Truth Magazine

By Harry R. Osborne

The book of Hebrews clearly shows the correlation between suffering and the learning of obedience. The writer declares that Christ was perfected as the author of salvation through sufferings (Heb. 2:10) and that he “learned obedience by the things which he suffered” (Heb. 5:9). The writer exhorts the readers to follow Jesus’ example in chapter 12. He urges them to be perfected in righteousness as they face growing affliction (Heb. 12:1-13).

While the experience of human suffering is universal, the lessons learned from it are not. Whether young or old, rich or poor, righteous or wicked, all of us experience suffering. The reaction we have to such experiences determines whether or not we learn obedience through the things suffered. The same episode may result in a determination furthering obedience or a discouragement furthering rejection of God’s will. The difference in reactions is not brought about by dissimilar events, but by dissimilar hearts.

The Bible is filled with the stories of suffering on the part of people of all ages. We would do well to emulate those who handled adversity properly. The example which stands out above all others is that upon which the Hebrew writer bases his appeal – Jesus.

The Example of Jesus

In the process of defending the necessity of Jesus’ coming in the flesh, the Hebrew writer argues the place of Jesus as the author of salvation ‘upon the basis of his completion of sufferings which secured that salvation (Heb. 2:9-18). In this suffering which culminated in Christ’s death, he was made like his brethren in all things (v. 17). He was tempted to give up and quit as any of us would be in the face of such terrible physical, mental and even spiritual suffering (v. 18). Through it all, however, he never let such a temptation become his determination.

Jesus speaks of this agony in his last public discourse recorded in the gospel of John. He says, “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say’? ‘Father, save me from this hour?’ But for this purpose I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name” (Jn. 12:27-28a, NKJV). In his incarnation, Jesus was “made in the likeness of men” and “found in fashion as a man” (Phil. 2:6-7). As a man, he did not desire all of the horrors associated with his death on the cross. However, obedience drove him to subject himself to the will of the Father. The essence of his statement is not “Father, save me from this hour,” but “Father, glorify your name.” His obedience was put to the ultimate test and perfectly met it. Therefore, he becomes our example as we are tempted to forsake the will of God in times of hardship, but persevere in obedience despite the consequences.

The Hebrew writer continues this thought in the fifth chapter. Here, he draws upon the image of Jesus at Gethsemane so vividly pictured in the Gospels (Matt. 26:36-44; Mk. 14:32-39; Lk. 22:39-46). All of the accounts paint a clear picture of Jesus suffering intense, mental agony over the events soon to transpire. In the midst of such suffering, he goes to the only source of real help, the Father, in prayer. Matthew’s account shows Jesus reaching the same resolution as he did on the previous occasion recorded in John 12. In the first prayer at Gethsemane, Jesus says, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass away from me: nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt” (Matt. 26:39). The emphasis of this first prayer is on his desire to be spared the execrable death on the cross. However, the determination to obey despite the results is seen in the account of the second prayer, “My Father, if this cannot pass away, except I drink it, thy will be done” (Matt. 26:42). Barmby expresses it this way:

His human will did not oppose itself to the Divine will: it conformed itself in the end entirely to it; but this according to the necessary conditions of humanity, through the power of prayer. Had it not been so with him, Ins participation in human nature would have been incomplete; he would not have been such as to be “touched with the feelings of our infirmities, being in all points tempted like as we are;” nor would he have stood forth forever as the great Example to mankind (Pulpit Com., Exposition of Heb. 5:7-8, p. 138).

The test of true obedience is not found in the execution of desirable tasks, but of dreaded tasks from which one longs for escape. Such a longing existed in Jesus regarding all that accompanied the preparation for and endurance of Calvary, but he submitted to every humiliating and excruciating moment in obedience. Indeed, the whole event demands the conclusion reached by the Hebrew writer, “Though he was a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered” (Heb. 5:8).

Other Examples

One of the most notable examples of obedience amidst suffering is found in Job. In Job 1:9-11, Satan asserts that Job only serves God because of the blessings given to Job. Satan claims Job would renounce God if those blessings ended. The book goes on to detail Job’s loss of material wealth, family, health, friends, and other blessings. Through it all, Job refuses to renounce God. James cites Job as an example of one who patiently endured suffering (Jas. 5: 10-11). Thus, the lesson should be learned that we can suffer the loss of all things, yet obey God, if we learn patience from that suffering.

The thorn in the flesh of the apostle Paul was a teacher of obedience in a sense. Lest he glory in himself as the one through whom God gave great revelations, the affliction served as a reminder that the greatness was in God who gave the revelation, not Paul who was merely a messenger (2 Cor. 12:7-10). Therefore, the suffering endured was a constant reminder of the greatness of God and his message in comparison to Paul’s frailty. When one truly reflects upon the majesty of God and his Word, obedience is induced.

The Hebrew writer exhorts the readers not to be “of them that shrink back unto perdition, but of them that have faith unto the saving of the soul” (Heb. 10:39). He then calls to their minds numerous examples of Old Testament characters who obeyed God as faith demands. Each one did so under some sort of trial or hardship. Not only did they learn obedience through the things they suffered, but we are taught by their examples as to the demands of an obedient faith.

The book of 2 Timothy is written as Paul experiences various forms of suffering. He suffered from the rejection of his friends and brethren (2 Tim. 1:15; 4:16). He suffered from the fact that false teachers were working with their malignant leaven (2 Tim. 2:16-18). He suffered from the impending apostasy he saw coming upon the cause of Christ (2 Tim. 3:1-9; 4:34). He suffered from evil done to him by others (2 Tim. 4:14). He also suffered from his imprisonment and imminent execution (2 Tim. 4:6). Throughout the book, he urges Timothy to do as he is doing – take hold of the sure things. He repeatedly appeals to the truth of the Gospel and urges uncompromising loyalty to it. The suffering Paul was experiencing brought more clearly into focus that which really mattered. Obedience was both learned and taught.

Application To Us

We must recognize the benefit which suffering can bring and learn obedience from it. God has declared that all who would live godly will suffer (2 Tim. 3:12). Peter notes that we should not see suffering as unusual, but as a fellowship with Christ’s suffering. He adds this is not true of suffering which comes from wrong-doing, but of suffering which stems from being a Christian (1 Pet. 4:12-16). What we learn from the suffering is up to us.

When we experience rejection because of a stand which is based upon the truth of God, will we compromise the truth or learn obedience? We often talk to teenagers about this pressure, but it works on all of us regardless of age. Business men have succumbed to joining in the use of alcohol and sordid entertainment to escape the ridicule and rejection of or’ their associates. I have seen preachers turn their back on the truth and one who was upholding it because of the pressure. No one is immune from Satan’s pull in this area.

I have often reflected on the faith of numerous older preachers who in the institutional division were told to cease preaching the truth. When they obeyed God rather than man, many were thrown out of homes and cut off without a dime to support their families. Most preachers in my age group have not had to suffer that trauma. It would be easy to rationalize our needs as being so great that “small” compromises would be justified. Or we could say that those who were being fired really were not making a different stand, but just had a “bad approach.” Such reasoning and justifying has provided the liberal churches with their “preachers.” We must watch out lest this history be repeated.

As situations in this life bring us sorrow and pain, let us look to the examples of those who endured suffering in faith ‘ The temptation is for us to become so discouraged that service to our Lord is forsaken. Such action would fail to learn the lesson of obedience. We must let the experience of suffering be an occasion to think about that which is solid and secure. Material goods, health, relationships, events and every other part of this life will cease one day and suffering will almost certainly result. Each time suffering comes, it provides a chance for us to learn obedience by the things which are suffered. We must press on unto perfection, laying up treasure in heaven wherein is no more death, mourning, crying or pain – where every tear shall be wiped from our eyes forever and all will be made new.

Guardian of Truth XXXII: 17, pp. 539-540
September 1, 1988

By Joel Plunkett

Three years ago I watched my lovely fourteen year-old daughter’s grades fall from A’s to D’s and her hands begin to tremble, causing her handwriting to deteriorate to scribbling. Her once healthy body began to shake to the point that she could not walk down a flight of stairs and eventually could not walk through her own home. After three months of taking her from doctor to doctor, she was diagnosed as having hypothyroidism. Medication was administered, but instead of getting better, her condition progressively worsened. She was hospitalized for nine days early in April of 1985 and nothing else could be discovered. She was released and on April 22, 1985, she suffered a grand-mal seizure which lasted fifteen hours. Only through the power of God, agonizing prayers, several family members working as a team, and the paramedics, did she get to the hospital alive. Several drugs were administered, but only by inducing a phenobarbital coma were the doctors able to control the seizure. She contracted pneumonia while on the respirator. We were never given any hope for her life. Prayers were uttered almost constantly in her behalf. Several brethren gathered at the Broadmoor church building, where I labor, and had a prayer service for her. Several of our friends from other congregations also came to this service. For the power of God and all of the prayers of brethren both public and private, we will be eternally grateful.

Jill spent forty-eight days in Vanderbilt Medical Center, fourteen of which were in the Intensive Care Unit. All kinds of testing were done on her, but it was never determined why she should have had a seizure of such magnitude. Although she had experienced some problems from this illness, she was recovered beyond anything the doctors could hope. We were told this week by an endocrinologist that Jill’s was the most unique case history she had ever read. At this time tests and evaluations are still being conducted on her and she continues to make progress. Jill has graduated from high school this year through Gods help, courage on her part and the help of several people. This trial has been very hard for her, but she has leaned heavily on the Lord for strength.

When brother Willis asked me first of all to preach a sermon and then to write an article, on what we had learned in applying God’s Word to our trial, I really didn’t want to do it. Stirring up the agony, tears, and frustration is something from which we human beings would like to run. The first lesson I have tried to learn is that our Lord was a man of sorrows (Isa. 53), and that is why he understands when we hurt (Heb. 4:15,16). If I am to be like him, my sorrows will lead me to understand when others hurt. I can have compassion because I really know how they feel. Therefore if preaching or writing about this can help someone to learn to lean on Jesus, then it must be done.

What have we learned? Sometimes it is hard to know and be honest with oneself. I know what we should have learned and pray that we have. I tried to learn from my years of preaching to others in their times of trial. It was my time to recall that abrasives irritate and inflict a great deal of pain, but they also polish and refine. Some of the thoughts that were presented to us made us more. aware of truths found in God’s Word. We had to do some serious soul-searching. “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience” (Jas. 1:2,3). This is joy? “And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth” (Heb. 12:5,6). “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby” (Heb. 12:11). Our awareness and understanding of God’s love was never more clear. How? He willingly agonized over the suffering of our child. The memory of Abraham willingly offering his son Isaac made us ponder. Christ’s agony in the garden when he prayed, “0 my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt” was never more meaningful. The Psalms were discovered anew as we searched them for comfort. We read Psalm 34 over and over. For once in our lives we knew truly how to empathize with those four families who comforted us because they knew what we were feeling. Each family had lost a child during the child’s teenage or young adult life. We learned from and leaned on our physical family and God’s family. “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2).

Joseph was polished when his brothers sold him, when Potiphar’s wife misrepresented his character and Potiphar placed him in prison for two years. The tragic events helped to develop this young man into a beautiful, sweet, forgiving person. After such cruel treatment, Joseph could say to his brothers, “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive” (Gen. 50:20). Joseph was content to view it from God’s vantage point.

I hope in leaning on Jesus that I have learned sickness of this nature happens to people because we are in the world. Jesus said, “That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and the unjust” (Matt. 5:45). Tragedies, disappointments, and sickness happen to others in the world, why should it not happen to me? Why do I deserve a wall of protection around me and my family? As a Christian I must learn to take all things and search for the lessons contained within the circumstances. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28). How we react to things determines whether they are good or bad. We never want the pain, but the result the pain brings about is for our good. Needless to say this is a learned process and it takes time. If we do not exercise ourselves unto godliness and spiritual maturity, we could become very bitter, filled with self-pity, and blame God.

The lessons studied on prayer helped to remind me that our God is a God who hears prayers (Psa. 65:2). In 1 Peter 3:12 we read, “For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers.” Through prayer in the garden, Jesus gained strength to stand before the high priest, Herod and Pilate. I hope my family and I have learned our strength is not in ourselves, but in the One who made us.

Learning to lean on Jesus means that we learn that God will supply our every need (Matt. 7:11). I had to learn that God loved me and was a better provider and Father to me than I was for my children. ” – for I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Phil. 4:11). No, we are not satisfied with circumstances but we struggle to wait patiently on the Lord. In that, there is a peace and contentment. While working with an alcoholic two sayings were brought to my attention. “Let go and let God” and “one day at a time.” Biblical truths in short sayings. Oh how agonizingly difficult; but oh how much happier and peaceful our existence when we learn and apply the truths. There is most certainly a “peace that passes understanding” that comes through prayer and turning your anxieties over to the One who controls everything.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” We whispered these words in Jill’s ear as she lay unconscious. We also prayed in her ear. There were times when we were so distraught that the only words we could utter were, “Please Lord help us.” How thankful we were that when Mama couldn’t kiss Jill’s hurt away that she had been taught to pray. Her first rational words were, “Mama, Mama, Father, Father, please help me.” She knew there was a power beyond this earth on which to lean. Many people have said since her major ordeal, they didn’t know how as a teenager she was coping with the many frustrations and problems facing her daily. When she gets depressed, she gets down on her knees and prays or she picks up a songbook and goes outside and sings. Her faith in God brings her through the difficult times in her life. We are so thankful in the midst of all the trials that she is “learning to lean on Jesus.” Where else could we take her for comfort?

What we are learning now is that although An has had a very difficult teenage life we are still responsible to lead her in the paths of righteousness. Because she has been so ill does not give us the license in the eyes of the Lord to spoil and pamper her to the point of causing her to develop sinful attitudes. This has been as difficult on our behalf as the illness itself. She is still responsible to God to grow in all the attitudes of Christ.

Learning to lean on Jesus has made my family look to the Father as our Help, Sustainer, Giver of all blessings, and the Hope of eternal life. The Lord has blessed us so bountifully, may we give glory, praise and honor to his holy name.

Guardian of Truth XXXII: 17, pp. 529-530, 549
September 1, 1988

By Jimmy Tuten

Experience drove home what I knew already: divorce always exacts a toll. In addition to the shame, the hurt, and the bewilderment of your children, there is also the trauma of having to cope with an upheaval that is far worse than the death of a loved one. The dramatic change in one’s life calling for immediate readjustments (sometimes accompanied with great anxiety) produced the shocking reality of being propelled into a harsh and cruel environment. I felt afraid and helpless. Adjusting to new circumstances with its concerns about the unknown was difficult. I now know what it is like to be suddenly single again. I know what it is like to try surviving while wading through a morass of grief and guilt. And worse of all – I know what it is like to be alone.

I simply could not survive without first closing the door on my relationship with my former spouse. My intensive hurt later became anger, an anger I knew had to be dispelled. This was not easy. So many of my problems had to do with the fact that I was a divorced preacher. Those problems did not yield to quick solutions. I had a career to pursue and two fine boys whose lives were broken and were now in need of delicate direction. I knew that each of the tasks would be difficult at best. But what brought me through was my faith in God and his Word (1 Pet. 1:5). I threw myself into my commitment of adding to my faith virtue, knowledge, and the other graces spoken of by Peter (2 Pet. 1:4-11).

I knew my God would sustain me. But first I must make my calling and election sure. And above all else, I must not allow myself to stumble or to fall in the midst of false charges, suspicions, and hypocrisies leveled by brethren who felt they knew the situation better than I did. Even if it took the rest of my life, I was determined to prove myself worthy, both in the sight of men as well as God. I prayed for a strength that only God could provide. And I found the needed vigor. It was and still is, “my God and I” I feel for the person who has no faith to sustain him in time of trouble and tribulation. Because of a strength found in God, I quickly concluded that I had two practical problems that needed to be set in order.

First, I had to arrange management matters and sustain control over emotional upheavals experienced by my boys and myself. I thus fueled my determination with vitality. Second, ever before me was the thought: “I must not falter – I will not falter.” I had two formidable enemies, Satan and self. Self wanted to yield to self pity, to grief, to rejection, etc. But, I knew I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13).

In Perils Among Brethren

Nineteen hundred years ago inspiration had said, “he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness. Let love be without dissimulation” (Rom. 12:8-9). I expected my brethren to understand the devastation I was going through. I was shocked to find rejection as a reward for misplaced hope. Divorce has no end, and finding it perpetuated by thoughtless, unheeding friends was a disappointment to me, a setback I did not expect. I desperately needed recognition and support, but it was not there. My loneliness increased and I felt threatened. Had I somehow become an instant threat to them? I had not changed. Rather, it was they who had changed in their feelings toward me. The problem was theirs and not mine. Perhaps I represented what they knew could happen to their own marriages (things were not going that well with some of them) or, was it that they were in a double bind and not wanting to take sides? I did not want them to stop being friends with my former spouse. I simply was in a need of their help. I wanted to know that they were standing by. What made it worse yet was the fact that I was being scape-goated by my former wife. Brethren were drawing conclusions without investigating facts. At first, I tried explaining, but it was futile. Besides, why should I have to defend my actions, especially since our Lord gave the innocent party the right to put away the guilty (Matt. 19:9)? Whenever I went to gospel meetings, lectureships, etc., I saw brethren looking disapprovingly at me and whispering to each other. Some acted Pharisaical, avoiding me as if I had some dreaded disease. Often I went away with ruffled and sick feelings. I felt pathetic, abused, unloved. Was this the love of the brethren (1 Pet. 3:8)? 1 was not being used in meetings, was not called upon to lead prayer when visiting meetings in the area and in some instances my presence would be overlooked in the announcements. I was disillusioned and had the urge to get away from this display of Christianity. I cried and I prayed (Jas. 5:16). I dug deep into the recesses of my soul for patience and the establishing of my heart (Jas. 5:8).

What I still do not understand is the fact that if one’s conduct warranted one’s being “marked” in this way (Rom. 16:17), why was no effort made to restore an erring brother (Jas. 5:19-20)? Have we removed ourselves so far from the spirit of truth that we cannot display kind consideration and concern? Not once did I ever ask for approval. It is sad that brethren repeatedly confused benevolence with unanimity. Our Lord loved the sinner (Jn. 3:16). Can we do less? I think it would have helped if only someone had confronted me with an accusing finger. At least, I would have known that someone cared.

Someone Did Care

A few proved themselves true friends by reaching out and touching me with tender concern. In some instances they silently walked beside me even in the valley. They joyfully sang with me on the mountain top. The better they got to know me, the more determined they were to lend support. How happy am I that friendship encircled my life and became a living thing nourished with kindness, sympathy, and understanding.

It is with sweet memories that I recall the standing invitation for an evening meal and the opportunity just to be with someone. To talk, but not to wear them out. (Others said, “if we can help, let us know,” knowing they would never be asked.) The godly couple with the open door of hospitality were the means of my emotional salvation. The few preachers and business men who bolstered my sinking morale and those across the miles who sacrificed to plione often with their cheering, sincere, “how are you?” stands as a monument to the Word of God: “A friend loveth at all times” (Prov. 17:17).

Two Boys And Their Adjustments

Divorce can be especially difficult if children are involved. How win they react, adjust and mature? Some results cannot be determined until later in years. Many answers remain to be seen in this regard. But trying to make a first-year college student and a thirteen year old understand that I would always be around even though their mother had forsaken them was a task too difficult to put in writing. They had to become adultlike before their time. If they were to learn, accept, become independent and succeed in their field, it would be due in part to their having seen their father do the same. How badly they needed to learn that in life setbacks and successes share equal time. There is a constant struggle and a continuing battle. But I wanted my boys to share the legacy of a Godfearing father’s determination to survive. Maybe being a survivor is our only claim to fame.

Conclusion

What is a divorce like? Perhaps one can understand by considering the parable of the trees: In a forest deep and quiet a pair of trees had endured the competition required for nature’s balance – swaying branches to propell seed, give light and drink to all forms of life. In the fall rains and snows pushed two acorns more firmly into the ground that cradled them. Soon small roots reached down into the soil and tiny branches searched the heavens for light. Two new oak trees were born!

The trees flowered in youthful beauty. Their roots intertwined beneath the forest floor; they reached out and touched; they anchored each other, giving and receiving strength.

An intruder comes into the forest and scoops up one of the trees, moves on, carrying off the oak from its mate. The remaining tree is left with its roots exposed and torn, still clinging to the shorn-off roots of the other tree. What follows is a struggle to remain upright. Storms rage and the tree shudders and wavers in the winds. Its roots clutch the soil, reaching deeper and deeper into the ground.

When morning comes, the oak still stands. The rains that washed the sky pushed the warm earth around its broken roots. Healing begins and the forest protects the tree. The tree finds more room now that the other is gone. Its branches spread out and with the coming of the winds begins to sway again. “But my God shall supply all your need” (Phil. 4:19).

Guardian of Truth XXXII: 17, pp. 520-521, 549
September 1, 1988

By Randall McPherson

We left the house around 3:30 p.m. on that Friday afternoon, July 18, 1975. Bea and I were on our way to Nashville with a group to enjoy the “Friday Night Opry.” Ricky and Mark were on their way to Glasgow to check out a possible buyer for Ricky’s motorcycle. We all planned to be home later that night. Those plans went awry. We would never be together again – at least not in this life.

According to plans, Ricky and Mark, along with a neighbor friend, were on their way home. It was dusk. Ricky was riding single leading the way and Mark was riding double with their friend. Ricky was coming into a curve near the top of a little rise. Suddenly, from nowhere, there was a car in his path. It was coming toward him on the wrong side of the road. The car hit Ricky head-on and then struck the car trailing him. After emerging from his car, the errant driver said to the woman driving the car he had hit, “I hit something before I hit you.” That something was our son, Ricky!

The ambulance came. Ricky lived until they got him to the hospital. In the meantime, the errant driver was allowed to go home. After learning of Ricky’s death, the State Trooper investigating the accident decided that he should administer a breathalyzer test to the man. When he arrived at the man’s house, the trooper learned that the test was useless; the man had been drinking after the accident and had a beer open then. While my son died, his killer was drinking beer! That hurt!

As our bus pulled into the parking lot of the local PCA Office later that night, I sensed something was wrong. I saw many people gathered – too many for that time of night. I saw Dudley Spear, the local preacher and a longtime friend of the family, making his way toward the bus. I knew he was coming for me. He would not tell us what had happened until after Bea and I were inside the car. His words still ring in my ears. They always will. He said, “Ricky is dead!”

Ricky was the third of our four children. He was an eighteen-year-old senior, well-known in the south central Kentucky region. As a high school basketball star, he was admired and loved by many. He had received statewide recognition as a sophomore when he was named to the All State Honorable Mention Team. But more importantly, Ricky was widely known as a young Christian man. He had served at the Lord’s table the Sunday before his death.

As I learned the details of how this careless, beer-drinking man had “murdered” one of our precious sons, I was at a loss for words to describe the feelings that were generated inside my heart. Among other things, I suppose anger stands out. I was angry with the errant man. (I have never met him to this day.) I was angry with the police; why had they not arrested the man at the scene? (I still do not know why.) Why had they waited to give the breathalyzer test? (I stiff do not know.) I was angry with myself. Why had I allowed Ricky to buy this motorcycle two years before? Why hadn’t we stayed home that night? Maybe Ricky would not have gone to Glasgow. The “if’s” flowed like water. I hurt inside.

For the next several weeks I did little except sit around and think about Ricky. Friends continued to come by and offer their condolences. Other well-meaning friends were unwittingly paving the way over which bitterness sometimes travels. I remember one friend who was not a Christian saying, “Randall, all this seems so unfair. Ricky was such a fine young man, and you have given so much of your life in helping people. Why has this tragedy happened in your family?” Many others, both Christian and otherwise, expressed similar thoughts. It would have been very easy for me to have become bitter at this point. Fate was dealing me a bad hand in the game of life (Eccl. 8:14).

If you are expecting me to tell you that, at this point, I turned to the Bible for the answer, you are wrong. I would be dishonest if I told you that. It never occurred to me. The Bible helped all right, but not by what I could glean from it then. It helped at this point in time by the influence it had on my fife in the past. It is difficult to find answers after a problem arises; it is much easier to have the answer before the problem comes. Surely the explanations a preacher gives of certain Scriptures through the years have to have some positive effect upon him, even though he is not conscious of it.

In teaching the Bible for thirty-five years, I have quoted and explained the following Scripture many times. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:31-32).

I usually organize my thoughts on this text along these lines: (1) Bitterness is a word associated with taste, but here it is used to accent a feeling. (2) Bitterness can be overcome; the Bible never tells us to do the impossible (“put away”). (3) Bitterness keeps bad company; it very well could be an umbrella word for the other negative feelings in the verse (“wrath, anger, clamor”). (4) Antidotes for bitterness are kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness (“Be”). Those in danger of falling victim to bitterness would do well to study these verses in this light.

I read the Bible through in the few weeks following Ricky’s death. I had one thing in mind. I wanted to meditate upon every verse that had anything to do with the whereabouts of the dead. I underlined and made notes on every passage that alluded to this. Indirectly, this helped my prevailing attitude tremendously. (It also caused me to modify some former views about the dead.)

Reading about the glories that await the righteous, one must conclude that the righteous are better off than we. If so, why should we be so upset about a Christian leaving us in death? One can easily see why Paul would have “a desire to depart and to be with Christ” (Phil. 1:23) or why he “earnestly desired to be clothed with our habitation from heaven” (2 Cor. 5:2). It is natural for the living to mourn the passing of a loved one, yet, in reality, the deceased are better off than we (Eccl. 4:2). The doctor who attended Ricky in the emergency room told us that had Ricky lived, he would have had severe brain damage and would have been an invalid the rest of his life. Knowing Ricky, he would have chosen I ‘to be with the Lord.” That, my friend, helped!

Somehow, something else took on new meaning as I read the Bible through. God only knows how many times I have preached on forgiveness. But, now, it seemed to have more meaning. The forgiving spirit that Jesus demonstrated in his life seemed to come alive. How could I call myself a disciple and not feel the same way he felt? How could I read passages that demand forgiveness, even to enemies, and hold malice in my heart toward anyone?

How could Jesus do it? I could say “I forgive” and not feel it inside my heart, but Jesus could. Empathy was a wonderful quality that Jesus possessed. He could put himself “in the shoes of others” and truly understand their feelings in any situation. He could “be touched by the feeling of our infirmities” (Heb. 4:15). He has stood in your shoes whosoever you are. Obviously, it would do us all good to stand in another’s shoes sometimes.

While reflecting upon my own life, these questions came to mind. Had I ever at some point in my life been driving on the highway while drinking beer? I am not proud of it, but, yes, I had. Had I ever made a stupid mistake while driving, such as being on the wrong side of the highway? Yes, I had. I continue to be careless and do this sometime. Would I have felt badly if I had caused the death of a child? Yes, it would have been devastating! That poor man made a careless, human mistake that will haunt him for the rest of his life. It just as easily could have been me.

Having considered all this, I felt differently about the man way down deep inside. It was then that I knew I had forgiven him, Remember, true forgiveness is within and not an utterance of the lips. Is not this the antidote I mentioned?

Conclusion

I suppose I should leave some kind of advice to any who may be trying to keep seeds of bitterness from developing in their own lives. Consider seriously these thoughts.

The first thing one should do is to honestly evaluate the situation. Is the matter over which you are becoming bitter really as bad as it seems? Remember, even the death of the righteous is a blessing unless we selfishly look at it. Try to see as God sees. Remember, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints” (Psa. 116:15).

Secondly, if the bitterness is caused by a person, work hard at forgiving him. You can if you will put yourself in his place. Consider his upbringing and circumstances. If you had been him, would you have acted differently? In all likelihood, you have done some of the same things he has done. Do you remember Jesus saying, “He that is without sin, cast the first stone” (Jn. 8:7)?

Thirdly, read the Bible. Read it regularly. Hear these inspired messengers firsthand. This daily exposure to the fine principles set forth in the Scriptures will surely innoculate you from the terrible disease of bitterness. Jesus said, “. . . Learn of me, and you shall find rest for your souls” (Matt. 11:28-30).

Bitterness is a poison that can prove fatal to the Christian. Deal with it early before it can invade every facet of your life.

Guardian of Truth XXXII: 17, pp. 525-526
September 1, 1988