Truth Magazine

Dear Brother and Sister,

I am having a terrible time getting this letter started and just don’t know quite how to begin, because it deals with a subject which I have had to deal with twice in my life and have learned to detest. When I hear of others who are about to get a divorce, a heavy feeling of sadness weighs me down. I have never written others about these feelings but I am compelled to write you as I have always seen both of you as very beautiful people and I love you both. I don’t want you or your families to experience what I and my family have gone through and continue to go through because of my divorce.

I am sure that you have been counseled by others who have discussed this from a religious stand point. You are aware of what God has said on this subject. I have probably listened to every argument that man has to offer on the subject of divorce and remarriage. From one extreme to the other. After the dust settles on all the excuses, reasons, and arguments for divorce I come back to a passage in Malachi 2:16. “For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the LORD of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” It doesn’t get any plainer. God hates divorce and those who get divorces deal treacherously with one another and God. From experience I have learned that we continue with our wants and feelings and let them dictate what we will do in-stead of doing what God wants us to do. We want to do what is right in our own eyes. Solomon addresses this problem in Proverbs 3:7. “Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.” And again in Proverbs 12:15. “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” I beg you to listen to his counsel. You cannot fight God and expect to win in this life or the life after.

Brother, if I may, let me tell you a little about what my life has been like without living with my son. My son has grown up without a father. On the surface, this doesn’t mean much, but when I consider that a child has every right to expect his father to be there in the home as he grows up, it becomes a tragedy for both of us. I wasn’t there to help him when he had a problem. I wasn’t there to play ball with him or work on his bicycle. We are not together enough to enjoy hobbies or just to take a walk together and talk about the joys of life or the problems of life. I wasn’t there to teach him about family and show him how a husband and wife ought to be. I wasn’t there when he needed to sit in my lap and be held. I wasn’t there every night to say prayers with him and kiss him good night and to let him know that he was loved and that everything would be alright. I wasn’t there to enjoy the simple things like helping him with his home work or doing the dishes together or help him clean up his room. I wasn’t there to cheer him on at his soccer games. I wasn’t there to talk to him before he went out on his first date. And most of all, I wasn’t there to see to it that he grew up in a Christian home. My son never had a chance to be a kid. He grew up being the man of the house. Sometimes when I think about what he and I have missed, it is hard to hold back the tears. And speaking of tears, when I returned my son to his mother after having him for the weekend, he would cry and cry. Even now that he is nearly grown, when we part there will be a tear in both of our eyes.

My son and I didn’t choose the relationship that we had as it was forced on us. Brother, I understand that you have filed for a divorce. If that is the case, than you have the power to decide the relationship that you and your daughter will have. You have the power to choose to take from her what belongs to her. You can choose to take from her the right to have two loving parents to grow up with her. You can choose to be the cause of the tears that will be in her eyes.

To both of you I would like to offer the following for your consideration: At this stage of your marriage either one or both of you are probably saying that ” I just don’t love him or her anymore.”

To this I have learned to respond by saying, that you do not have the right to make the decision to not love one an-other. You made a covenant between each other and the Lord to love one another through good times and bad. So you are having a bad time. So love each other anyway. You say you can not. I say you must and can. We often forget what love is all about. Love is not something that appears all on its own. Please read God’s definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. All of those things listed in those verses takes effort on the part of the one that loves. They are things that re-quire us to work at and if necessary to change our way of thinking. Ask yourself this question after reading the above scripture! Have I worked at doing all of these things? I pray that you would work at leaning to love each other. Put your efforts into building love instead of putting your efforts into tearing it down.

If you steal a man’s goods and later have remorse for your theft, you can go to that man and restore his goods and make him whole again.

But when you take from your daughter the right to have two loving parents and she grows up without one of you, how will you make amends to her? Can you give those years back to her?

Brother. If you break your promises to Sister and divorce her and in later years understand that you wronged the bride of your youth, how will you right the wrong you have done? Can you take those years of misery back and start over again? Can you take away the tears that you caused to flow from the one that you promised to have and to hold, to love and to cherish?

Sister. If you are not willing to keep your promises to Brother  and in later years come to the knowledge that you have wronged the husband of your youth, how can you make him whole again? Can you give back the love you withheld? How can you give back time?

Both of you are on the brink of opportunity. You have the opportunity to spit on your commitment to each other and cause pain for your God, yourselves, your daughter, your family and all those that love you. Or, you can decide to put your house in order and to be what you ought to be to each other. You can learn to love each other again and be the example to others. You can grow old in each other’s arms.

I pray at this point you would ask the question, how do we start to rebuild? My answer would be to quote Solomon in Proverbs 1:7. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Listen to God’s instructions and seek counsel from righteous men.

Pray together. If I can help you in any way, please give me a call. I love you both and will be praying for you.

Your brother,

Name Withheld

Guardian of Truth XL: No. 21, p. 1
November 7, 1996

A little girl strolled into Bible class on Sun-day morning. Her hands were dirty, dress soiled, and there was a curious dirty ring around her mouth. Her teacher asked how she had gotten so dirty so early in the morning. She explained that on her way to Bible class a neighbor boy asked her to blow up his wading pool. She blew and blew until she had enough air to make the rubber wall stand up. The boy picked up the water hose and started filling the pool. The little girl then asked why he did not go to Bible class with her. He told her, “Because I am gonna play in my pool!” Then with her pretty blue eyes looking straight toward the teacher, the little girl said, “I pulled the stopper out of the air hole and let the air out so the pool would go down because if the little boy did not come to Bible class with me I did not want God to blame me for it.”

The Blythe Banner

Guardian of Truth XL: No. 20, p. 13
October 17, 1996

By Tommy Glendol McClure

The Hebrew writer warned those to whom he wrote about the deceitfulness of sin when he said: “But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:13). Involvement in sin deceives its victims. It hardens the heart and can result in a heart that cannot or may be very difficult to penetrate.

Just think of the alcoholic  there had to be the first drink. The drug addict  there had to be the first “hit.” And, the chronic gambler  there had to be the first bet! All victims of such sins were deceived by it. If you ask anyone who has been deceived by these sins, they would quickly admit (if they are honest) that they gave no thought to the consequences of their actions (Gen. 3:1-23). What will sin do?

It Will Take You Farther Than You Wanted Or Intended to Go

The first drink of alcohol, the first “high,” the first bet, is as far as many planned to go! But all who end up as chronic alcoholics, drug addicts, and chronic gamblers had to take that first step. Involvement in one sin often leads to involvement in other sins and usually comes in a pack-aged deal (2 Sam. 11 and 12).

It Will Keep You Longer Than You Wanted to Stay

Those who fall victim are blinded by the pleasure of the first drink, the first high or the first win (Heb. 11:25). It gave them so much pleasure the first time that they are sucked into going after it again and again and again. Many think, “just one more time won’t hurt.” They only intended to drink alcohol to be social, or smoke marijuana socially, or to place a bet just “once in a while,” then find them-selves entangled and overcome by it (2 Pet. 2:20).

It Will Cost You More Than You Wanted to Pay

Many never consider the consequences of their sinful actions? How many alcoholics planned on killing an innocent person with a motor vehicle? How many drug addicts planned on contacting AIDS or stealing to sup-port their habit? How many gamblers considered the real losses that are the result of gambling? How many considered the physical pain, mental suffering, wrecked marriages, neglected children, broken homes and lives that are destroyed by their involvement in such sinful activities. Most importantly, how many consider the fact that their souls will be lost (Acts 5:1-10)?

Conclusion

Some might think “that this can’t happen to me . . . I’m a good Christian and I don’t take part in such!” But what about “Christians” who smoke, dance, engage in social drinking, or look at pornographic material? What about those who dabble in the lottery? What about those who dress immodestly not giving a thought that they can cause someone to lust? What about those who are involved in adultery and fornication, abortion, religious error and compromise, etc.? (See Gal. 5:19-21) Can these take you farther than you wanted or intended to go, keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and cost you more than you wanted to pay? Yes! And, they can cost you your soul! Heed the words of the Psalmist who wrote: “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night” (Ps. 1:1, 2). Let us also heed the words of truth spoken by Solomon who wrote: “Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away” (Prov. 4:14, 15). Brethren, “Be not deceived” (1 Cor. 6:9-10).

Guardian of Truth XL: No. 20, p. 15
October 17, 1996

By Steven J. Wallace

Many churches go through setbacks from time to time. It is factual that churches of Christ can dwindle if they cannot endure setbacks. In order to endure setbacks, the Lord’s people must have an attitude of desiring the word of God more than they have in the past.

Setbacks are nothing new to the Lord’s people. Israel was set back when they wanted to worship God through a golden calf (Exod. 32). Three thousand men of Israel fell by the sword as a result of this rebellion. Israel was set back when Miriam and Aaron strove against Moses over preeminence (Num. 12). The Scripture states, “So Miriam was shut out of the camp seven days, and the people did not journey till Miriam was brought in again” (Num. 12:15). Israel’s progress was on hold.

Israel was set back when eight of the ten spies defected and gave a faithless report of the promised land (Num. 13-14). Upon hearing this report, Israel refused to go into their inheritance. Consequently, God pronounced, “they certainly shall not see the land of which I swore to their fathers, nor shall any of those who rejected Me see it” (Num. 14:23). This particular generation of people did not enter the promised land because of infidelity (v. 33). Consequently, this set Israel back for forty years (v. 34). During the period of the judges, Israel was set back to nearly being destroyed because they did what was right in their own eyes and did not know or obey the voice of God (Judg. 2:10; 21:25).

In the judgment, people will be set back permanently to burn in the fires of hell for this same reason. The apostle Paul wrote, “in flaming fire taking vengeance on those who do not know God, and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.” These shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of His power” (2 Thess. 1:8-9). In the days of Samuel, Israel was set back again because they wanted a king “like all the nations” rather than one who had a likeness of their God (1 Sam. 8:20). Israel was rejecting God as their king. God said, “Heed the voice of the people in all that they say to you; for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them” (1 Sam. 8:7). The nations who Israel wanted to be so much like, nearly destroyed them under King Saul’s rule. Though Saul started out well in ruling over God’s kingdom, he ended up as a slave in Satan’s domain. He was not a king after God’s own heart, and unfortunately, he represented many of the hearts of Israel. Throughout Israelite history there were setbacks, but through the mercy of God and the strength of some devout men and women, Israel moved on.

Here are three foreseeable ways in which the church is set back from it potential growth. First, the church today is being set back by worldliness. Perhaps this is the root of most setbacks in the church today. When one preaches against worldliness, one is preaching against people’s ungodly beliefs, actions and lifestyles. Sermons that confront worldliness deal with sin. People with unrepentant hearts may have their “feelings” hurt and even have despite for the messenger of the word. In reality, however, the messenger is doing them a favor because God’s law is forever settled that, “If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth” (1 John 1:6). Why does it seem like these “barn-burner” sermons are heard less and less in our pulpits?

Second, the church today is being set back with an attitude of accentuating “positive” preaching while aborting all forms of “negativity.” Perhaps this stems from the above problem of worldliness. I ask myself, “Where do we get the authority to judge a sermon as negative or positive?” Should we not rather ask, “Is it scriptural or profitable or accurate?” One man said, “If a preacher tells me how to avoid hell, that is pretty positive to me!” With that goes a big amen. The Jews were set back in New Testament days because they could not endure pointed, forceful, self-examining sermons (see Acts 7). Brethren, don’t ever be taken in by the modern complaint against preaching as being “too negative” and “non-compassionate,” especially when it is scripturally based. If the scripture doesn’t edify and is considered negative to people, then their hearts are not right with God.

Finally, the church is set back by denominationalism. We want to be “like the denominations around us.” We want our worship to be “like the denominations around us.” We want preachers to preach “like the denominations around us.” With this motivation, our future will be as bleak as Israel’s during the reign of King Saul. Brethren, remember the admonition of the apostle, “Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but ac-cording to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables” (2 Tim. 4:2-4). Perhaps when Paul penned this letter to the young evangelist he remembered when he and the other Pharisees were once accused by Stephen as being stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears (see Acts 7:51). Brethren, let us remember who we live for and who we seek to please. Paul asserted, “. . .do I seek to please men? For if I still please men, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Gal. 1:10). We are, in essence, set back when we quit concerning ourselves about pleasing God and begin seeking how to please men.

Guardian of Truth XL: No. 20, p. 14-15
October 17, 1996