Truth Magazine

By Ron Halbrook

Introduction

1 . Man’s leadership in every aspect of home life depends first and foremost on his spiritual attitude, condition, and role.

2. If we succeed in other ways but fail in spiritual leadership, we fail in our most serious responsibility.

3. If we do not attain all the material, physical, and carnal goals we have in life, but succeed in the spiritual leadership of our family, we are a success rather than a failure in God’s sight.

I. God made man responsible to lead the family.

A. Genesis 2:24; 3:16. Whom did God make responsible from the beginning?

B. Genesis 18:19. Can God say this about me?

C. Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Who should lead in setting an example of love for God and in teaching God’s word?

D. Joshua 24:14-15. Do we have this determination? E. Psalms 78:4-7. Do we hide or teach God’s law?

F. Ephesians 5:22-6:4. Who is the perfect pattern of ideal leadership, and who is responsible to follow that pattern in leading the family?

II. Moral and spiritual leadership grows out of loving God and our fellow man (Matt. 22:34-40; Rom. 13:8-10).

A. Every specific application and exercise of true leadership is based on this principle.

B. Leadership based on mere tradition, emotion, human philosophy, and force is flawed.

C. We must develop, exercise, and increase spiritual leadership in various areas of life. Leadership is not automatic.

1. We must grow personally and individually.

2. We must grow in relationship to our wife.

3. We must grow in relationship to each of our children.

4. We must grow personally in relationship to the family as a whole or a unit.

III. What can we do to develop moral and spiritual leadership in home?

A. Personal and individual growth must come first.

1. Obey the gospel (right relationship with God is basis for every other right relationship). Must do what is right, if to lead others to do what is right (Acts 2:38; Rom. 6:14).

2. Private, personal Bible study (1 Pet. 2:1-3).

3. Private, personal prayer (Matt. 6:6; Phil. 4:6).

4. Attend public worship with interest and enthusiasm (Heb. 10:24-25).

5. Participate in worship according to ability (Acts 2:42; 1 Tim. 2:8,12).

6. Prepare Bible lesson for classes (Acts 17:11; 2 Tim. 2:15).

7. Be courteous, kind and considerate (Matt. 7:12; 22:39; 1 Pet. 3:7; Col. 3:19-21).

8. Be a good example in all things (includes attitude, word, and deed; avoid profanity, pornography, gambling, drinking, immodesty, etc.). Matthew 5:13-16.

9. Show respect for others by the way we speak to them and treat them (relatives, friends, neighbors, etc.). Matthew 7:12.

10. Provide for family’s physical needs to best of ability (1 Tim. 5:8).

11. Keep your word (do what you say and say what you mean). Matthew 7:12; Colossians 3:9.

12. Proper attitude toward others outside family (includes helping them in any way we can; avoid gossip, bitterness, etc.; control temper and tongue). Matthew 7:12; 22:39.

13. Be strong in the Lord and serve him willingly (Rom. 6:17; Eph. 6:10-11).

14. Right relationship to civil government (obey laws, pay taxes, etc.). Romans 13:1-7.

15. Right relationship to employer or employee (Eph. 6:5-9).

16. Right relationship to neighbors and community where we live (patient, compassionate, humble, honest, peaceable). Romans 12:14-18.

17. Talk to people about the gospel, invite them to church, and arrange private Bible studies with them when possible (Eph. 5:23; 6:4; Acts 8:3-4; Phil. 2:15-16).

18. Be honest, sincere, and above reproach in all dealings with everyone (including family, saints, and sinners; leave no room for doubt). 2 Corinthians 8:21; Romans 12:17.

19. Don’t be materialistic (be content with what you have and who you are). Matthew 6:24; Hebrews 13:5.

20. Show patience toward family and others (Matt. 7:12; Eph. 4:1-3,31-32).

B. How does a man grow in leading his wife?

1. Prayer with wife (Eph. 5:28-31).

2. Bible reading and study with wife (1 Pet. 2:1-3; Eph. 5:23).

3. Treat wife in godly manner (show respect, affection, gratitude). 1 Peter 3:7.

4. Communicate with wife (Eph. 5:28-31; 1 Pet. 3:7).

5. Sexual faithfulness and purity (Heb. 13:4).

6. Other qualities are considered below under the family heading.

C. How does a man grow in leading his children?

1. Prayer with each child (Eph. 6:4).

2. Bible reading and study with children (1 Pet. 2:1-3; Eph. 6:4).

3. Help children prepare lesson for Bible class (Acts 17:11; Eph. 6:4).

4. Treat children in godly manner (show respect, affection, gratitude). Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21.

5. Communicate with children (Eph. 6:4).

6. Sexual education of children with God in the picture (Eph. 6:4; Heb. 13:4).

7. Balanced and consistent discipline (Eph. 6:4; Heb. 12:6-11).

8. Teach children how to give as we prosper and cheerfully (Eph. 4:28; 6:4; 1 Cor. 16:2; 2 Cor. 9:7).

9. Other qualities are considered below under the family heading.

D. How does a man grow in leading the family as a unit?

1. Prayer with family gathered together (meal time; facing problem; decision making; other times). Philippians 4:6; Ephesians 5:23; 6:4.

2. Teach children “problem solving” with God in picture, and practice it with whole family (Matt. 7:12; 1 Pet. 3:10-12; 5:5-7).

3. Bible reading and study with family gathered together (Eph. 5:28-31; 6:4).

4. Spend good quality time with family (include some separate time with each one). Deuteronomy 6:7.

5. Make decisions for family after considering their needs, feelings, and input (Eph. 5:28-31; 6:4).

6. Be willing to visit and assist elderly and others, with help of wife and children (1 Tim. 5:16; Jas. 1:27).

7. Responsible use of money; work with wife; teach children (put the Lord first, then family necessities, and other things; share without grudging; balanced). 1 Corinthians 16:2; Ephesians 4:28; 1 Timothy 6:6-10.

8. Guide family in careful use of television (avoid double standard of warning children against ungodly shows, and then watching them ourselves; don’t let television monopolize your time or the family’s time; use moderation). 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22; Ephesians 5:15-17.

9. Teach family difference between God’s law and civil law (Acts 5:29; Matt. 19:9; Rom. 1:27).

10. Keep recreation in proper limits (don’t compromise with sin or forsake assembly; consider interests of others in the family; don’t be extravagant with it; don’t let it crowd out other needed activities). James 1:27; 1 John 2:15-17.

11. Teach wife and children to teach others the gospel (encourage them to invite their friends to church, give out meeting announcements, etc.). Ephesians 6:4; 2 Timothy 2:2.

Conclusion

1. Next to saving his own soul, the most important responsibility a man has is to provide moral and spiritual leadership for his family. He cannot guarantee that they will always follow as they should, but he is still responsible to lead.

2. This outline suggests a theme we need to pray about and study, but does not exhaust the study. What suggestions can you add?

3. All of us can see areas where we need to improve and grow. With the help of God, our family, and other Christians, we can grow if we sincerely desire to!

Guardian of Truth XXXV: 11, pp. 330-331
June 6, 1991

By John A. Smith

“Stickin’ Out and Fittin’ In”

I am somebody special, unique and important. There is not another me! The same is true for you. But with a name like “John Smith,” I’m also rather ordinary. I have the most common blood type and have a rather typical family. I am also an odd ball. I don’t fit many of the molds that the world has produced. In fact the best compliment that I have ever received was one of surprise. When one person found out that I was a preacher they said, “Well, you sure don’t act like one!”

Everyone who strives to be a child of God will find themselves in this dilemma. We are ordinary people with unique personalities who go quietly about our everyday duties. We try to fit in while we stick out.

For the young person, particularly the teenager, this dilemma often exacts a great deal of anguish. They want to fit in while maintaining a degree of individuality (which of course must fit the accepted and popular mold). It seems that every young person wants to be a part of a clique or group. This makes them vulnerable to external pressure to behave in certain ways that may not be wise or healthy. As their world expands to include more people, and they become more concerned with the judgments of others, the dilemma of peer pressure becomes greater. Parents and young people can take heart because it can be turned into a positive and healthy experience.

God Expects Us To Stick Out From The Crowd!

We are to be separate from the world and to live above the standard of the world.- Peter describes us as “a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation” (1 Pet. 2:9). In 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1 Paul said, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness. . . Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.” If we want to be the sons of God, then we must determine not to fit the world’s mold.

We are to live separate from the world, but we are not to isolate ourselves from the world. When Jesus prayed for his disciples’ protection, he did not want them taken out of the world. He simply wanted them protected while they were in the world (Jn. 17:15-16). We are not to live like hermits viewing the world through peep-holes. We are not to remove ourselves from the mainstream of society as the Amish have attempted. We have been sent into the mainstream of the world to provide salt and light.

Our dilemma is that we are to stick out while we fit in. Of one man it was said: he was not a recluse. He attended weddings, funerals and feasts. He enjoyed the mountains and the sea. He talked freely with fishermen, farmers, tax collectors, religious and civil leaders. He shared the common weariness of travel and public activity. But he still said, “I am not of this world.” He was not shaped in its image. We are to strive for the same uniqueness as Christ.

Guardian of Truth XXXV: 11, p. 333
June 6, 1991

By Irvin Himmell

To the Philippians this exhortation was written by Paul: “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others” (Phil. 2:4). Here is a text which needs to be preached.

Selfishness is excessive or exclusive concern with oneself. It is seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others. A selfish person is like a ball of twine – all wrapped up in self! Tertullian (A.D. 160-220) said, “He who lives only to benefit himself confers on the world a benefit when he dies.”

A faithful child of God fixes his attention, not on self alone, but on others. Look around and consider your brothers and sisters in the Lord. They deserve to be esteemed in spite of their shortcomings. When I seriously contemplate my fellow Christians, each has some quality that surpasses mine. Perhaps one is more patient than I am; another thinks more quickly; another has a better personality; another excels me in knowing what to say when at the bedside of a sick person; another has more courage; another has a wider range of experience; another is a better teacher; etc. How uncharitable and egotistical it would be of me to fail to esteem others. Our interest must extend beyond self.

Signs of Selfishness

Let us give some thought to ways in which selfishness may be demonstrated. Any of these signs should trigger alarm on our part.

(1) One’s interests circle around himself. His foremost concern is his own comfort, convenience, and enjoyment. The shadow of self is cast over everything else. His language abounds in I, my, mine, me, us, ours, and we. Nabal was this kind of man (1 Sam. 25:1-11). When David sent some of his young men to Nabal to try to find favor with him, this obstinate fellow answered in a distinctly selfish tone: “Shall I then take my bread and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be?”

(2) The guiding rule is, “What is in it for me?” This sign of selfishness shrinks people into a mold that restricts usefulness. It is an attitude too often exemplified. The fellow who follows this rule thinks the church owes him something. He thinks of classes and worship in terms of receiving, not giving. It never occurs to him that there might be something which he could contribute. “What is in it for me?” Well, the opportunity to serve is what is there “for me.” Remember the parable of the Samaritan in Luke 10:30-35. The priest and the Levite passed by on the other side, leaving the wounded man without assistance. They saw nothing that would benefit themselves. The Samaritan lost sight of self, turning attention to the needs of the victim. He had compassion, bound up the man’s wounds, took him to an inn, paid the bill, arranged for future care, and promised to reimburse the innkeeper later. When we were infants we were takers, but by now we should have developed into givers. Selfishness curtails devotion to duty.

(3) Lack of genuine concern for others. God teaches us to love, and love “seeketh not her own” (1 Cor. 13:5). Failure to show real concern for others discloses lack of love. There are some who do not care what happens to others. The strong are taught to bear the infirmities of the weak (Rom. 15:1). We are to rejoice with others who rejoice, and weep with others who weep (Rom. 12:15). The spiritual are to restore the brother overtaken in a fault (Gal. 6:1). We dare not shut up our heart of compassion against a brother who has need (1 Jn. 3:17). The rich man in Luke 16 lifted up his eyes in torments. He had shown no interest in the plight of Lazarus, a poor, diseased beggar.

(4) Shutting faithful Christians out socially. Here is another sure sign of selfishness. Some in the church limit their social contacts to a special circle. They never invite anyone into their home unless he is of their own “set,” their own family, or their special group of friends. Others limit their invitations to such as will return the favor. This does not square with what Jesus taught in Luke 14:12-14. Some do themselves a great disservice by shutting out the aged, the poor, the lonely, and those with whom they have only slight acquaintance.

(5) Personal concerns outweigh service to God. It was selfishness that prompted the Jews to put off building the Lord’s house but not their own houses (Hag. 1:2-4). Too many Christians “seek their own.” Paul brought a rather strong indictment against certain ones in Philippians 2:21, “For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s.” Jesus died for all, “that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them and rose again” (2 Cor. 5:15). Service to God demands that our personal interests not take priority.

Fruits of Selfishness

Having noticed some of the signs of selfishness, we now turn our attention to some of its fruits.

(1) Selfishness makes one unreliable. A selfish person cannot be depended on to give as prospered. Cheerful giving (2 Cor. 9:7) flows from a generous heart. Jesus Christ was rich, yet for our sakes became poor. His example (2 Cor. 8:9) teaches us to give unselfishly. A selfish person is unwilling to deny himself as Jesus commanded (Matt. 16:24,25). A selfish person does not devote much time and attention to the Lord’s work. Paul knew that he could depend on Timothy because of Timothy’s care for others (Phil. 2:19,20).

(2) Selfishness produces ruin and disgrace. Lot made a selfish choice that bore bitter fruit when he pitched his tent toward Sodom. He was a righteous man but was influenced by the beauty and fertility of the plain of Jordan (Gen. 13:9-13). The prodigal son squandered his living on himself and came to poverty and shame (Lk. 15:11-19).

(3) Selfishness robs God. The Jews in Malachi’s day acted selfishly by offering blind, sickly, lame animals in sacrifice to Jehovah. They withheld the tithes and offerings which belonged to the Lord (Mal. 1:8; 3:8). Just as they robbed God, many today rob him of worship, time, the use of their energies, and their resources.

(4) Selfishness deprives one of joy. In the parable about the two sons, the elder brother was selfish. Unlike the younger brother, he did not waste his substance in riotous living, but he was sullen, sulky, unforgiving, and angry due to a selfcentered attitude (Lk. 15:25-32). He shut himself out from a joyous celebration. Joy is a part of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22). Some never know the joy that comes through Christ “living in us” (Gal. 2:20). They are trapped in a state of self-inflicted misery.

(5) Selfishness leads to other sins. Ananias and Sapphira lied in an attempt to cover their selfish greed (Acts 5:1-11). Judas Iscariot betrayed the Lord because he was thinking only of himself. Diotrephes used malicious words and became a church dictator due to selfishness (3 Jn. 9,10). Broken homes result from selfishness. People often abuse others, verbally and physically, due to their own selfishness.

Knowing the signs of selfishness, let us endeavor to overcome it. Knowing the fruits of selfishness, let us guard against it. No one is Christ-like unless he is unselfish. The Son of man “came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:28). Our Master gave himself in service and in sacrifice for us. May his love conquer so that we can sing from the heart,

Higher than the highest heavens,

Deeper than the deepest sea,

Lord, thy love at last has conquered,

None of self, and all of thee.

Guardian of Truth XXXV: 11, pp. 334-335
June 6, 1991

By Larry Ray Hafley

While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage” (2 Pet. 2:19). “His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins” (Prov. 5:22). “In the transgression of an evil man there is a snare” (Prov. 29:6).

The wicked, the wayward, the worldly extend the torch of freedom to the unwary. “They speak great swelling words of vanity” (2 Pet. 2:18). “By good words and fair speeches (they) deceive the hearts of the simple” (Rom. 16:18). The siren summons of Satan says that you need not be bound by the chafing constraints of commandments, of “do’s and don’ts.” Rather, you can be free to express yourself, to indulge, to explore new vistas and horizons of pleasure. “Guilt” feelings are an invention of preachers and moralists who would keep you in bondage to their systems of salvation. Ignore them. Cast off the chains of restraint and enjoy the freedom of self-expression. Sex, drugs and alcohol are your bill of rights; so, declare your independence and be free!

It all sounds so good, but what do we find? The freedom to experiment with drugs leads to addiction. Lying becomes a way of life. Crime becomes an occupation to support a lifestyle. The conscience is gradually extinguished by the hydrant of alcohol. Pornography consumes the passions with burning lusts that cannot be satisfied or gratified. The one who wanted to be a “party animal” is now only an animal at a party. He is led by cravings and desires that have no fulfillment and that leave the bitter aftertaste of doubt, fear and shame. And this is freedom?

Sin promises liberty and escape, but the young lady is no longer free to control her body. She cannot deny her body; she cannot say, “no,” for that would be to revert to the “bondage” of religion. Her body is not hers. It belongs to the animals at the party. The young man cannot refuse beer with his friends, followed by a marijuana reverie. He is obligated to go along. He dare not say, “no,” to the gang and revert to being a “nerd.” No, he must get drunk. He is bound to do so. It matters not that he has an important test tomorrow. His actions are now determined for him “the call of the wild.” And this is freedom?

The freedom the world promises means that your body and mind are no longer yours. Your mouth will curse and swear. It will utter profanity. You become “hooked” on filthy language until you use it automatically, naturally. Drugs and alcohol are not the only things that are addictive. Evil thoughts of lust become instinctive, almost second nature. Soon, you will act “as natural brute beasts,” governed by your fleshly appetites. Your god will be your belly, your physical, sensual desires. With a hardened heart (it being past feeling, past persuasion and reason), you will surrender yourself to all kinds of lewdness and impurity with eagerness. You will have “eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin” because you have exercised your heart with covetous passions and practices (Eph. 4:17-19; Phil. 3:19; 2 Pet. 2:12,14).

As our topical text says, you were promised liberty, but you were made a servant of corruption. That is a terrible irony. Worse, it is a spiritual tragedy with eternal repercussions.

But, alas, this story can have a happy ending. There is true freedom and liberty in Christ (Jn. 8:32; Gal. 5:1). It is a freedom from the law (the rule, the power) of sin and death. The Lord provides “deliverance to the captives” of sin and “liberty” to them that are under sentence of death (Lk. 4:18). There is a “perfect law of liberty” to which you must subscribe (Jas. 1:25). It is the law of the Holy Spirit, the gospel, which will make you free from the law of sin and death (Rom. 1:16; 6:23; 8:2). And, yes, there is a yoke to be borne, but it is not cumbersome or wearisome “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:29,30).

“Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?” (Rom. 6:16) The selection is yours. You will either obey sin and become its slave or you will obey God and become a servant of righteousness. Carefully consider the consequences of each choice. As you weigh the alternatives, do not be deceived – read the first paragraph of this article again.

Guardian of Truth XXXV: 11, p. 325
June 6, 1991