Like the prophet of old: To the law and to the testimony – Line upon line; percept upon precept. In this way disciples can be grounded to the point that error will have no appeal to them. It also means supervising those who participate in the Bible classes. Elders should be informed at all times of just what is being fed to the students by the various teachers. Furthermore, elders should not have to apologize if, in their considered judgment, the soundness of some preacher is questioned, and he be advised not to come. Nor should they be harassed by members if they find it necessary to remove some teacher for advocating some questionable concept. Brethren under their charge should rejoice in the fact that they are watching in behalf of their souls.

A second thing to be considered is the fact that whatever justifiable action that elders may take, must be done with firmness and conviction. Note that when Paul spoke of the Judaizers he said, “. – . to whom we gave place in the way of subjection, no not for an hour, that the truth of the gospel might continue with you.” In consideration of Peter’s error, he “resisted him to the face for he stood condemned.” A look at the second chapter of I John will reveal just how that apostle dealt with the false doctrine of the gnostics. First, he acknowledged that his brethren could and did know the truth (v. 21). He then pointed out that there were some who would lead them astray (v. 26). Then, of those false teachers he said, “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they all are not of us” (v. 19). He then identified them as antichrist and their teaching as a lie. Brethren, when dealing with error, do not be afraid to employ the level gaze and pointing finger as did Nathan (2 Sam. 12). It is better to expose them with a “thou art the man” than to expose the flock to their devilish ideas.

Finally, stay off the Plains of Ono. The enemies of Nehemiah ‘ sought to draw him away from his great work and into a positive dialogue and compromise (Neh. 6). Nehemiah knew that on the plains of Ono they would do him mischief. Let elders and all others learn that when error calls for dialogue: beware! I am aware that there may be times when interested parties may want to meet in an effort to arrive at truth. In my experience, this has been the exception and not the rule. By way of illustratiom. For the past five or six years the conservative Christian Church has been having their so-called Unity Forums. They have appealed to us to meet and see if there is not some means by which fellowship can be had with “their segment of the restoration movement” and “ours.” Please understand that they are not going to give up their innovations but, rather, would have us to extend fellowship and recognize their errors as simply matters of opinion. Their forums, therefore, become the modern plains of Ono. Their call for dialogue is in reality a call for compromise. So, when the call for dialogue comes, let us answer it with a firm and unwavering and uncompromising defense of the truth. We may come out of the skirmish with a few scars and some dents in the armor, but we can have confidence in the fact that God is pleased, and that error has been put in its place. Let us all learn that the man who thinks that error can be met and handled with an irenic spirit has taken the first step toward hisfinal and qomplete surrender to it. “Wherefore, take up the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand in the evil day, and having done all, to siand” (Eph. 6:13).

Guardian of Truth XXXIII: 1, pp. 8-9
January 5, 1989

By Larry Ray Hafley

A radio station in Chicago used to play soft, gentle music. Their motto was the title of this theme. It is good advice. “Gentleness” is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22). “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted” (Eph. 4:32). “Comfort the feebleminded (faint), support the weak, be patient toward all men” (1 Thess. 5:14). “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness (gentle tenderness), humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye” (Col. 3:12,13). We are to walk the way of life “with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:2,3).

The yoke of Christ is “easy,” or kind (Matt. 11:30). Paul spoke of “the meekness and gentleness of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:1), and we are to walk “even as he walked” (1 Jn. 2:6). Hence, let us “try a little tenderness.”

In The Home

Have you listened – really listened – to yourself as you talk to your mate and your children? It is easy to develop a snapping turtle response. Ever been around a frisky, feisty little dog that just wants to bark when you are around? Pressures, problems, “every day stress and strain,” can lead us to sharp, biting replies to our loved ones. It can become a habit. Everywhere, but especially in the home, “try a little tenderness.” If a soft answer turneth away wrath (Prov. 15:1), what does a harsh answer do?

The wonderful woman in Proverbs 31 possesses many valuable virtues, but none is greater than the fact that “in her tongue is the law of kindness” (v. 26). Gentle kindness fills her heart, adorns her countenance and flows from her tongue. It is the material with which man would create an angel if he could.

One’s tongue can become a razor, a sword, a club (Psa. 52:2; 57:4; Prov. 12:19). It can cut and hew and dismember a loved one. Some children and marriage companions have never been physically beaten, but they have suffered daily the harsh brutality of a demeaning, belittling tongue. The victims of a malicious mouth would gladly trade their broken hearts for black eyes and broken bones. At least broken bones will heal.

Family members are bonded in bliss by blessed words of affection, praise and thanks. Husbands and wives should speak works of appreciation and approval to one another.

Children need criticism and condemnation at times, but they also need sweet and loving words of commendation and encouraging exhortation. All of you, mother, father, children, listen to yourselves speak to one another. Is your conversation filled with negative, derogatory, cutting, complaining, whining words? Is your voice sharp, caustic, full of sarcasm and irritation? If so, you have our prayers, and your family has our sympathy.

Among Brethren

“Pleasant words,” the Bible says, “are sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Prov. 16:24, NASB). “The sweetness of the lips increaseth learning” (Prov. 16:21). In other words, one will listen to you more readily.

Would you gloat at a funeral? Certainly, you would not, but do we gloat and glory over a fallen brother? Do we appear to be glad when one is overtaken in a fault, or do we seek to “restore such an one in the spirit of meekness” (Gal. 6:1)? “Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth” (Prov. 24:17). You may feign sorrow over the fall of another, but the Lord God knows your heart (Heb. 4:13).

There is a time and place for sharp rebukes and verbal slaps in the face (Tit. 1:9-13; Gal. 2:11-14; 2 Cor. 13:10). It is not possible to wink at sin, smile at error and grin all the time (Mk. 3:5). Occasionally, whips must be fashioned and used, and seats and moneychanger’s tables must be overturned and their occupants cast out. It is not pleasant. Some object to it, except when they turn their oral guns on those who will do it. Then, they castigate the castigators and verbally thrash those who have the faith to do what must be done; namely, reprove, rebuke and exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. But enough on that.

The other side is that there is a large amount of time and a great deal of space for one to “try a little tenderness.” “And the Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition” (2 Tim. 2:24,25, NASB). “By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone” (Prov. 25:15). One’s kindness builds his influence, his ability to reach others (Prov. 19:22). With patient goodness, one can alter the adamant will of a prince. Soft, tender words will break a bone, i.e., the will melt the heart of stone. Sweet, kind words will open an arrogant mind so that it will be amenable to reflection and instruction.

Yes, deal with men and sin firmly, even sharply, when the situation warrants, but let us have grace and use it that our words may be seasoned with salt in order to answer every man properly and appropriately in the fear of God (Jude 22,23).

How many erring, wavering, I wandering, fearful, sinful souls are driven to despair and banished to ruin because no one could find a word of brotherly kindness with which to plead? Truly, “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21). Is my tongue an executioner’s sword, poised to behead any who become weary and faint, fail and fall? If so, may God help me to see it and remove my cursing and replace it with blessing. Or is my tongue a salve to wounds, bruises and putrefying sores, an ointment for the broken spirit, a balm for the wounded heart, a cleansing, soothing agent for the dirty hands of the defeated victims of sin?. If so, may God bless me to use wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time, restoring the fallen.

In this critical hour of pain and suffering, in this era of heartache caused by sin, it is time to show a little kindness, to exercise a little patience and to “try a little tenderness.”

Guardian of Truth XXXII: 24, pp. 748-749
December 15, 1988