Truth Magazine

By Jonathan Halbrook

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth (Eph. 6:2-3).

When my father gave me an opportunity to write an article of special interest to young people, I chose the subject “Honoring Our Parents.” I have decided to present some passages that teach us to honor our parents, along with some observations about my own upbringing which helped me to understand the meaning and application of these passages.

Train Up a Child

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6).

Parents are given this instruction by God to train up a child in the way he should go. I am thankful to God that I had two parents who tried very, very hard to do what this verse says. Now that I am 23 years old and living away from home, I hope I am able to hold up my end of the bargain and fulfill my responsibility by not departing from what I have been taught in God’s Word. God gave me two parents whose goal was to raise me as a Christian, and nothing but a true Christian, no matter what else I chose to do in life. They did not care if I was in the band, in drama, in athletics, or in any other good activity as long as it did not interfere with my faithful attendance at church or lead me to compromise my faith in God in other ways. With that understanding, they fully supported me in whatever I did.

It was hard for me to understand why my dad always would say that he hoped I was good enough to play high school sports but not good enough for intercollegiate sports. Now I understand that it was all based solely on my spiritual well-being. Young people idolize sports figures, but my dad believed most intercollegiate sports open the door to great temptations. With my parents’ encouragement, I went to Florida College where I not only received a good education and enjoyed plenty of intramural sports, but where I also made good, life-long Christian friends. I was spared the danger of being tempted to miss church services on long road trips as might otherwise have occurred in college sports.

As I look back on my childhood training, I realize we should honor our parents for trying to fulfill Proverbs 22:6. Because of that training, I know the right way to go in life even though my parents cannot go with me. I will have no excuses if I do not make it to heaven because I was brought up knowing the truth.

Teach Them God’s Word

Hear, 0 Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up (Deut. 6:4-7).

I was certainly taught what was right as a child. From my youth up, I was taught that there is one true God, that we must love him with all of our hearts, and that we must always listen to his Word. Bible lessons were always conducted in our home where Dad and Mom would sit down together with us to read and discuss the Bible one chapter at a time. We were taught memory verses from every book in the Bible. What-ever we may have learned in any one study session, if nothing else it showed where their hearts were as parents. There was a practical point they always wanted to get across to David, Deborah, and myself: Be a Christian, in the true sense of the word.

We were taught Christian conduct such as showing respect to our parents and other adults. We were taught to say, “Yes, sir,” “Yes, ma’am,” “Thank you,” and “Please,” because such expressions reflect the kindness and respect a good Christian should have.

I can look back and remember the people they looked up to, who their “heroes” or “superstars” were. You probably have not heard of most of them because they were not people like Michael Jordan, or Emmit Smith, or Ken Griffey, Jr. No. The way we admire these people is the same way my parents talked about people like Roy Cogdill, a fearless gospel preacher who would preach the truth on anything to anyone at any time in any place. They could tell you about his debates in defense of the truth like some children can tell you the stats of Ken Griffey, Jr. for the year.

My parents’ heroes included Kate Johnson, whom we all learned to love as such a nice person and a great cook. But all of that was secondary compared to her great faith which made her a true hero to my parents. She wanted to be at church so badly that she would come with severe back pains. When her back hurt so much that she could no longer sit, rather than leaving the service, she would just go to the back of the building and stand so that she could be a part of the service in spite of so much pain. (To learn more about her godly example, read my father’s article on “Kate Hankins Johnson, a Virtuous Woman” in the Guardian of Truth, July 7, 1994, on pp. 396-397.) Such people are my parents’ heroes, which just shows me what values are most important in their lives.

From my upbringing I have learned we should honor our parents for diligently teaching us God’s Word. But also they should be honored for reflecting in their lives the values, attitudes, speech, and conduct taught in God’s Word because this is a part of our training when we sit in the house, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up (Deut. 6:7).

Provide For the Family

For the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children (2 Cor. 12:14).

My parents provided the best they could for me to meet my physical and material needs. My parents have never indicated any interest in being wealthy. My mother is still a housewife and homemaker even though we could have had more material things if she had taken an outside job. When I used to want something we could not afford, I would tell my dad to ask for a raise. He said we should be thankful for what we have and we can get by if we try. It has seemed to me that my parents have struggled to pay their bills through the years partly because my dad does not really care how much money he makes and partly because my parents seem to concentrate so much on paying their honest debts instead of using their money for vacations and childish things.

I have come to understand that David, Deborah, and myself are the greatest expenses my parents have, and this is what they have been concentrating on even when I have not understood it. Why have my parents had bills to pay? I now understand. I never remember going to school without adequate or proper clothes. I never went hungry because my mother is such a great cook. Perhaps I should admit some bias in that statement, but if you ever eat her cooking you will agree with it. The point is that I have learned to honor my parents because they have spent their lives providing the things we have needed as children rather than seeking things for themselves.

Parental Discipline

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).

The duty of this passage could not have been easy for my parents in my case because I did have a bad temper at times. Now I realize they had a valid reason for every decision with which I disagreed at the time. The reason was never to take away the fun out of life, as I foolishly thought, but always had to do with keeping me within the guidelines a Christian should follow.

Being raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord meant that I was taught that the work of the Lord is first in priority. Why did I miss part of the daily football practice sessions during the week of Vacation Bible School every year? Someone loved me enough to teach me what was of first importance. Why did I miss a high school baseball game so that I could attend all of my dad’s debate with Jack Freeman on the divorce issue in 1990? Someone loved me enough to teach me true priorities. Baseball is over and the one game I missed is forgotten but there is still error being taught on divorce in churches of Christ, and I will be facing that error for the rest of my life.

So that I could be raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, my mother has loved her husband and her children as a keeper “at home,” as taught in Titus 2:4-5. My mother is a smart person and could have found many jobs outside of the home. But I thank God that she considered her work in the home as her full time job. I was part of her job and will benefit in many ways from her dedicated work for the rest of my life. I thank God that she did not find something else more interesting than her husband, her home, and her children.

My parents believed Proverbs 13:24, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” In fact, I think my parents knew this verse really well and it was a good thing they did when I came along. I learned to obey what my parents said because they said it, or else learned it through a belt, a switch, a hand, or whatever it took at times. Such discipline took place without abuse but with much love and patience. I am who I am today because my parents loved me enough to discipline me properly. At times I was stubborn, and it took a lot of this kind of love, but I am glad I had parents willing to do whatever it took to help me get the point. They did everything they knew to do to make sure that I would turn out to be a Christian.

I have learned to honor my parents because of their goal in life to raise their children “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” This is the training they have given to me in so many ways. This is the training I must never forget. Some day when I have a home of my own, it must be my goal to raise my children with this same kind of training.

Respect for Parents

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth (Eph. 6:2-3).

I was taught to honor my parents by the training I received while in their home, but now that I am away from home, I have learned to honor them in a new way because of the training they gave to me. I sometimes do not think I will be able to do as good a job as they did when I have my own family. There have been so many sacrifices made on behalf of David, Deborah, and myself. I know what some of them are, some I have forgotten, and some I will never know about. Plenty of sacrifices were made and it is not enough just to say, “Thank you.” I cannot pay back to them everything that they have done for me. But I know the main thing they want for me out of it all is for me to go to heaven. I have learned out of it all that when I sin it hurts God, me, and my parents. I do not try to be a Christian for them but for God. But I love them because they taught me to serve God, to be a Christian, and to go to heaven.

I hope this article will not only help other young people to honor their parents, but also help parents to realize the importance of their work. Hopefully, all parents will realize that the way they act is a great influence in determining how their children will act. “Ahaziah the son of Ahab … did evil in the sight of the Lord, and walked in the way of his father and in the way of his mother” (1 Kgs. 22:51-52). The old saying, “Like father, like son,” still holds true today.

Chances are, if the parents are alcoholics, then their children will drink alcohol. The same principle holds true when parents are weak Christians and try to get as close to sin as possible without actually sinning. Their children will most likely act the same way. There is always the temptation for young people to get close to sin, so it helps greatly when the parents set an example by seeing how far away from sin they can get so that they know with certainty that what they are doing is right. When children see this attitude and conduct, it instills in them a desire to want to do the right thing.

Guardian of Truth XXXIX: 6 p. 25-27
March 16, 1995

By Holly Turner

As I have grown, I have come to value the important role a woman plays in the development of a Christian home. A woman who has God as the center of her life will prove a valuable asset to her husband, her children, and the church. Many of us have seen wonderful examples of such women in our mothers, grandmothers, and fellow Christian women. We must not let the world influence our ideas and values as it tries to indoctrinate us with feminism and humanism.

The role of the woman is in the home. She is to be the keeper of the home and the manager of the home (Tit. 2:5; 1 Tim. 5:14). If she is very rarely in the home, how can she adequately fulfill her God-given role? Yes, sometimes, circumstances do not allow a woman to stay at home. My fear, however, is that many women are working solely so the family can have more, do more, and travel morebenefits that might satisfy for the moment but prove worthless in the end.

In Proverbs 31, Solomon highlights the life of a “worthy woman.” He sets forth a number of important roles for such a woman including being a good woman, a good wife, a good mother, and a good neighbor. By displaying such roles, a worthy woman will not only benefit those around her, but she will also bring to herself a good name.

First, a good woman is a diligent worker. She stands apart from other hardworking women because she works unselfishly, knowing the benefits she obtains are not only monetary, but spiritual. Her focus is on helping others, not promoting self. She is good and honest in all her dealings. She has God at the center of her life.

Second, a worthy woman is also a good wife. A good wife always seeks the best for her husband, and her attributes are a complement to him. She demonstrates her love by willingly submitting to him. She does not submit out of fear and tenor but out of a desire to obey her Lord. A woman such as this should be praised.

Third, Solomon deals with the role of a good mother. He states in Proverbs 31:21, “When it snows she has no fear because her household is clothed in scarlet.” It is obvious from this statement that this mother gives the best she can to her children. Her family is of great importance. The worthy woman sees her family as the king and herself as the servant. She rises early to tend to her motherly duties and is always striving to fulfill her obligations to them. Why does she do these things eagerly? She does this because of her love for her family and ultimately her love for God.

Fourth, a worthy woman also serves those outside her family. She helps the poor and lifts up the needy. She is always ready to lend a helping hand to those around her. Whether it be visiting those in sorrow, bringing food to the elderly, or inviting friends and strangers into her home, she does it with a glad heart. She also speaks wisely, never giving heed to vain words or gossip. Her wisdom is known among the people, and many seek her advice. She does not gloat in her wisdom but freely advises those who desire her words.

Solomon states in Proverbs 31:10 that such a woman “is valued far above rubies.” “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (v. 28). What tremendous satisfaction she must gain when she hears such words!

As young Christian women, we need not look out into the world for our role models but to the Bible and to the church.

Are the goals we have for our lives going to hinder our roles as godly women, wives, and mothers? If they are, let us refocus so that when we have families we can remain in the home. For many it will mean a sacrifice of a career, that big new house, that beautiful new car, or those great vacations. But what a small sacrifice to make for the ability to play an important role in the making of a godly home. The rewards will far exceed anything in this life that we can imagine. That is why I desire to be a godly woman, wife, and mother.

Guardian of Truth XXXIX: 6 p. 24
March 16, 1995

By Daniel H. King Sr.

There are people all around us these days, searching for something in their lives. Many of them will readily and ambivalently admit that they feel empty inside. Something, they know not what, is missing. They are lonely and desperate, agitated and unhappy.

They have financial success, many of them, and with it all the “things” that money can buy. But it does not give them lasting pleasure. They are not satisfied. A deep emptiness haunts their very existence. They enjoy most of the earthly delights for which multiplied thousands seek, yet find no enduring gratification in any of these carnal diversions.

A man cannot live his life apart from a relationship with his Maker and be truly happy. God made us that way on purpose. As Augustine wrote in his Confessions (VII 5), “Thou madest us for Thyself, and our heart is restless, until it repose in Thee.” Or, as David said before him, “0 God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is” (Psa. 63:1).

Whereas much that this world offers to mankind leaves us feeling vacant and hollow, there is lasting spiritual satisfaction in our relation-ship with our heavenly Father. As

David went on to say in his psalm: “Because thy loving kindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee. Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips: When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches. Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice. My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me” (63:3-8).

Remember, please, the following important points which relate to these devotions from David’s heart under the influence of the Holy Spirit:

1. A Man Needs God In His Life. As the psalm puts it, one’s relation-ship with God is as indispensable as water “in a dry and thirsty land.” Water is a requirement, essential to existence, not a luxury. Likewise, worshipping, praising, and loving God is not one of life’s distractions. It is not a sideline to what we do, nor is it a peripheral issue to who we are. Rather, it is the essence of who we are and what we do. A man does not just want God in his life, like to have him as his friend and Father, prefer to devote some time and energy to reverencing him, or desire an affiliation and association with him  he needs God, he must have him in his heart and his life, or else he will continue always to be thirsty for the water of life which God gives (In. 4:10, 13). This is life eternal, a foretaste of the heavenly glory, as Jesus said: “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (Jn. 17:3).

2. Having God In One’s Life Brings Satisfaction. “My soul shall be satisfied…” writes David. Just as food (“marrow and fatness”) leaves the stomach feeling full, so one who knows the Lord’s mercy and walks with him in his life experiences fulfillment. Those who do not know what is missing in their lives and who often wind up in dissipation, drug abuse or even suicide, will not admit that God is really what is lacking, the deficiency that plagues every aspect of their being. They cannot be happy because the one Person who can de-liver lasting contentment “God” is consciously and permanently shut out of their lives.

3. This Satisfaction Inspires Worship Of One’s Maker. Says the Psalmist, “My mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips.” The practice of one’s religion through worship is not viewed by this author, as with some of us, as a chore or an onerous duty, but as the joyful outpouring of a thankful heart. This is the way that each of us ought to view worship. We ought to extend such homage to God, and offer it out of a comparable inner motivation.

4. Private Devotion Is A By-product Of This Spiritual Satisfaction. “When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches,” in v. 6, shows that David was not merely practicing his religion publicly in the Temple. The passage describes private devotion, which according to the Savior is critical to true religion: “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly” (Matt. 6:6). If the only prayer or praise which we give to God is that which we offer in the assemblies with other Christians, then our religion is woefully lacking.

5. Diligence Will Not Permit This Satisfaction To Be Denied Us. The Authorized Version rendering of v. 8 is this: “My soul followeth hard after thee…” Other versions interpret the Hebrew phrase variously as, “My soul clings to Thee,” and “My soul cleaves after thee.” Such unrelenting pursuit of God and his truth has even been a quality of genuine religion (Deut. 10:20; Hos. 6:3). God is described in Scripture as a Father who ever waits longingly for us, watchful for our return to him (Lk. 15:20). But God did not leave home, we did. So we must make our way back to him, not he to us.

Those are his terms, and it is up to us to meet them. If we are diligent to do so, satisfaction and fulfillment are sure to follow in the wake. The emptiness and desperate groping of so many of this generation is proof positive that the world cannot give us lasting contentment. God alone has this within his power. And he metes it out solely to those who would seek his company. As the psalm says, “My soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee. . . My soul shall be satisfied…”

Guardian of Truth XXXIX: 7 p. 1
April 6, 1995

By Mike Willis

The Lord’s church in Danville is richly blessed with spiritually minded teenagers. We have three teenage boys who lead singing as capably as any of our adults. One is preparing himself to preach the gospel. At the end of his senior year of high school, he will enter his second year in a summer training program. Our young ladies also are committed to the Lord, although they do not have the opportunity to serve publicly.

The young people at Danville have not developed accidentally. There are several things that have been done that I mention, not to brag about what we have done, but to help others who might be searching for ways to keep their teenagers interested in the Lord’s work.

1. We have committed parents. Our teenagers all come from strong family units. The parents of every one of our teenagers have provided a stable family influence for the children. Two of our teenagers have come from homes that have experienced divorce. The spouses who are rearing the children are committed to the Lord. One has the resource of grandparents who are devoted Christians to give support; the other family is first generation Christians who have made a genuine commitment to the Lord. These families have worked hard to overcome the tragic effects of divorce and they are succeeding.

The parents are interested in the school work of their children, supporting them in whatever extra-curricular activities they choose to be involved. I do not know of any of our parents who unintentionally or intentionally has conveyed to his child that he is not wanted or loved. The parents are effectively communicating to their children that they love them, creating and building healthy self-esteem (see Tit. 2:4).

They also are committed to serving God in the local church. The families try to be present every time the doors of the church building are open. If they happen to be out of town, they make arrangements to worship while away on their trips. The church is the center of the family’s life.

Many parents also conduct home Bible studies with their children. I can only speak directly of what my family has done with our children, but I know that other families also have home Bible studies. We would usually read a chapter of the Bible together and have a prayer before Jenny and Corey left for school. We did not rigidly do this; there were days that we missed because someone was running late. At other periods of time when the children were younger, we would read the Bible together before putting them in bed. One of the secondary benefits that we derived from this time together was to help our children develop their reading skills. When our children were in the early years of grade school, they drew a picture of something we had read from the day’s Bible reading which we kept in a notebook that we used for review. These are precious memories that we have. I cannot doubt that these Bible studies helped shape my children for good.

Our society is gradually being forced to admit that the breakdown of the home is creating a generation of children who have no morals. Reluctantly the social engineers are talking about children conceived out of wedlock and homes torn apart by divorce that has left “fatherless homes.” ” Billions of dollars in federal programs have been spent to repair the damage created by broken homes. Our children at Danville have been richly blessed in having good stable home environments in which to mature.

2. We have opened our homes to their friends. The Danville teenagers enjoy associating with each other. Rarely is there a church service when some of them do not do something together. They may go to Wendy’s to get a coke or a cup of coffee (after all, they want to act adult). Their social life is centered around the young people at church. They mostly go out as a group, rather than entering serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationships prematurely. The various families at church have welcomed the teenagers into their homes, many times with very little planning, because these are the kinds of friends we wish to encourage our children to associate with.

One of the things that Sandy and I have done is to open our homes to teenage Bible studies. While I was living in Bowling Green, I visited the Bible studies conducted in the homes of Joel Plunkett and J.R. Bronger who both were working in the Nashville, Tennessee area. I was deeply impressed with the impact for good these times created for the young people. When I moved to Danville, there were relatively few teenagers in the local congregation. To provide opportunities for our children to associate with other young people, we opened our home once a month to a Bible study. Of course, that meant that the heaviest burden of the work fell on my wife, Sandy. She c leaned the house, moved the furniture around, tolerated the spills on the carpet, and other things associated with having a house full of young people. Many times she would complain all the time she was getting ready for having them over. But, I remember very few times that we were not spiritually revived by the experience. We usually had 30-40 teenagers in our home from 7 to 11 p.m. on one Saturday night a month. On some occasions we have had over 60. Some-times we had to move all of the chairs out of the room and sit on the floor to have our Bible study. These inconveniences were minor in view of the good impact these Bible studies have had on our lives.

The order for the Bible study was to sing for about one hour and invite someone to speak to the group for 20-35 minutes. Sometimes we would use local preachers who would volunteer to come, at other times one of the young men would speak for us, and when all else failed, I was drafted. Following this, we took a break for refreshments, provided by the young people (the boys brought drinks, the girls brought snacks; if they didn’t bring it, they didn’t eat it). Then, they had a couple of hours to visit with one another. Many times while Sandy and I were visiting in the dining room with adults who brought their children, the children in the family room started singing again. They sang because they wanted to and liked it. The idea that young people must be kept in church by trips to amusement parks, entertaining speakers, and other claptrap is an insult to our young folks. Many of them have deeper spiritual commitments than do their parents. Sandy and I have been encouraged by the parents around Indianapolis who thanked us for opening our home to the young people.

3. Most of us have taught our children to date Christians. We have tried to encourage our children to date and marry someone who is committed to the Lord. Sometimes Sandy and I made a distinction between dating someone who has been baptized and dating someone who is committed to the Lord. Some who have been baptized have no interest in serving the Lord, so we have tried to encourage our children to look deeper than just determining whether or not someone had been baptized when choosing whom to date. I do not remember any of Danville’s teenagers bringing a boyfriend or girlfriend who was an embarrassment to them. They have been attracted to and attract others who are trying to live right.

4. The congregation has given them opportunities to participate in the public worship. Our teenage boys who lead singing are part of the regular rotation of song leaders. All of the young men take part in Scripture reading, prayer, offering the invitation on Wednesday evening, and serving at the Lord’s table. They have been given more frequent opportunities to participate because we are a relatively small congregation (80-90). About twice a year, we have a Sunday service in which everything is conducted by the young people: two of them will speak at each service, they will lead singing, make announcements, offer prayer, and serve at the Lord’s table; the young ladies are responsible for preparing the communion. We have been encouraged by seeing their growth spiritually and challenged by the lessons they delivered.

Conclusion

The Danville church is not perfect; we have many weaknesses to overcome and we who are parents of these teenage children are most aware of our own weaknesses (our teenagers help us to see ourselves in a different light through mimicking us parents). However, this congregation has been truly blessed to have a group of teenagers who have brightened our worship and our homes. I want to express my appreciation to each of them personally: Rex and Beth Guyer, Bryan and Matt Miller, Megan Robbins, Jason and Derrick Hosfield, Jennifer Stotts, and Corey Willis. Four of them are graduating this year (Rex Guyer, Bryan Miller, Jason Hosfield, and Corey Willis). Two have already committed themselves to go to Florida College (Jason and Corey). May God bless each of you and thanks for the encouragement you have been to my life.

Guardian of Truth XXXIX: 7 p. 2
April 6, 1995