Truth Magazine

By Phil T. Arnold

I was surprisingly pleased to see the cover story of an issue of Newsweek magazine (May 12, 1997) entitled, “The Myth of Quality Time: How We’re Cheating Our Kids, What You Can Do.” Much of what it contains drives home the simple and obvious point  children and the home are a “full-time” job. Laura Shapiro, the author of the main article, writes, “Kids don’t do meetings. You can’t raise them in short, scheduled bursts. They need lots of attention, and experts warn that working parents may be shortchanging them.”

Two-career families and workaholic fathers of the seventies often felt tinges of guilt over the breakup of the nuclear home and sought for salve to soothe the stinging of their conscience. As usual, “experts” theorized a “better (?) way” to justify the abandonment of the home for the business world. The motto became “Quality Time.” The theory being that it doesn’t really matter how much time you spend with your kids, it’s how you spend the time. Arlie

Hochschild, author of The lime Bind, writes, “Instead of nine hours a day with a child, we declare ourselves capable of getting the ‘same result’ with one, more intensely focused, total quality hour.” The real result being a greater number of depressed, rebellious children lacking in the self-esteem “that comes from knowing your parents are really interested in you, really behind you,” says Ronald Levant, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School. Levant goes on to say, “I think quality time is just a way of deluding ourselves into shortchanging our children. Children need vast amounts of parental time and attention. It’s an illusion to think they’re going to be on your timetable, and that you can say ‘OK, we’ve got a half hour, let’s get on with it.’ Whenever time with children is in short supply, calling it “Quality Time” may make parents feel better but the results can still be devastating. Child psychologists are seeing more disturbed children. Teachers are reporting increases in discipline problems and class-room disruptions. “No wonder…” those “who work with children would like to get rid of the whole idea of quality time,” Shapiro writes.

The problem does not solely lie with “working mothers” but is aggravated by fathers caught up in the demands of a business world that may publicly project itself as family friendly, but privately “passes over” and frowns upon any-one who would dare place family above firm. Studies “clearly indicate that children whose fathers are thoroughly involved in their care do better socially and cognitively than kids whose fathers play a more marginal role.” The idea that “children are woman’s work” is another myth that needs to be exploded and is by observing the directives of God’s word (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21). Another misconception is that this time element is really only applicable to the newborn and toddler. While it is extremely important to get off to a good start (Prov. 22:6), kids do not shed their need for pa-rental “time” when they progress into adolescence and enter the teen years. In fact, the demands for parental time may become even more critical as they begin making what may well be “lifetime” choices.

What are some solutions to this problem of “time” and the home? Well, first of all, let us acknowledge that he who created us knows us best and knows what is best for us. Our culture, our career, and the cash do not alter the fact that our Father knows best (Isa. 55:8-9). We will never find a better way for ourselves and our families than the way prescribed by God. In his infinite wisdom, God has designed that women be “keepers of the home” (Tit. 2:5; 1 Tim. 5:14). This is not to say that it sinful for a woman to work outside the home, but it does often challenge her to remember what is to be her primary role  a homemaker. Men are to be the providers for the home. “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5:8). The man who is seeking a wife because “two incomes are better than one” or who believes that his wife should “pull her own weight by getting a job” is sadly out of step with the word of God. If you are not yet married, let God’s plan be your plan and make this your goal. If you are married, make conforming to this pattern your priority to have the home as designed by God.

Secondly, we must always realize that “one’s life does not consist in the abundance of things he possesses” (Luke 12:14). I was also pleasingly astounded to see in the Newsweek articles quoted above that one proposed solution was simply to learn to live on less and adopt a more modest lifestyle. One couple even proposed selling their home and stepping down to a less expensive home in order to have more “quantity time” for the family. What a revolutionary idea! Learn to live within your means? How un-American! I realize that each family’s circumstances and choices vary. We would not propose to set ourselves up as either the judge or the standard. Yet, the lesson is obvious. The soul of a child (not to mention your own) is worth more than all the things that a “career” can bring (Matt. 16:26). For those still establishing their “lifestyles” and planning their families, set your goal to live on one in-come. For others, the choices may not be easy. It is always easier to move up in this world than move down. But realize that less will actually mean more  more time with family, more of a relationship that really matters, and more of an influence that can last beyond time. For some, the choices will be few because of the personal circumstance over which no one else should attempt to be judge. Pray to God for his providence that if possible your circumstance might change and for the wisdom that we all need to use whatever time we have wisely (Jas. 1:5; Eph. 3:15-17).

Guardian of Truth XLI: 18 p. 16-17
September 18, 1997

By Donnie V. Rader

Influence is defined as, “a power indirectly or intangibly affecting a person or a course of events” (American Heritage Dictionary, 660). We all have influence and we all are influenced. In the most notable sermon that Jesus preached in Galilee, he spoke of the influence that Christians would have on the world as light and salt. Jesus, thinking that influence to be powerful, said, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matt. 5:16).

It stands to reason that if we, the people of God, have an influence on the world, the world is likely to have an influence on us. Paul warned of the same, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind …” (Rom. 12:3).

It is also true that Christians have influence on one an-other. The diligent have an impact on those who could do better (1 Tim. 4:12). The life of those who slip into sin works like leaven (1 Cor. 5:1-6). Their influence, though subtle, could permeate the whole church.

Those who have the greatest impact are those that are most like us. 1 Corinthians 5 establishes that point. The vile and wicked drug addict is not as likely to influence us as some seemingly strong Christian who sees nothing wrong with it and suggests that you are being petty for questioning it.

Let’s consider some things that influence our thinking and change our lives.

1. What becomes accepted in the world can, in time, become “norm” for us too. Little by little what the world thinks to be okay can eventually infiltrate our minds. At first we may consider the rest of the world as being careless and loose with God’s word. However, as time goes on, we think more and more like they do. Consider how we have come to accept what the world would have “condemned” years be-fore: women in the workforce, divorce, wearing short and tight clothes, R-rated movies, etc. That is not to say that allthat is accepted in the world and then by us is necessarily wrong. At times, it may simply involve custom or tradition. I’m simply pointing to the power of influence.

However, I’m fearful what those in my grandchildren’s day may accept. What the world accepts now, God’s people could easily begin to accept in the future. For evidence of how this works consider how the natives of the land of Canaan turned God’s people toward evil (see the book of Ezra). It happens little by little. We become accustomed to the ideas of the world. Whether we agree or not, we become used to the idea that “that’s what everyone is doing.” So in time, we are “desensitized” enough that we think it is okay for us too.

2. What we see at home. Most of us would admit that at least in part we are what we are today because of what our parents did or did not do in our training. This is true even in things that do not involve right or wrong. More and more I find myself doing things that I remember my parents doing. More and more I see that I judge things based on how I was raised. My point is our home life has a powerful impact on the rest of our lives (Prov. 22:6).

We can be influencing our children to gradually drift and become looser in their thinking by the little things we do or allow. Do you ever think that in the future your children may base their determination of what is right or wrong upon what you, as a parent, allowed them to do as a child? A child that is allowed to miss services for a ball game or to stay home because some in the family are tired will re-member that as he gets older. That child may later reason “What’s the difference in missing for a ball game and going fishing?” You see, with every move we make we are building a “value system” into our children that will guide them in the future. Don’t forget, that those we teach (especially our children) may carry the principles they learn from us further than we had in mind. Now be honest. Have you ever “justified” something in your own mind thinking, “When I was a child we used to ___________ and we didn’t think anything about it. What is the difference in ____________ and doing _________ ?” If you reason that way, don’t kid yourself thinking your children will not do the same.

3. We are affected by those with whom we associate. Paul said, “Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals” (1 Cor. 15:33, ASV). Though usually quoted to say we need to watch who are friends are, the context is talking of false teachers. Listening to those who issue uncertain sounds can corrupt our lives. Paul’s warning is that we can be influenced by them. Sometimes people drift as much because of what they have not heard as they do from what they have heard.

It is not just preachers and teachers that influence us. Other “Christians” whose thinking differs from our own can change us and our children. We are now facing ideas and concepts that indicate that a parting of ways among brethren is coming. It is obvious that there are two mind sets. Those with a looser, more tolerate attitude could have an influence on us and our children as our ear is bent to their voice.

The problem with influence is that by the time we realize the impact it has had, it may be too late.

Guardian of Truth XLI: 18 p. 18-19
September 18, 1997

By Larry Ray Hafley

Tulips of spring time birth,

Oysters along gulf shores,

Are products, not of earth,

But of heavenly stores.

Grains of Sahara’s sands,

Moss sunning in Arctic cold,

Born not by human hands,

‘Ms God’s creation told!

The rocky mountain’s peak,

The forest’s canopy,

Both to us boldly speak

Of the Lord’s nursery.

Gazing with awe-struck stares

We bear what nature declares!

Guardian of Truth XLI: 18 p. 9
September 18, 1997

By James Boyd

Let me speak of some hard realities. Second Timothy 4:3, 4, “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.” Acts 20:29, 30, “For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock. Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to therefore, draw away disciples after them.” 1 John 4:1, “Beloved, criticize their error. They use believe not every spirit, but many methods to do this, which try the spirits whether they be of God: because many false prophets are gone out surest into the world.”

To contend that there are show from the Scripture that false teachers that have what they are teaching is true, arisen among us is an understatement. We hear the false doctrines of grace only, instrumental music, premillennialism, denial of the identity of the church and kingdom, Christians in all denominations, perversions of the teaching of baptism, theistic evolution, women preachers, a “new hermeneutic,” there is no pattern to follow, and so on. We are told that these changes are coming and there is nothing we can do about it. So confident and arrogant are the heretics.

But why should they be among us? They are not of us. They usually go out from us, but today they seek to stay with us and do their dirty work of destruction. God has provided the way to send them out by discipline. Why allow them to remain? Why use them? Why make it appear they do no harm? It is a lack of love for truth that they are permitted to remain among us. False teachers are not guiltless and neither are those who fellowship them. Many act as if Scripture were never written that forbids fellowship with them (Eph. 5:11), forbids bidding them God-speed (2 John 9-11), calls for marking them and avoiding them (Rom. 16:17), withdrawing from them (2 Thess. 3:6), and accepting the anathema Paul pronounced against such as they are (Gal. 1:6-9). For these false teachers to make headway they must silence the voices of those who con-tend for the faith and, therefore, criticize their error. They use many methods to do this, which will be the burden of my remarks. The easiest and surest way to silence us would be to show from the Scripture that what they are teaching is true, and the criticisms we make are false. But they will not do that. They cannot, but run in fear from having what they teach and practice examined in the light of what the Bible teaches. It is neither overly critical nor an overstatement to say that truth no longer means anything to them. They are usually obsessed with the world’s “scholarship,” denominations, subjective feelings, and their own self-appointed superiority.

But they are gaining much ground through such extravaganzas as Jubilee, the Tulsa Workshop, similar events in various places, youth rallies, books, papers, the schools (the Bible Departments), and general subversion of churches where they can gain control.

The Cry For Love

They make their appeal through what they call “love,” calling for “unity,” as if they were the first angels of light to consider the words. We have no objections but support love and unity. But not the perverted “love and unity” for which they clamor. What do they love? Where is love for truth? Where is love for those who love and defend truth? Their love is for error and self.

Unity? What do they call unity? And at what price? Shall we compromise truth and agree to disagree and call that the unity for which Christ prayed? They do not seek unity, but they want fellowship in spite of division. They call it “unity in diversity.” Unity must be founded on truth and agreement with the truth (Amos 3:3; 1 Cor. 1:10). They lie when they say they do not want to change doctrine, but only attitudes. Their arrogant attitudes remain the same. It is the doctrine they are changing to accommodate the sinful world, perverting the gospel of Christ, making fair speeches subverting whole houses, practicing deception and dishonesty, and being abusive beyond imagination of those who do not bow to their ways. They march to the drum-beat of human wisdom, denominational error and their emotions and feelings, with a “do your own thing” religion of theft own making.

Intimidation Attempted

This is a persistent weapon in their arsenal. They affirm a superior intellect. They have their scholars’ seminars, having learned their heresy at the feet of unbelievers. (Thatis the way to become a real scholar.) They deny biblical teaching and adopt human philosophies and theories. No faithful brother of the past is considered a real “scholar.” They parade their arbitrarily determined degrees as if that made them somewhat. We wonder where was wisdom and knowledge before their day?

They answer critics, “You are not qualified to question me,” or, “Where did you get your Ph.D.?” Some people could strut sitting down.

While they profess a greater “spirituality” than the lowly faithful Christian, they claim discerning between right and wrong is to judge. But they do it! They say we are not in the line thawing business. But shall we not respect the lines God has drawn? When we do, we are not sinfully judging but judging righteous judgment (John 7:24). How loudly they criticize criticism if the criticism is directed toward their false doctrines.

They Say Come Personally And Privately First

They would silence their opposition by contending their opponents must fast come to them personally before any criticism can be made. It matters not to them that they are propagating theft heresy openly, loudly, and publicly. But if you object, you must go into their corner to speak with them before refuting it. That is a false doctrine. They pervert and misuse Matthew 18: 15-17 for such a stand. That passage deals with personal matters. When one teaches publicly false doctrine, that is not a personal matter. That is a matter of truth versus error, and that is the business of brethren everywhere.

I have dealt with many liberals personally and privately, but they lie. They will say one thing privately, and then publicly continue their false doctrines. But they do not practice their own doctrine. They will openly castigate their opponents without ever contacting them first about it. They, being liberals, permit themselves a double standard. They make their tirades against the church and faithful brethren openly and publicly. Indeed, the legs of the lame are unequal. They are a double minded people, and dishonest to the core.

Do you criticize Catholic doctrines? Have you first gone to the pope? Do you oppose Mormon doctrines? When are you going to Salt Lake City? Such trash they speak!

Blame The Division On The Faithful

Division exists and is growing. But the cause is error and those who teach it. We were united and prospering until liberals became malcontent with truth and began their vicious devouring against faithful brethren who contend for the faith once delivered. But, like Ahab did Elijah, they blame God’s people for the strife. They whine, “You are going to drive people away.” This is like the complaint made against Jesus in John 6. But he did not change his doctrine to suit the whiners. False doctrine is what causes division, not standing for the truth as revealed in Scripture. They do not recognize who the real troublers of Israel are.

Straw Men

By “straw men” we mean fake and pretended issues and positions that never really existed, and then the “courageous” destruction of those “men.” For instance, liberals will accuse the church of driving people to incest, as was done on the DLU Lectureship by Gayle Napier. Shelly accused the church of teaching people they can and do work their way to heaven. The church is accused of making women second class citizens because the church teaches God’s word on the role of women in the church. They love to parade what they consider to be the shortcomings and failings of some brethren and with a wide brush paint everybody that same color. But the truth is, they lie, and do so knowingly. Their conscience is so seared they have no respect for right and wrong unless it advances their agenda. What they really want is to displace God’s will with their own. Because some elders fail and are even bad, they pro-pose to invalidate the governmental organization of the church. Because some preachers are immoral, they conclude all are that way. Because everybody does not do everything they ought to do, they conclude everybody is a hypocrite. Because some have tired of the Lord’s pattern for worship, they inject a “religious Hee Haw” instead. What they cannot understand is that human failure and weaknesses do not justify changing God’s law. Because some do not sing well does not mean we should let some “professional” chorus do the singing and everybody else listen, then applaud. (To be continued in the next issue.)

Reprinted with permission from Knight Arnold News, 4400 Knight Arnold Rd., Memphis, Tennessee 38118-2948

Guardian of Truth XLI: 18 p. 1