Truth Magazine

By Irvin Himmel

Frankness Finds Favor

He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favor than he that flattereth with the tongue (Prov. 28:23).

Although there are people who do not care what others think about them, most of us desire the esteem and good will of our acquaintances. Our words and actions toward others reflect our inclination to find favor with them.

On the surface it seems that rebuking someone is not the way to gain his respect and admiration, but frankness finds more favor then flattery.

Rebuke

The Hebrew word for “rebuke” (yakach) in this proverb means to decide, judge, reprove, or correct. We rebuke a person when we take him to task or reprimand him.

(1) Rebuking requires courage. It is much easier to brag on someone than to tell him that he wrong. When God charged Nathan the prophet to go to David and convict him of the sin of adultery, it took boldness on Nathan’s part to fulfill the assignment (2 Sam. 12). David was the king of Israel. He had great power. Already he had arranged to dispose of Uriah the Hittite. If he became angry toward Nathan, the prophet might be imprisoned or put to death. Nathan courageously went to David and pointed out his sinfulness.

(2) Rebuking may be painful. Possibly there are some who relish telling another his faults, but a conscientious person, keenly aware of his own shortcomings, finds no pleasure in confronting another about his transgressions. “Nothing is more irritating or hardening than to be rebuked by one who evidently enjoys his office. But if the one who points out our fault is evidently deeply pained himself, we must be very obdurate if we are insensible to such an appeal. The wayward child is conquered, not by the rod in his mother’s hand, but by the tears in her eyes” (E. Hurndall).

(3) Rebuking shows love. Paul found it painful to rebuke his brethren but love compelled him. He expressed his feelings this way: “For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you” (2 Cor. 2:4).

(4) Rebuking is commanded. God told the Israelites, “Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbor, and not suffer sin upon him” (Lev. 19:17). The command to rebuke one who sins was to avoid developing hatred toward him and to avoid complicity in his sin. Jesus taught that if a brother trespasses against thee, “go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone” (Matt. 18:15). Again, Jesus commanded, “if thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him” (Lk. 17:3).

(5) A rebuke is a call to repentance. The aim in castigating someone is to produce godly sorrow which in turn brings about repentance. The design of a rebuke is not punishment. Read Paul’s remarks in 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 on this point.

(6) A rebuke may cause temporary displeasure. The one who is reproved may not like his medicine. He may get angry and attempt to justify his misconduct.

Favor Afterwards

In the long run rebuke is more likely to bring admiration and respect than displeasure. “We are so prone to self-love, and pride, that the most prudent, and needful rebukes are apt to create transient displeasure. Yet upon reflection most men will have a better opinion of a faithful reprover, than of a soothing flatterer, and will show him more favor” (T. Scott).

When the rebuked person comes to his senses, his heart will be grateful toward the individual who pointed out his fault and convicted him of his sin.

Failure of Flattery

As Proverbs 26:28 states it, “a flattering mouth worketh ruin. ” How many people do you know who have been brought to repentance through flattery? The real friend is not the flatterer but one who rebukes in the spirit of love.

“He who gives us kisses when he ought to give us reproof, or who holds back deserved rebuke from cowardice, is more cruel than if he withheld from us an indispensable medicine simply because it had a bitter taste. And if a wound is to be probed it is surely better for the patient that it should be done by a skillful and tender hand than by one who has no sympathy with us and no acquaintance with our inner life” (W. Harris).

Firm, frank, and kind rebuke finds more favor than flattery will ever produce.

Guardian of Truth XXXI: 4, p. 108
February 19, 1987

By Jady W. Copeland

In our previous article, We noted that it is possible for a child of God to lose his faith, and hence quit walking with (being in harmony with) God. Also we saw what a tragedy it is to lose fellowship with God, as well as losing fellowship with the brethren to say nothing about losing our potential for good and the hope of eternal life. To say that losing our faith and hence our hope is a tragedy is surely an understatement. Furthermore we saw the symptoms of falling. In this article we want to look at some causes of falling away, how it can be prevented, and finally how to restore the erring.

Causes

Underneath all “causes” is Satan. The devil aims at our weak points, and has no hesitation in using any means possible to cause one to leave the fellowship of God. Let us illustrate. Suppose a football coach realizes that the left tackle of the opposing team has been injured and is not in the game. His substitute is a very weak one with no experience. Does the coach say, “We will be easy on the opposition, so we won’t run the plays over that young man”? No, indeed, but he takes that opportunity to find a weak spot in the opposition’s defense and takes advantage of it. So Satan finds a “weak spot” in our defense; he comes right at us in that area. It is Satan that wants us to fall, and is always looking for ways to cause it (1 Pet. 5:8).

Companionship, One of the greatest causes for falling is evil companionship. Paul said, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals'” (1 Cor. 15:33, NAS). Macknight says in his commentary, “Shun the company of the wicked, that ye be not deceived by their false reasonings. Profane discourses and vicious examples corrupt even those who are virtuously disposed” (James Macknight, Macknight on the Epistles, Vol. 2, p. 27 1). Solomon found out that even family members can have an evil influence on one, as his wives turned his heart from God to idols (1 Kgs. 11:1-4). It is a common experience for a mother or father to come to a preacher, elder or friend writhing in pain over a wayward child and saying, “He got into the wrong crowd.” While it is true that the parent should have thought of such earlier in the life of the child, still it is not to be denied that companionship did play a major role in the loss of the boy or girl.

Weakness Toward Pleasures. Another major cause of falling is our vulnerability to pleasures in life. Americans have become so accustomed to plenty that we are unwilling to make any sacrifices, and this applies to the Christian as well as any other. Satan strikes at the heart of our weak points, knowing that the Christian is not willing to give up his “soft” way of life. We have more money, more leisure time and more opportunities for “fun, frolic and fantasies” than ever before. And since many have become accustomed to such a life style before conversion, it is difficult to give it up. John says, “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (1 Jn 2:15). It is becoming more and more difficult to schedule a gospel meeting when people are not busy with the things of the world – not meaning necessarily immoral activities, but worldly things that crowd out the spiritual life that should take first place in the life of every child of God. In the parable of the soils Jesus explains, “And he that was sown upon the rocky places, this is he that heareth the word, and straightway with joy receiveth it; yet hath he not root in himself, but endureth for a while; and when -tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, straightway he stumbleth. And he that was sown among the thorns, this is he that heareth the word; and the cares of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful” (Matt. 13:20-22). Are we becoming too busy with the pleasures and the cares of the world to be Christians? Along with this, we must put the material things of life as a major cause of falling. Riches are deceitful, as this passage teaches, and can and do lead many astray.,Money promises much, and delivers little in the way of happiness and contentment (1 Tim. 6:6-10).

Inability to Withstand Persecution. As noted in the parable above, some fall away because they cannot handle persecution. The Lord’s, way is not the most popular way in life’ so when pressures mount from friends, relatives and fellow-workers, they yield to such and become unfaithful. Persecutions do not usually come from physical danger, but from pressures on one’s social or family life. Having been accustomed to the ways of the world, the Christian finds himself pressured into turning back to the ways of Satan because of the social pressure placed on him for living for Christ. There are some who simply cannot bring themselves to make the sacrifice necessary to live the Christian life. They decide the “hard sayings” of Jesus are simply too much to handle and their faith fails them (Jn. 6:66-68).

Prevention

In the area of prevention of falling, Christians must be careful to help one another. Some become discouraged because, being weak in faith, they think the elders or other Christians simply don’t hold up their hands and offer help while they are growing. Perhaps they have expected too much, but still the young Christian needs all the encouragement he can get from those who are stronger. The spiritually-minded must realize that they once were where the weak person is, and therefore offer his help, encouragement and advice to hold up the hands of those who need help. In Romans 14 we have the attitude of the strong toward the weak, and we must never forget that we once stood where they now are. Perhaps we have not taken seriously enough Paul’s admonition in Romans 14:15, “For if because of meat thy brother is grieved, thou walkest no longer in love. Destroy not with thy meat him for whom Christ died.” I often hear caustic remarks to a weak brother by one who has been in the church a long time. They talk to the newborn babe as if he should know everything. We seem to be more patient with the weak brother than with the older Christian who should know better. “Rebuke” is often necessary, but often (especially with the new Christian) exhortation, teaching and love is what the new Christian needs. After all he may not have been “raised in the church.”

Brotherly love is very important in the prevention of one’s falling away from Christ. “Let love of the brethren continue. . . ” (Heb. 13:1). “In love of the brethren be tenderly affectioned one to another; in honor preferring one another. . . ” (Rom. 12:10). Since serving as an elder for some years, I find that too many brethren say, “That’s the elders’ work” when it comes to helping a weak brother. Sure, it is the elder’s work, but Galatians 6:1 was not spoken exclusively to elders. When did brethren get the idea that the only one who could lift up a weak brother’s hand is the elder? It is often a “cop-out.” They simply don’t want to talk to the brother, or are fearful of doing so. I am afraid many have been lost to the Lord, because we are “too busy” to encourage one weak in faith. In our group here, we have asked on several occasions that the congregation go to speak to erring brethren about their life. Only a very few do so. “That’s elder’s business. ” Often a good friend can do more than an elder in such matters. Many a Christian who is “falling” could be helped if we would “consider one another to provoke unto love and good works. . . ” (Heb. 10:24).

I am not saying the weak brother doesn’t have a responsibility. Surely he needs to pray more, read the Scriptures more and exercise himself unto godliness more. He must realize his eternal destiny is at stake. He must realize the Lord said to him, “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Pet. 3:18). He must realize a constant search for truth is very important for as Peter also said, “As newborn babes long for the spiritual milk which is without guile, that ye may grow thereby unto salvation” (1 Pet. 2:2). He must realize that prevention of sin in his life necessitates the “hiding” of the word in his heart (Psa. 119:11). Also the Psalmist said in that same connection (v. 35), “Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight.” In fact it would do well for the Christian who finds himself losing faith to read the entire 119th Psalm and note the many advantages to the knowledge of and the Application of the word of God.

Awareness is so very important to the Christian. If we are always aware of the possibility of falling and becoming an apostate, surely we will watch for pitfalls. The Hebrew writer said, “Take heed brethren, lest haply there shall be in any one of you an evil heart of unbelief, in falling away from the living God: but exhort one another day by day, so long as it is called Today; lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:12-13). A great advantage in regular attendance with the saints is the encouragement we get from other saints. While no one is going to be responsible for us in judgment, surely we can “reprove, rebuke and exhort” one another to love and good works. As we so often say, “We need all the help we can get” from God as well as the saints.

Guardian of Truth XXXI: 4, pp. 110-111
February 19, 1987

By Gospel Preachers

We, the undersigned preachers of the gospel, set forth the following heartfelt expression of genuine concern. It is offered in sincere Christian love for our brethren everywhere to consider. It is our fervent desire that this expression may help to avert division and prevent further harm to the spiritual body of Christ. Our prayer is that this statement to which we affix our names will awaken many brethren to some ever-increasing dangers confronting us.

I. We are deeply disturbed over the liberalism that Is so evident In the brotherhood today. By “liberalism” we mean especially the following Items, though not excluding other specifics that could be mentioned:

A. There is a drifting from the Bible-centered, definitive, distinctive doctrine that once characterized our preaching. Presently, uncertain sounds and weak messages emanate from many pulpits among us. Brethren are becoming accustomed to diluted and polluted preaching. We are rapidly approaching the point where many of our people, including preachers and elders, no longer know the difference between true Christianity and the corrupted forms of it so prevalent about us.

B. There is a concerted effort on the part of some of our brethren to restructure the organization, worship and work of the church along sectarian lines, thus tending to denominationalize the New Testament body of Christ.

C. A spirit of doctrinal compromise and fellowshipping of those in blatant religious error has permeated our ranks.

D. The world has made alarming Inroads into the church. Instead of the church influencing the world for righteousness, as it should, the world has adversely affected many brethren In matters of morality and conduct of life.

E. The typical emphasis of the denominational world on recreation, entertainment, and solving the social ills of society has been Incorporated into the thinking and programs of many congregations, supplanting the God-given work of meeting the desperate spiritual needs of those both within and without the body of Christ.

II. We are also greatly concerned over the controversy surrounding Abilene Christian University, and we fool that It needs to be property resolved.

A. About a year and a half ago, two ACU biology professors were charged with teaching as fact the theory of evolution, without any refutation whatsoever. Strong evidence was presented to substantiate the charges. In January of 1986, an ACU graduate with a Ph.D. In the field of biology published a book entitled, Is Genesis Myth?, in which much of the evidence was made available to the brotherhood. Since then. even more facts and damaging testimony have emerged.

B. In February of 1986. ACU responded with an “Investigative Report” and “Institutional Statement,” in which the charges were wholly denied. Though many have accepted these statements without question, It is our conviction that they have not responsibly addressed the accusations, much less answered them. And many specifies were left untouched.

C. ACU’s statement W83 simply the result of blanket acceptance of the findings of an In-house “Special Committee,” which consisted of three members of the Board of Trustees appointed to Investigate the matter. We believe that such an arrangement was the same, In principle, as If President Nixon had appointed three close associates to Investigate the Watergate scandal. A lack of objectivity and thoroughness must surely account for the definite conflict between the tangible evidence available and the official denial Issued by the school. In our judgment, this leaves a cloud of shaken confidence hanging over Abilene Christian University.

D. Some apparently fool that our educational Institutions should never be called in question. We believe that this attitude is seriously flawed. If New Testament writers could highlight the mistakes of certain first-century congregations. surely no school is immune to scrutiny. It Is because we want to see ACU safeguarded for the benefit of the Lord’s people that we raise these concerns.

E. We therefore urgently request the ACU Administration and/or Board of Trustees to allow an impartial, independent investigation of the evolution controversy by a committee of men who are outside the framework of the ACU family, who are knowledgeable in Bible-3clence matters, and who have the confidence of sound brethren. Such an Investigation should be as extensive as possible in order for a proper determination to be made and a just disposition of the matter to be implemented.

F. Over the past several years. ACU has also become Increasingly known for using numerous liberal-leaning speakers on its annual lectureship and other programs. Such has caused great concern to many about the direction the school is headed. Surely faithful and concerned brethren have the right to call for inquiry as to why such speakers are given a warm reception on ACU platforms to promote Ideas which are harmful to the Cause we love.

This statement is simply an urgent plea from preachers of the gospel who love the Lord, His church, and His cause with all our hearts. We oppose both radicalism and liberalism, and we fool sure that the vast majority In the Lords church today share these convictions. Therefore, we wish to emphasize the following:

We are convinced that It is time for more and more brethren to speak forth plainly! We must not sit idly by and watch the cause of truth erode. We urge brethren everywhere to join us in fatting their voices be heard.

Express your convictions to the elders and preacher of your local congregation. Write letters to ACU Board members and Administrators, and let them know how you feel. ( We can furnish a list of their names and addresses.) Brethren, please speak up! “Truth is not only violated by falsehood; It may be equally outraged by silence.”

The names affixed to this statement by no means exhaust the roll of faithful and concerned preachers. We are merely reprosentathis of many who are anxious for the welfare of the Lord’s church.

Maxie B. Boren, Frank Dunn, Noble Patterson, Eddie Whitten, Gary Workman, Tommy Hicks, Richard Melson, Dan Jenskins, T.B. Crews, Loyd Smith, Mark Bass, J. Leathel Roberts, Keith Oliver, Bobby Bates, Ed Rodgers, Jack Orbison, Jon Gary Williams, Goebel Music, Roy J. Hearn, W.L. Fricks, Jim Dobbs, F.F. Conley, Stan Stevenson, David P. Brown, Wayne Price, Jerry Noblin, Sr., Carl Garner, Bobby Duncan, Perry B. Cotham, Michael Wyatt, Charles E. Wrenn, Ken Butterworth, Tim Ayers, T. Larry Marshall, Keith Mosher, Sr., W. Michael Hatcher, John Baldwin, Luther Savage, Don Ruhl, Frank Starling, William Cline, Glenn Willcut, Tony Lawrence, Rex A. Turner, Sr., A.C. Morris, Barry Hatcher, Foy Forehand, Clarence Lavender, Darrell Conley, Jim E. Waldron, Bobby Wood, H.A. “Buster” Dobbs, J. Donald Nash, Joe B. Rhoten, Demar Elam, H.R. “Bob” Hurd, Blackie Ellison, Phil Scott, Ralph Genry, Dabney Phillips, Johnny Anders, John Temples, Graham Cain, Kippy Myers, Tom Blewitt, Timothy A. Pahman, Sr., Leon D. Schrei, Steve Patterson, M.L. Sexton, Barry Kym Polk, Cecil Corkren, Sammy Cooper, T. Pierce Brown, Dalton Graves, Oran Rhodes, John Morgan, Andy Kizer, Jack C. Scott, Jr., Owen Aikin, David E. Hanson, Bubba Phillips, Preston Cotham, Don Tarbet, Flavil Nichols, Tom Adams, Jodies Boren, Ray Peters, Gaylord Cook, Andrew Connally, Gary Summers, A.G. Hobbs, Reid Bennett, Robert Dodson, Jr., Steven Lloyd, Dwight Fuqua, Rod Rutherford, Wayne Coats, David Dugan, Bill Lockwood, Joe Galloway, Terry Hightower, W.L. “Bill” Hearn, Burt Groves, Clyde Freeman, Tim Nichols, Bob Odle, Bronson Ostic, Toney L. Smith, Charles Atnip, Gilbert Gough, John Waddey, W.E. Skipper, Fred McClung, W.N. “Bill” Jackson, John D. Griffis, Graland Elkins, Idus England, Earl L. Craig, Byron Denman, James D. Willeford, Don Hinds, Dub McClish, Al Brown, Jerry Moffitt, Manlif Barnes, Dick Biggs, Rex Oberg, Dave Collier, Jack Cox, Joe Cross, Don Michael, Brad Broming, D. Gene West, Jack Norris, Bud Bayless, Pat McGee, W.D. Jeffcoat, Noah Hackworth, M.T. Crass, Dennis oss, Glann Lee, Tom Bright, Arnold Sexton, Billy R. Davidson, Paul Epps, Archie Waldrum, Russell Artist, Lynn Matheny, Johnny Ramsey, Harrell Davidson, Kenneth Franklin, Larry Fluitt, Troy Cummings, Joe K. Alley, H.L. Shirley, Donald W. Walker, E.L. Whitaker, Marvin Weir, John G. Shaver, Joe Malone, W. Terry Varner, Jim O’Connor, Steve Gibson, Murray Marshall, Charles E. Hill, Robert Stephenson, Glen Williams, Robert F. Berard, J.D. Boren, Darrell Perry, Dick Sztanyo, Billy L. Morris, Tim Lavender, William C. “Bill” Hatcher, Roy C. Deaver, Gary Colley, J. Cleo Scott, Garell Forehand, Perry Hall, Lester Fisher, Foy L. Smith, Alfred Palmer, Terry Hill, Winfred Clark, Cody A. Burgin, Glenn R. Sheumaker, J.T. Marlin, Paul Wilkinson, Joe Ruiz, Darrell Moore, Paul T. Kidwell, Jr., Roy Hannah, Dan Flournoy, Bobby Cullum, Ken Chumbley, Phil Smith, Steve Orduno, Kenneth Bayles, Wayne Jackson, Eldon Rodgers, Frank Faircloth, Comer Hall, Kenny Cain, Edwin S. Jones, Joe Wilson Smith, Charles Reid, Mark K. Lewis

Guardian of Truth XXXI: 4, p. 102
February 19, 1987

By Lorain Buck Moyer

(Note: Merlyn and Lorain Buck were married for thirty-seven years. For some seventeen years, brother Buck was an elder of the Lassen St. church in Sepulveda, CA. This is an account of his tragic death and how trust in God sustained Lorain through such a trying time. Lorain is now married to Forrest Moyer, a gospel preacher, and lives in Morro Bay, CA.)

It was Wednesday, August 8th, 1984 – much like any other day. We were having a gospel meeting with Rodney and Carla Miller which would end that evening. The day was a good one. We were full of excitement. The meeting had given a new zeal to us, and our vacation was to start that evening. We were busy with last minute preparations to the motor home and checking our list of last minute things to do. It had been a hard eleven months that had passed. Satan had tried to steal the joy from our lives earlier when Merlyn had fallen eleven feet and broken his back. He had worn a brace for five months but had recovered reasonably well, and we were thankful to God that we had won.

That evening as we drove our motor home to services, we were filled with anticipation. When services ended, we said our goodbyes and with our friends following us we drove out into the desert. It was a beautiful evening, crisp, clear and it seemed that you could reach out and touch the stars. But the thing that I remember most was the moon — it was full, and we were holding hands laughing. It seemed we always picked a time when the moon was full, and any fisherman knows that fish don’t bite well when the moon is full. Our favorite tape was playing. Merlyn would look at me and say, “Babe, I wonder what the poor people are doing?” (A private joke of ours.) We drove for several hours finally stopping around midnight at a rest area. We said our prayers and gave our usual good night kiss, then closed our eyes in sleep not knowing what the morrow was holding.

Morning came quickly, but it was a beautiful morning. On to Bishop. We had breakfast at our favorite place, even a deep dish berry pie. It was mid morning and getting very hot, nearly 100 degrees, and the men were eager to get to our fishing hole approximately 20 miles out of Bishop. Around eleven a.m. it began. Going up the grade about 15 miles out of Bishop a problem developed that we thought was a vapor lock. Oh, it was so hot by then. We were on a steep grade with no way to turn around – only asphalt and desert like ground.

Fiery Trouble

Changing clothes, the men began to see what they could do. With the cap removed from the gas tank and the carburetor off inside, the men worked. I got gasoline on me and I was told to quickly wash it off. My Merlyn wasn’t so lucky. For some reason gasoline sloshed out of the gas tank and saturated his clothing. The next thing I remember is him lying in the bushes on fire . . . he was, on’ his side and not moving. I screamed and screamed! I was barefooted and they wouldn’t let me go to him. I ran to the middle of the highway and would let no one pass. I told them we needed their water – my husband was on fire!

He walked into our friends’ motor home and lay on the floor – the smell of human flesh filled the small space the pains inside my body were indescribable as I would look at him. His clothes were gone; his hands lay open like someone was filleting a piece of meat. Without a cry or raised voice he would say, “Hon, please put my hands in water . . . put some on my arms.” You don’t know what to do. You’re confused. It’s overwhelming. Finally, some man who had stopped took over. Someone was invading our grief by taking movie pictures and saying, “That’s his wife.” How cruel, I thought.

It seemed the paramedics would never come. What was 20 minutes seemed like 20 hours. Merlyn walked to the ambulance with help. The drive back to Bishop was an eternity. I rode with them. Our lives had turned into a nightmare. The thing that always happens to the other person had just happened to us. I didn’t know he was going to die. Satan was hard at work again. He tries every way he can to rob us of our soul. Merlyn’s face and feet had been spared by the fire. His long eyelashes, eyebrows and hair were partly singed off, but his big blue eyes and infectious smile were still there.

I phoned Colorado. Our daughter (Linda Houchen) and family had just arrived there for a vacation. They immediately made arrangements to return home. Merlyn’s only reply when I told him I had called was, “Why did you do that for?” I must have sensed the severity of things. I had friends call our son in Montana.

Waiting At The Hospital

The hours were long. I was in the emergency room with him most of the time. His strength was giving me the strength I needed. The decisions we were sharing together were with his ever calm, logical approach as he still thought of others first. I knew that was the way I was to handle the situations that were to follow. He was wrapped like a mummy. His knees and arms he kept bent as he would roll from side to side in pain ever saying, “Hon, have them put water on my legs, now my arms.” The room was flooded with water from a hose that was running continually over him as fast as they could move it. Towels were every where to keep us from slipping as we did what we could. He would ask me for water. I explained why he couldn’t have it. He never asked again. He was on a morphine drip. His friend Theron (Theron Bohannon) who was with us went in to see him. Merlyn quipped, “Well, the big one got away. We’ll get him next time.”

Flight To Van Nuys

Beyond the curtain that divided the small emergency room lay a small child five years old, an auto accident victim. She was unconscious and in great danger of losing her sight and having brain damage. A medical airplane was on its way to take Merlyn to the burn center in Sherman Oaks. The doctors asked to talk with me. They explained the situation to me – that the little girl needed the plane to be flown North for emergency surgery or there would be permanent brain damage. They wanted our plane! I replied, “I need to talk with my husband. I can’t make this decision alone.” He had heard them with the child only a curtain apart. I explained the situation and that it would mean waiting a few hours longer. He asked, “How old is she?” I replied, “Five.” His very words were, “Oh, let them take her first.” I knew he would say that, but to hear him say it was like someone was tearing out my heart, and I could feel the ligament pulling away from my bones. The doctors and nurses came out to talk to me again. They said they had never seen a person like this with such composure – no yelling, no crying out, so thoughtful of others. They said they could tell he was a special person, and he was. What strength! What trust in Whom he believed.

The day was long and drew into evening. He was put into critical care in a sterile room. From then on I had to wear gowns and a mask. I went to him in my sterile gown and told him it was me under the garb. His favorite expression to me was, “You look good to me, Babe,” and smiled. The morphine had been increased and he was drifting some. The plane was due back within two hours. I was told there wasn’t room for me on the plane – only two people and the gurney. It would take seven hours to drive and $800 to fly. I told Merlyn. He said he would put me in his pocket. I knew in my mind that I was going to be on that plane. The nurses called ahead to the plane in route and explained the situation. I believe they knew he would not live, but I still had not allowed that thought to come into my mind. I had realized that he would never use his hands again, but wouldn’t think any further. The nurse came to me and told me it had been arranged. I could go. It was really late – 11 or 12 p.m. when they came. Merlyn was taken by ambulance to the airport with a male R.N. and me on board. A small jet was waiting. The moon was full. My dress still smelled of smoke. The jet was the only plane there and the engine was running. It took such a long time to get him on. He was large. I couldn’t bear to watch. He was in such pain as they handled him. The mosquitos were enormous. I could feel them biting as I sat on the ground covered with plastic, staring at the full moon, dazed. The noise of the plane and wind from the jets – I was living a nightmare. I was finally called to board. Merlyn was moaning. The flight took one hour to the Van Nuys airport. I sat in silence listening to Merlyn and touching him. The pilot and co-pilot quipped at my back. The R.N. talked incessantly about this and that. I remember only Merlyn moaning and watching from the window the full moon that had always made me feel good but now would be a reminder of tragedy. Once at the airport, we were taken to the burn center at Sherman Oaks. As we drove to the burn center the town was asleep and unaware of the horror in my life and Merlyn’s pain. Our friends and my daughter were waiting for us. It must have been one a.m. We were all following to the closed doors and from there he went alone. I begged to go. I told them I had been with him all the time. Their reply was that they didn’t have time to care for me as if I couldn’t handle what was to be done to him.

Death Comes

In an hour or so the doctors came to the room where we were all waiting. They sat down hesitating to talk in front of everyone. I explained he belonged to more people than just me. He was an elder and was loved by many. They began to tell of the severity of his burns. Third degree over 90 percent of his body and some fourth degree burns. I immediately asked, “Is he going to die?” They paused saying, “We’d rather discuss that tomorrow.” But I wanted to know then because I knew they knew. I told them he was strong and had a good heart, very healthy. I was grasping for straws. They explained that a young athlete in perfect health would not survive a burn such as he had, that he would die. A long silence came. The only thing I remember was me saying, “Oh, pooh, I don’t want to be a widow.” It was out of my hands and at that time I gave all control over to God. I went home for a while to be called to come quickly, the end was near. The decision had been made by Merlyn and me long ago that we wouldn’t use life support systems for prolonging life when death was imminent. The doctors and friends helped me with the decisions. They would not let Linda and myself go into the room because of infection. I talked with the doctors and told them I could see no reason all our friends shouldn’t be in the room with him and it was too late to be concerned with germs. After a moment we all went to him and circled his bed. He was in a semi-coma but I knew he knew we were all there. I was told to be careful what I say because they felt he might understand what was being said and cause him concern. I knew he was suffering so and laboring to breath even with oxygen. The monitor was slower and slower. I whispered to him in his ear and told him to “turn loose, let go, to go on. I know you don’t want to leave me, but I’ll be fine. Let Jesus take you home.” Linda and I saw a little tear fall from the corner of his eye. She said, “Mom, I think he heard you.”

The monitor stopped. The sleep of death came. Dark fluid came from his mouth. I kissed him and covered his face. Everyone left the room. I asked to go back alone. Oh, what emptiness!

Strength In The Lord

Isn’t it wonderful when the Lord comes and carries our loved ones in His gentle arms to take them home? My Merlyn worked all his life to go where he is. He trusted God that He was able to do all that He had promised as Paul said in 2 Timothy 1:12: “for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.”

When Satan robs us, God will bless us again. Satan brings death into our lives and all kinds of evil. He tries at every corner to rob you of your soul. He attacks when you’re at your weakest, turning the fire higher under the crucible wanting you to doubt, lose heart, lose trust in the joys God has prepared for us. God wept when I wept. His heart was broken when Merlyn suffered. I was determined that Satan was not going to win this victory. I knew I had drawn my strength from Merlyn and that I could do no less. My children were watching and my grandchildren. My mom, my friends, they would be as strong as I would be. How would my God and my Merlyn want me to conduct myself?

Our influence as parents is stronger than we can fully understand. Our children begin to learn trust from the moment they are born. They are watching our every action and reaction to situations in life, in our trust in God’s ability to help us handle problems and tragedies with a peace of mind that only God can give if we but reach for it. If you are strong, they will be strong. If you are weak, they will be weak. We must show in our action that we do believe and trust in His promises that He will help us through that nothing lasts forever but eternity.

Perhaps you may ask, “What is the difference between faith and trust?” I saw this illustration, that is helpful. There was a man about to push a wheelbarrow on a rope across Niagara. Someone asked, “Do you believe that he can do it?” “Yes, I believe he can.” That’s faith! “Well, will you get into the wheel-barrow and let him push you across?” Now, that would be trust! This is what our trust in God should be – willing to get into the wheel-barrow and let God take us across.

Trusting God

I’ve wondered when I first began to trust in God. I realized that it first came from my parents. I’ve heard my mother tell of her mom dying at her feet when she was eleven years old, of being given out to different ones to raise her, of beatings, but she trusted. What a radiant lady she is! I watched my grandmother with nine children outlive her husband and all but two of her children. She trusted. My Dad was a tower of strength watching him as the deaths would occur, deeply pained, but steady and logical. I watched as my sister died at age four when I was eight and again I saw trust in God from my mom and dad. When I lost my first child of nine months the trust was there – not just from the example of my family, but now backed by my own knowledge of faith in God’s promises. Then the strength I gained when I was 23 and my Dad explained to me that he could die because of angina and very logically told me how I was to handle things and what I was to do. This showed me again the great trust he had in God’s plan. He died two years later. Above all, the strength from my Merlyn of 37 years was the greatest, and never wavered even in death. But when I look at this to think upon it and realize it doesn’t even touch the hem of the garment as to what Christ did for you and me – how He suffered – how pained His body was as it tore continually with the nails driven through His flesh – no morphine, no oxygen, no pain relievers. I have to look on beyond and from that I gain peace. In trust there is an element of risk but with faith the risk is taken out. God is in control. God is not the author of evil, but uses that which is evil to do good. God uses things that seem bad to us for the good of all of us if we allow it. It’s not so much what crisis comes into our lives but how we handle it – how we allow God’s will to work in us. God used Satan’s devices to cause Job’s faith to be stronger. Can we do less? What happens to your life has to be less important than what God’s purpose for it is – it must be for His glory (Isa. 55:9-8). We have the responsibility to trust Him as Job did (Job 13:15): “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.” We may not always understand but the object of our trust must be in Christ and His promises, not in men or earthly matters. God is always there, unmoveable and steadfast, as an example of how He wants us to be. God cannot change the crises that comes into our lives, but it can change us for God’s glory thereby not allowing Satan to win one more for himself. We must put the circumstances of our life, whether good or bad into His hands. I don’t always know how best to handle them, but God does. Let Him take control, trust Him. What a comfort to know that “if God be for us, who can be against us?” (Rom. 8:31; read 8:35-39)

God is a fact. On that we must rely. Approaching this from a Bible standpoint, everything starts with God. Faith rests on the fact of God. In times of real crisis, you don’t feel, you act. Feelings come from our emotions. We must trust the Lord to do what He promises in our life. We trusted Christ when we submitted our lives to Him through baptism. It was not that intellectual assent to His claims, but the action-backed step that goes forward by faith. With every decision in life we make comes responsibility for that decision (as in giving our life to Christ) and we are directed how we must conduct ourselves in all things. Trust is accepting His standard of conduct for my life regardless of the circumstances. I know that my God “is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us” (Eph. 3:20).

When I trust in God, I open my heart and life to His influence and control, turning to Him completely. As a little child will say, “Daddy can fix it. He can take care of it.” So we should have that trust in God that He can fix it. A little child trusts in his parents. When you say, “Jump into my arms,” the child jumps trusting you to catch him. This is what our trust in God should be – willing to jump into His arms and let Him hold us and mend our aching hearts and soothe our hurts. What a wonderful blessing we are missing when we turn into ourselves for comfort and not to God. Everyone has trials, problems, etc., obstacles to overcome, circumstances that seem to overwhelm us. We can choose to wallow in our own self pity, or we can get up and move on with a life of trust in God. The choice for our lives is up to us. We can let our past hurts weight us down like an anchor or we can let these guide like a rudder in the rough seas that come. Trust causes us to move ahead and be a rudder for others as well. God is in control of everything – even crises. God uses even the darts of Satan for our ultimate good. We, as His children, must trust Him even when the way seems dark, for God’s ways are perfect.

Let me tell you what trust is. It’s when you see your husband burning and you cry to God to help you do the right thing and you trust Him to do it. It’s when you see the flesh hanging from his body as you cut off all the remains of his clothes which is the neck band of a shirt and waist band of pants and trust God it will work out for His glory and trust God that He’ll give you strength. At that moment you become numb; something else takes over. You begin to do what has to be done as if you’ve been programmed. Hunger leaves your body; your desire for thirst is gone. Everything is put on hold.

It’s when you trust however it turns out it will still be for His glory and you will work God’s plan toward that end. Trust in God sustains us when we can’t see around the corner but know that God can. I trusted completely on God at this time. I knew in Him was my hope. I knew that He understood (Deut. 29:29). 1 knew that God sympathized with me. But He used Merlyn’s life, through his death, to do things that in his living would not have been done. As a result of this, I am stronger.

Strength Through Suffering

I have been made stronger by such Scriptures as 2 Corinthians 4:11-5:1. “. . that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh . . . we having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe and therefore speak; knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you. . . For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward men is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.”

Proverbs 16:3 also helped me: “Commit thy ways unto the Lord; and thy thought shall be established.” My thoughts of trust in God were established as I turned everything over to the Lord. All of us have different problems to face and different crucibles to go through. I may never knew the difficulties that may come into your life, but I can whole-heartedly urge you to put your trust in the Lord and to turn everything over to Him and He will keep you like He keeps me. Do not let Satan rob you of your salvation or of your joy. God will walk with you through the valleys into the bright light of His glory. I truly believe that Merlyn is in God’s beautiful presence. My trust is that 1, too, will be with Him some wonderful day. You can live above the depression that the devil wants to cast upon you. You can live in God’s glorious sunlight!

Said the Robin to the sparrow,
“I should really like to know
Why these anxious human beings
Rush around and worry so.”

Said the Sparrow to the Robin,
“Friend, I think that it must be
That they have no Heavenly Father,
Such as cares for you and me.”

— Elizabeth Cheney

Guardian of Truth XXXI: 3, pp. 80-83
February 5, 1987