Truth Magazine

By Shannon Staffer

In this age of highly technological gizmos and gadgets, faster this and more powerful thats, along with a tremendous demand on us and our time to deal with our family, a job, our physical appearance, the brethren and so on, there comes what we so affectionately call “stress.” When this “friend” comes and invites himself into our lives he brings problems and more complications that can shake, crack, and crumble everything around us. If we do not have a sure footing then we are doomed to crumble right along with these things. When such occurs in our lives, what is it that could help prevent much of this and yet is the most severely damaged when these things do start causing us problems? Our confidence. This is an important subject because as our confidence in all these other things (family, job, etc.) goes down then so will our confidence in God, his word, Christ, the church, and our work in the church.

Dealing With Stress

How are we going to tackle these problems which we feel are “stressing us out”? If we are truly striving to be “Christlike” then a good does of humility will go a long way in the attempt to resolve many of our problems. We should be humble just as Christ was humble (Jn. 13:15,16; Phil. 2:7,8). Paul also exhorts us to have this attitude and disposition (Col. 3:12; Eph. 4:1,2). If we are humble about our situation at work then maybe it won’t be us saying, “the boss just doesn’t like me, that’s why I have been so much trouble at work” – or at home “why are you being so hard to get along with?”, but rather we will be looking to ourselves and evaluating what kind of employee, husband, or wife, etc. we are being.

But, even with a more humble attitude we can still lack confidence, so we must also remember God’s promises. The key to remembering and having confidence in God’s promises is to note God’s faithfulness in keeping his promises. God has been faithful to his people for centuries, as long as they followed him. We must learn to appreciate and have confidence in the fact that “God is faithful” (1 Cor. 1:9; 10:13; 2 Thess. 3:3). And, when these problems do seem to get the best of us, never forget that “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1:9). Truly this is a great blessing and source for our confidence which takes so many blows in our daily lives.

As we wrestle with these problems which plague us and destroy our confidence, we must also simply do what’s right and feel good about it. Think about when you repair or build something. When you put a little time and effort into it, what happens? “Wow, it works better than ever” or “I think that is the best looking project I’ve ever finished.” So it is with our service to the Lord. When we put some effort and time into it and we know we are doing what is right then we feel good and we should. Do what’s right and feel good about it; it will boost your confidence. You won’t be sorry.

Finally, as we seek to deal with stress and keep our confidence up we need to “remember Job.” As I use that phrase it sounds like a cliche but I believe it applies tremendously in this situation. Consider with me. When things start going wrong in our lives and it seems like we can’t win for losing, what do we usually do? We start getting down on ourselves and everything around us. We think of how tremendous our problems are and how no one’s problems are as big or complicated as ours. At this point we really do need to be pitied, not because we have so many problems, but because of our height of selfishness. We need to stop and take note of two or three people who have more problems than we do. We need to “remember Job” and some “Job’s” that we know personally to help us overcome our selfishness.

Why Do We Lack Confidence?

We have talked about these things that play havoc with our lives and some ways to deal with them. That is all fine and good, but really, why do we lack confidence? I believe one of the biggest reasons is fear. We lack confidence many times because we are simply afraid. We fear teaching the gospel and begin to offer more excuses than one could imagine. But you don’t have to be afraid of your inadequacy to teach. It will not be our wonderful teaching that changes men’s hearts, but Paul said that the “gospel of Christ” is the “power of God unto salvation ” (Rom. 1:16). True, there needs to be some study and training on our part, but we can’t be afraid to teach people because we are too busy saying “I can’t ” or “I don’t know enough.” This attitude has caused many Christians to sit back and do nothing. We recognize in business, sports and almost every other part of life that if we say we can’t, then we won’t. Why then when it comes to the work of the Lord’s church do we not oppose and correct this attitude the same way we do in other things. If this attitude is allowed to prevail then we will be in that group in Revelation 21:8, who are “cowardly” and will take “their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone.”

We have already discussed at some length another reason why people lack confidence, that being stress. Take a moment though and ask yourself, “I wonder if Paul ever had any stress; anything to be concerned about?” Read 2 Corinthians 11:24-28. Notice verse 28, “besides the other things”: Paul says this list is not complete but besides all that was his “deep concern for all the churches. ” Paul loved all those churches that he had been a part of and he was concerned about them on a daily basis. So then the question comes back to us. Are we that concerned about the congregations which we attend or when problems come along does that immediately separate us from our brethren? Do I become so wrapped up in my own selfish, oftentimes insignificant, problems that I do not see or even care about what is going on in the church? Or, do I have Paul’s attitude?

A third reason we lack confidence is because the world keeps telling us that circumstances mean everything. Just watch TV for a little while and notice that if you don’t live in the right place, use the right deodorant, or the right toothpaste, then you are a nobody! We become discontented with who we are and what we have and it is difficult if not impossible for us to express the atittude that Paul did in Philippians 4:11. As our confidence begins to slide we hear ourselves saying as we look into God’s word, “yes, but that was Abraham or Paul, etc.” Look at Hebrews 11 for a few moments and notice that list of people. Think about some of the circumstances in which they found themselves. I take it that one reason these people are listed for us is so that we can look at those individuals and think about what they overcame. They were striving to serve the Lord day by day and we can overcome just like they did in their lifetime. Circumstances do not mean everything!

Some Examples

Before we close let us look at a couple of examples to illustrate what we have been talking about. Contemplate David as he goes out to check on his brothers who are at war with the Philistines. As he approaches the battlefield, instead of a battle, he sees a giant man standing in the valley shouting and taunting the host of Israel. After some inquiry into the situation David determined that he would go out and fight this Philistine. But wait a minute David, you are just going to go out there and get yourself killed. You, better just sit in the camp for a while and discuss the situation with all of the other soldiers. There was no stopping David though, and why was that? Because David placed his confidence in God. He had the battle won before he even stepped out of the camp. David lived the principle long before Paul penned Philippians 4:13. We as Christians need to take a lesson.

Consider also Peter, in a very familiar passage in Matthew 14:22-33. The account is when Jesus came to the disciples walking on the water. As Peter had requested to come to the Lord on the water he came down out of the boat and began walking to Jesus. When Peter began to look around and saw the waves crashing and felt the wind gusting he began to sink. He then cried out and the Lord pulled Peter out of the water and said “O ye of little faith, why did you doubt?” As we have been thinking together we haven’t really been talking about confidence, we have been talking about faith.

Let us look at one more example which is found in Luke 17:4-6. As the Lord talked to his disciples about forgiveness, He told them them if a brother were to sin against them seven times in one day and repented then he was to be forgiven. Seven times in one day! The apostles immediately began to think about how difficult this would be and so they said, “Lord, increase our faith.” But the Lord said that it was not more faith they needed, but that they simply needed to use the faith they had already. Likewise, we need to learn to use the faith that we have because we too do not need more faith but a better use of what we already possess.

Conclusion

So then let us remember these things and not let Satan tear us down and destroy our faith. Brethren, it is my hope and prayer that we could all reiterate the words of Paul in 2 Timothy 4:7 at the end of our life and says, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Amen.

Guardian of Truth XXXVI: 18, pp. 558-559
September 17, 1992

By Anonymous

We are our brother’s keeper. Not only does the parable of the Good Samaritan tell us so in Luke 10:30, but the Bible is a reference book on caring. We are to bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2,5), bear the infirmities of the weak (Rom. 15:1), and weep with them that weep (Rom. 12:15). Yet in the midst of our caring, we must be aware of ourselves and the position in which we put ourselves by having that concern.

Those of our number who are troubled, lonely, or depressed and who come to us for counsel are vulnerable. Any professional counselor is trained to respect that fact. And if there is a difference in gender involved, it is the wise care giver or friend who will be cautious.

Anyone who becomes a confidant to a person of the opposite sex must be aware of the dangers. Dangerous to be “a friend” to someone in trouble? Yes. There are too many documented cases of sexual involvement and the resultant broken marriages which grew from what started out as innocent friendships. The tone of the relationship can change from casual to intimate at the point of the sharing of a personal problem with which one of the parties is struggling.

How Vulnerable Is the Helper?

At times, we who would reach out to help a friend over estimate our strength and self-control. Not only is the perplexed friend at risk of being vulnerable, but so is the helper. The need to be needed is basic. It fulfills us. We may be overwhelmed by the appreciation shown us for our understanding and complimented by the trust our friend has in us. A bond can easily develop. There may be a sense of security in this new relationship we share.

Though we may recognize the dangers involved in an alliance for assistance, we can allow ourselves to feel obligated. Thoughts such as the following may haunt us: “He/She needs me – I wouldn’t be a good Christian if I desert him/her,” or “If I reject this person, it may be the last straw for him/her and I’d be responsible.”

The Nature of the Problem

All too often people are innocently pulled into relationships, not suspecting that the temptations can pull them under. Like a whirlpool that traps them unexpectedly, their resolve to resist temptation can be swept away before they are even aware that it is gone.

Mark (not his real name) worked in a store with an attractive married woman. She began to talk to him about her problems at home. Her husband drank too much and her life was miserable. He sympathized. She confided and he listened, giving her the understanding she was not getting at home. He told his roommate about her terrible plight. He warned him not to get too close to the situation. Mark agreed and said it would never happen. It was just not that kind of relationship. The friendship grew. The roommate warned more vehemently. By now Mark was miserable. He knew this was a relationship that was becoming dangerous. He even said he knew that it would be wrong and that he was going to stay away from her. The attempt to leave her and her problems alone lasted only days. The next development that his roommate heard about was the first time Mark spent the night with her. Devastated by his fellow Christian’s adulterous act, his roommate moved out. Mark was not inspired to leave the woman who was now his lover.

Practical Solutions

So what is the answer to what can become a problem leading to sin? The solution is probably as simple as using common sense and a dose of assertiveness.

Mark knew when the tenor of his relationship with his female friend at work was changing. All of us can feel it when temptation is there. Joseph knew when to leave his cloak in the hands of Potiphar’s wife and run away from her as fast as he could. The price he paid for the right decision was high. But he retained his honor and the Lord rewarded him. There are still sacrifices that must be made for doing that which is right.

Being worried about hurting the feelings of your friend or offending them may block your appropriate responses. Be aware that even if you are the only one who feels uncomfortable, your feelings count. You would be naive to overlook those feelings. You have spent years in Bible study trying to train your conscience. Don’t turn it off now when it strives to protect you. You can still be kind, but with that kindness you must also be assertive. Responses such as the following are completely appropriate:

“I am no longer comfortable with this. . .”

“You need more help than I can give; you need to talk to one of the elders (older church member, see a counselor)

who is more equipped to help you.”

“I have to be honest with you, I feel like I’m becoming too emotionally involved with your problems. I need to step back.”

Overcoming Over-Involvement

If your friendship with someone of the opposite sex has reached the realm of over-involvement, you need to be keenly aware of that. Many times the fact that you may have to deal with that person at work or at school or at church places the burden on you to be watchful. Innocent comments to or routine involvement with your friend may now take on different connotations than they once did. Now everything is seen through different eyes and may be distorted in importance in your friend’s mind.

Wisdom would lead you to be cautious. It would be to your advantage to consider the following:

1. Don’t be alone with your friend. This can be misconstrued by your friend as well as others. It puts you in jeopardy of being misunderstood. It leaves you open to accusation for which you have no defense because you have no witnesses.

2. Don’t allow your space to be violated. Your home is your space. Your car is your space. The area around your person (most say, a radius of two feet) is your space. If you are uncomfortable admitting someone into any of those areas, say so. It may take courage, but steel yourself and speak up. If someone comes to your home and you are not comfortable inviting them inside, either say so or step outside with them and carry on a brief conversation there. It is a public area. They will feel that and qet the idea. You are not being rude, you are simply maintaining your comfort level.

3. Don’t make that person a part of your life to any greater extent (and don’t be afraid to pull back your involvement when something inside, call it conscience if you will, tells you to do so). Again we’re talking comfort level. There will be shared activities that may not be avoided at work, school or church, but scheduling activities in which your friend is involved may be asking for too much interaction. Certain invitations need to be kindly rejected. Yes, you risk hurting that friend’s feelings. But the greater risk may be more familiarity and an increased sense of intimacy between you and the friend you are trying to distance.

4. Do stay busy with other people and other activities and say that you’re busy. Absence may be just the thing needed to cool the fires or extinguish the spark before the flames erupt. You may in this manner encourage your troubled friend to get help that is appropriate. Taking away the prop that you have provided will often force a person to stand on his or her own or to lean more heavily toward a more appropriate helper.

Don’t beat yourself up for caring. We must love one another. It is required by God. The scriptural references in a concordance under the word “love” fill the page. In each of our lives there are opportunities after opportunities for helping. There are friends in various stages of development physically, spiritually and emotionally who need our understanding. All we have to keep in mind is that we do not do anything in a vacuum. There are factors to consider in any relationship we undertake.

Guardian of Truth XXXVI: 18, pp. 560-561
September 17, 1992

By Brooks Cochran

“Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. There hath no temptation taken you but such as man can bear: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation make also the way of escape, that ye may be able to endure it” (1 Cor. 10:12,13).

The word temptation (peirasmos) “is used of (1) trials with a beneficial purpose and effect [cf. James 1:2; 1 Peter 1:6]; . . . (2) Of trial definitely designed to lead to wrong doing; . . . (3) Of ‘trying’ or challenging God, by men” (Vine, Expository Dictionary of N. T. Words, p. 622). The first definition has to do with trials which test and/or prove a person; i.e. how real, sincere, or true is his faith. The second deals with that which entices a person to do evil. In this sense, God does not tempt us (Jas. 1:13,14). It is with this meaning that we shall direct our thoughts.

1. Temptation is a universal experience. Adam was tempted in the garden of Eden and fell (Gen. 3). Christ was tempted in the wilderness and overcame (Matt. 4). Christ, because of his experience as a man, is able to help us as we meet with trials in life (Heb. 2:14-18; 4:14-16).

2. No one is secure from temptations. Paul, in the above text, warns not to be lead into a sense of false security. When we think or assume that we are secure, we are in danger. The presumptuous individual disarms himself and becomes an easy target for the “fiery darts of the evil one” (Eph. 6:16). The devil often strikes unexpectedly, often finding us unaware and unprepared (1 Pet. 5:8).

3. Temptations should not cause one to become discouraged. Again, in the above text, Paul states that God “is faithful” and will not allow us “to be tempted” beyond that which we are able to bear. He also will provide us with a way of escape. How often do we use the way provided by God?

4. Overcoming temptations requires effort. It may require resistance (Jas. 4:7,8); meditation, prayer, and watchfulness (Psa. 119:11; Matt. 26:4 1); or running away from the evil (1 Cor. 6:18; 10:14; 2 Tim. 2:22; Gen. 39:12).

In the temptations we face, there are two possibilities: (1) We yield and thus we sin (Jas. 1:14-15); (2) We resist and overcome Satan and the world (1 Jn. 5:4,5; 5:18-21). By doing the latter we gain strength and prepare ourselves for Satan’s next attack (cf. Lk. 4:13).

Guardian of Truth XXXVI: 18, p. 557
September 17, 1992

By Larry Ray Halfey

Even though Ezekiel 33:12,13,18, says it is not true, Catholicism teaches that at death erring children of God go to Purgatory, but afterward they are admitted into heaven. But if the “righteous” who die in sin are purged and punished and then allowed into heaven, what about the “wicked” who slip up and actually do some good? Could we not say taht the wicked enter into a pre-heaven paradise because of the good they did? If the righteous are punished in Purgatory and then sent to heaven, why not reward the wicked for a little while for the few good deeds they did, and then send them on to Hell for the duration of their condemnation? If we may have one, why not the other?

1 John 2:1, 2, is a death blow to the Catholic Confession booth – “And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the righteous,” “We” included John, the apostle. Even those who sinned in John’s day were not pointed toward the apostles, nor to any other group of men. Our “advocate,” “the Apostle and High Priest of our profession (is) Christ Jesus” (Heb. 3:1). There are no Catholic toll booths on the highway to heaven.

To “see” or “enter the kingdom of God” is to be saved (Jn. 3:3,5). At least, the Lord and the apostles thought so. In Matthew 19:16, the rich, young ruler asked about “eternal life. ” Jesus told him how to “enter into life, ” and how to “have treasure in heaven.” When the rich man went away, Jesus discussed how difficult it was for a rich man who trusts in his riches to “enter into the kingdom. ” When the disciples heard it, they asked, “Who then can be saved?” To be saved, to enter into life, to have eternal life, to have treasure in heaven, is to be in the kingdom.

One error that blinds many to the truth is the concept that conditions equal merit. If a blessing has terms or conditions that must be obeyed, it is considered as being earned, deserved, merited. But conditions do not equal merit! Our “daily bread,” our food, “is the gift of God” (Eccl. 3:13; Matt. 6:11). Yet, there are conditions to be met before we receive it. Eating, drinking and enjoying the benefits of “labor” are called “the gift of God” (Eccl. 3:13; cf. 2 Thess. 3: 10).

Note another example of the point above. God gave Jericho to Israel, but there were conditions attached (Josh. 6:2-5; Heb. 11:30). Israel had to be obedient in order to be blessed (Deut. 28-32; cf. Matt. 7:21-28). God said, “I have given into thine hand Jericho,” yet “they took the city” (Josh. 6:2,20). After meeting the terms, the conditions necessary to secure it, the land was not earned. Conditions do not equal merit. Years later, God said:

We have heard with our ears, O God, our fathers have told us, what work thou didst in their days, in the times of old. How thou didst drive out the heathen with thy hand, and plantedst them; how thou didst afflict the people, and cast them out. For they got not the land in possession by their own sword, neither did their own arm save them: but thy right hand, and thine arm, and the light of thy countenance, because thou hadst a favor unto them. . . . Through thee will we push down our enemies: through thy name will we tread them under that rise up against us. For I will not trust in my bow, neither shall my sword save me. But thou has saved us from our enemies (Psa. 44:1-3,5-7).

Despite required acts of obedience, the blessings were not earned. So, too, of spiritual blessings. “Salvation is of the Lord” (Jon. 2:9); “It is the gift of God” (Eph. 2:8,9; Rom. 6:23). Though one must believe, repent and be baptized in order to be saved (Heb. 11:6; Jn. 8:24; Mk. 16:16; Acts 2:38), these terms of pardon do not nullify grace. “Conditions equal merit” is a monstrous lie!

Guardian of Truth XXXVI: 18, p. 553
September 17, 1992