Truth Magazine

Why me? What did I do wrong? Where do I go from here? Will I ever be the same?

On a given day, a chosen time, and a certain year, marriage between two people begins. At this moment in time neither plan on or can even fathom what happens next. The “next” can come in months or even years in this union, but it can come. Shock, disbelief, and anger fills the heart. Thoughts you never dreamed possible are ever present in your mind. Let’s deal with it as a Christian, with choices, feelings, and decisions.

Choices

Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” First, admit to yourself you are human. You cannot and should not expect yourself to deal with this alone. Look heavenward. Empty your very soul to God. Please stop this very moment and read Psalm 139 in its entirety. Who else knows you, except God? Lean on this knowledge — also lean on those that are like minded in Christ. Don’t shut yourself off from those that care. However, don’t look to them for decisions, but for the ability to help you cope and express yourself. If you find you cannot share your feelings, then diary them. Every day, or even in the middle of the night, write, “Dear Diary, I loved this person, I trusted this person, I believed in this person.” Why me? Pour out your thoughts to “Diary” and let it become a very personal communique. Write everything. Remember, there’s no one that hurts in the way that you do. Each one has to deal with his own hurt in a very personal way. Be human — looking to God.

Feelings

Don’t be disappointed with yourself for feeling anger. It’s natural to protect yourself and your feelings. The response is one that is mixed with questions of why, why, and why? How can this be? You feel beaten emotion- ally and abused physically. Go ahead, feel that way, but don’t “live” that way. When you do, you are not working through it, but to the contrary, you are letting the situation become a part of you. It can only burden you and become like a cancer that eats at your very soul. Don’t give that person the privilege of crushing you two ways. One by making your marriage and life together a lie, and two by setting the stage for you of a lifetime of despair. The first was not your choice, but the latter is! After sub- mitting to your human side, then start looking up and digging out. No one says it will be easy. Christ hung on the cross for us. That was not easy, but lifting our heart and soul heavenward is, for we know God hears our prayers. Reflect on 1 Peter 3:10, most especially verses 10-12. Humbling yourself and the admission to yourself and God that you are in need of help, is the beginning of the healing process. It all takes time.

Decisions

Where do I go from here? Only you can make that choice. Only you and God know what is in your heart and the directions you are leaning. Can your marriage be saved? Do I want to put back the pieces? Do I love this person enough to forgive and go on from here? If there are children involved, do I want to let go of selfish choices and give them a real home or have a “no matter come what may” attitude and make for “me” a life. If you are the hurting one and no children are involved and the sin of fornication is the reason, you have every right to put away and go on (Matt. 19). If there are children involved and you are the hurting one and your mate asks for forgiveness and shows remorse for his mistakes, then consider. You can forgive, forgetting is another matter. Don’t expect yourself to do that. Once you have forgiven and made the choice to unite once again as a family, then remember our Lord’s forgiveness of us. It is never brought up again. Forgiveness is acting like it never happened. Two ways to handle this. Prayer and more prayer. Also, that all important friend, your diary. You have got to believe in yourself and your purpose. Keeping your eye always on eternity (1 Cor. 15:58). Putting back what God hath joined together will not be in vain (1 Cor. 9:24-27). Ultimate purpose — ultimate gift.

Go back to Psalm 139 and reflect on God’s relation- ship with you and how he knows you. Reverse that and know God.

The very mention of this word often times sends chills down a person. In our society when we hear that some- one is addicted to something, or someone, it immediately brings to our minds certain words. Helplessness, lack of self-control. Webster even defines the word “addict” as such: “to give oneself up (to some strong habit) a per- son addicted to some habit, esp. to the use of a narcotic drug.”

My point is that this word often carries with it a negative meaning in our society. I believe that although it is true that some folks can and do become addicted to things that are harmful and that are certainly contrary to God’s teaching it is possible to be addicted to good things! By good things I mean something that is not wrong according to God’s holy word, something that violates no Bible principles. Yes I believe that if I want to be pleasing to God I had better be “addicted” to certain things.

Let me share with you some addictions all Christians need:

1. Study (2 Tim. 2:15). If I’m a Christian I better be addicted to the study of God’s word.

2. Prayer (1 Thess. 5:17). If I’m a Christian I better be addicted to prayer. I had better be talking to my God on a daily basis.

3. Truth (John 17:7). If I’m a Christian I better be addicted to the truth. It is truth that will set us free. “Thy word is truth.”

4. Self-control (Rom. 6:12). If I’m a Christian I better be addicted to controlling my flesh. I must not live after the flesh.

5. Souls of Others (Ezek. 3:18). If I’m a Christian I better be addicted to teaching others the gospel. For one day I will give an account of my love for or my lack of love for the souls of others.

Perhaps you can think of more things for which a Christian should be addicted. I believe you get the idea of what I am saying about the word addiction. It can and does carry with it a negative idea concerning some things in our society but I hope you can see the positive side of being addicted to certain things. Paul (1 Cor. 16:15) makes the following statement:

I beseech you, brethren, (ye know the house of Stephanas that it is the first fruits of Achaia, and that they have addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints (KJV).

This word addicted here is the Greek word tasso which means “have set themselves.” The NIV uses the word “devoted.” The American Standard uses the word “set.” They were addicted or devoted or set to the ministry of the saints. Are we?

Just think of the parallels that can be made between an addict in our society and their addiction, verses a Christian that is addicted to God.

1. Can’t live without it.

2. Must have it.

3. Need it.

4. The will and desire to do whatever it takes to be near or have that for which they are addicted.

5. The changes that an addiction can cause in one’s life.

Yes if you’re a Christian, I hope you are addicted to Jesus and his word. If you are not, let me be the first to tell you just what you are missing.

There is no high that can take you higher than Jesus! There is no drink that can pick you up or do as much for you, like drinking from God’s holy word! Are you addicted to the gospel? If not, open up the Bible and read for yourself about the love God has for you and the provisions he’s made that you and I might have eternal life. Just remember being addicted to God is not only good for your body but it’s good for your soul too. Yes, like all addictions it’s going to cost you. But don’t all addictions.

By Tim Haile

Does it really matter how we worship God? Some say no, but what does the Bible say? “God is a Spirit: and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth” (John 4:24). This verse tells us that worship is pre- scribed. That is, God has told us both what to do and how to do it. We must do what (“in truth”) God says to do, in the way (“in spirit”) that he said to do it! Men are not at liberty to just make up their own form of worship. In the area of religious service, God is not pleased with human ingenuity (Prov. 3:5-6; Jer. 10:23); he is pleased with human obedience (1 Sam. 15:22-23).

When it comes to our worship to God, we must cultivate a genuine desire to please God, and discipline ourselves to put God’s desires ahead of our own.

Almighty God Is the Object Of Our Praise

It is sinful when a person fails to properly honor God as his Creator. This sin preceded many others in a great list enumerated in Romans chapter one (Rom. 1:21, 25). For the most part, the Gentile peoples had abandoned and rejected the very God who had created and sustained them (Acts 14:17; 17:24-28). These sinners fabricated gods (idols) that would approve of their own sinful attitudes and actions. These idols were “dumb” (1 Cor. 12:2). They were incapable of even communicating with their misguided servants, much less doing anything for them. Isaiah 44:9-20 provides an excellent expose on the folly of idolatry. This type of outright idolatry is rare in our day, but is it possible that some people fail to give God the glory that he rightly deserves? I am afraid so.

People who do not appreciate the value of the object of their worship are not inclined to exercise great care in their worship. Those who know the Bible understand that God alone is worthy to receive our honor (John 4:24). When John fell down to worship an angel, the angel told him, “Do not! I am your fellow slave, and of your brothers who hold the testimony of Jesus. Worship God” (Rev. 19:10). When the crowds at Lystra attempted to worship Paul and Barnabas, Paul told them, “Men, why are you doing these things? We also are human beings like you in every way . . .” (Acts 14:15). True worship is rendered, not to men and angels, but to the living God who made all things. We worship the God who loved us (John 3:16), the God who died for us (Acts 20:28; John

15:13), and the God who teaches us (1 Cor. 2:13). This God is ever present, all-powerful, and all wise. True worshipers are strongly motivated to “give glory” to their God by “continually offering up the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of their lips, confessing His name” (Luke 17:18; Heb. 13:15).

Does It Matter How We Approach God In Our Worship?

It is certainly possible for a person to worship God unscripturally. That is, either his attitude or his actions are wrong when he attempts to per- form his worship. Several examples could be cited. Cain’s “works were evil” in the worship that he offered unto God (1 John 3:12; Gen. 4:3). God killed Nadab and Abihu because they “offered strange fire before the Lord, which he commanded them not” (Lev. 10:1-2). Their actions constituted a corruption in worship. The same was true of the people in Malachi’s day. The people had “robbed God of tithes and offerings” (Mal. 3:8). He said they offered polluted bread and sick animals in their sacrifices to God, and that even their Governor would not be happy with that type of sacrifice (Mal. 1:8). What type of sacrifice do we offer when we approach God? Are there any signs that may suggest that our attitude or actions are wrong? Let us consider a couple of areas that may help us conduct a proper examination of ourselves (2 Cor. 13:5).

How We Behave During Worship

Worship is serious business, but I have attended places where the worship assembly was more like a community action meeting than a worship service. Rather than listen, concentrate, and participate, people would talk during prayers and singing. With some churches, members are so careless with their trash that the seats and floor of the auditorium will look like many movie theaters following worship services. Do some people forget that “all things are laid bare and exposed to the eyes of him with whom we must reckon” (Heb. 4:13)? God watches us in our worship assemblies. After punishing Aaron’s sons for their religious negligence, God told Aaron, “I will be sanctified in them that come nigh to me” (Lev. 10:3). This strong statement indicates that God does indeed care how we approach him in our worship.

How We Dress for Worship

Have you ever participated in a worship service in which the man who made the comments for the Lord’s supper, admonishing us to remember the sacrificial death of our divine Savior, was himself wearing a Goofy T-shirt? Please don’t get excited or upset. We are not suggesting any type of worship dress code, but we are suggesting that those who come “nigh unto God” to honor him, should understand the relative importance of such an occasion, and they should dress for that occasion. When Christians wear the same slouchy clothes to worship services that they might wear to a ball game or to a family outing, they say that their attitude towards the one event, differs in no way from the other!

Please consider the following principles from the Old and New Testaments. We do not appeal to these passages in an effort to establish a standard or dress code, but these examples do set forth basic principles about putting God first in all that we do, including what we wear in worship.

How would you dress if you were going for an interview with the Governor (Mal. 1:8)? Isn’t one much greater than the Governor with us when we gather for worship (Matt. 18:20)?

The Levitical priests were not to wear common clothes when ad- ministering their duties (Exod. 28). Christians are a “kingdom of priests before God” (Rev. 1:6).

The church is the bride of Christ (2 Cor. 11:2). Do you generally wear the same kind of clothes to a ball game that you would wear to a wed- ding? What do you wear to church services?

The Lord’s supper is a memorial supper designed by God for Christians to commemorate the death of Jesus on the cross (1 Cor. 11:23-29). Funerals are memorial services for the purpose of remembering and honoring the dead. How do you generally dress when attending a funeral service?

Should we be careful about what we wear to worship services? At the very least we can say that one should not have an apathetic, lackadaisical attitude about what he wears as he presumes to approach the God of heaven and earth, to worship him.

When We Arrive at Worship

Is it appropriate for people to consistently show up late for worship services? We know that it is sinful to forsake the assembly (Heb. 10:25), but is there anything wrong with partially missing the assembly? In order to have an assembly people must have agreed upon certain assembly terms. Of necessity, there must be a certain time and a certain place. These two factors are essential. These terms are accepted by persons who follow the approved apostolic example of joining a local church for the purpose of corporate work, study, and worship (Acts 9:26; 11:26). Let us understand that such local church assemblies are God’s way for his people to fulfill these duties (Acts 20:7; 1 Cor. 14:26; Acts 2:42). Willful negligence in failing to respect the meeting times and place of the local church constitutes disobedience to God.

Let us not think of church services in the same way we do a movie. It may be somewhat annoying to some people, but arriving at the movie a little late is not a sin. Willfully and consistently arriving at church services late reflects disinterest and apathy. It certainly shows that we have failed to “seek first the kingdom of God” as Matthew 6:33 teaches. It also suggests that we do not “love the Lord   . . . with all of our heart, soul, and mind” (Matt. 22:37). We have allowed something else to take God’s place.

For the Christian, worship to God is both a privilege and a responsibility. It provides us with a means of both thanking and praising the sovereign God of the universe. Let us therefore “come boldly unto the throne of grace” and serve God with diligence and zeal. Let us never be characterized by laziness and carelessness, for it is this attitude that will cause God to “vomit us out of His mouth” (Rev. 3:16). Neither let us be characterized by the rebellious spirit of Jeroboam that would allow us to set up our own golden calves of corrupt worship (1 Kings 12:28). Let us strive to be true worshipers, worshiping God in “spirit and in truth.”

First we were treated to a dose of “values clarification” which, like all such deceitful terms, really means just the opposite: “values confusion,“ or “values substitution. ”They have succeeded in making many believe that they have clarified something, when in reality their devotees are now confused over what is of value and what is not. The proponents of so-called “values clarification” have succeeded in great part in getting their values substituted for the values which our founding fathers used to form this nation. The only thing that the ungodly have clarified is their determination to destroy the values of others.

Now, we are being treated to a different medicine of “smooth and fair speech,” and, like the previous one, it also is deceitful. (What can you expect from those who are servants of the Father of lies? — John 8:44) The American Psychological Association has come out with an article, in defense of consensual sex between adults and children, in which we are told that we should use “value-free” terms. We are told that we should abandon such terms as “child abuse,” “molestation,” and “victims,” in our discussion of pedophilia, when the cases are about consensual sex, and should discuss the issue with “value-free” terms!

First the purveyors of ungodliness confused and substituted values, and now they are trying to abolish them altogether! In other words, we should not speak of any sin as being sinful! Anything that man wants to do should be spoken of in euphemistic lingo! How convenient!

The Nor th American Man-Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) says: “Sex does not pose the danger to minors claimed by police, prosecutors and prudes crusading against man/boy love.” (Note how deceitfully the statement switches from “sex” to “love”! No one is crusading against a man loving a boy, but against a man having sex with a boy. However, isn’t “love” a value?) As to values, is not the above quote a statement of the value (to the pedophile) of consensual man/boy sex? (He considers it of great value!) When the pedophile calls others “crusading prudes,” is he using a “value-free” term? The ungodly want everyone else to use “value-free” terms, but they are exempt from their own law; they refer to us as “crusading prudes.” Couldn’t they find a term, with which to refer to us, without using one that puts a bad value on us? They can have their values, but others cannot!

Don’t let euphemistic terms deceive you! Fornication is still fornication, even though the self-styled intellectuals call it “consensual sex.” Why not call murder “specialized elimination,” or stealing, “personalized acquisition and appropriation”? (After all, the bank robber simply has an “alternate lifestyle” in directing his economics!) Would these “value-free” terms make these sins acceptable? Would cow manure smell better if we called it “bovine excreta”? Whom do they think they are kidding with their call for “value-free” terms? Well, they are kidding untold numbers of people, those who are not thinking for themselves! That’s why the Holy Spirit through the apostle Paul wrote Romans 16:18.

When I was a young preacher, an old-timer told me: “Of what the false teacher accuses you, he himself is guilty.” How true, how true! The “value-free” advocate will try to press his values on you! He will criticize you for “criticizing,” judge you for “judging,” won’t tolerate your “intolerance,” will put you down for not recognizing everyone’s “self-esteem,” and is absolutely sure that there are “no absolutes.” Just remember this, all you crusading prudes!