Truth Magazine

By Mike Willis

Recognizing their responsibilities in the home, God-fearing parents seek out help and guidance to rear their children to reverence and respect God. What can we do to raise godly children in a culture so full of sin?

We can begin by recognizing that our task is no different from that of godly parents since the beginning of time. The world has always been ungodly. It has always tempted children (and their parents) to forsake the Lord.

In giving the suggestions which follow, I make no pretensions at being an expert in child-rearing. My wife Sandy and I are humbly trying to rear our two children to exalt and glorify God in their lives. We have a 20-year-old daughter (Jennifer) and a 14-year-old son (Corey). Both of them are Christians. We face the same temptations as do other parents and children, sometimes failing to be what God commands us to be. While none of us is perfect, we are conscientiously working to become the family God wants us to be. Here are some principles we have tried to follow in rearing our children.

1. Love the Children

God told older women to train the younger women to “love their children” (Tit. 2:4). In Paul’s description of the Gentile world as apostate from God, he stated one characteristic of their rebellion from God as being “without natural affection” (Rom. 1:31). Child abuse, which is becoming more common in American culture, stems from an absence of natural affection, a disrespect for God and life, and lack of self-control.

A healthy child must have a good self-esteem which is formed in the atmosphere of family love. Our children should never have to wonder whether or not they are loved. They should know that their parents love them by the conduct they see in their parents.

2. Be A Good Example

In no place is one’s influence so keenly felt as in the home. A child can easily spot inconsistency and hypocrisy. Parents may succeed in leaving a false impression of righteousness to the elders and preacher, but their children will know them for what they are.

As parents, we need to provide a good example in such areas as control of the temper and tongue, honesty, abstinence from smoking and drinking, sexual fidelity, and every other aspect of being a Christian. Our attitudes toward the local church (its elders and preacher, Bible study, gospel meetings) will be imitated by our young. Where parents look for excuses for missing worship services, the children will recognize their lack of commitment and imitate it. I have seen very few children of parents who were half-committed to the Lord stay faithful to God. Most of them chose not to make the pretenses they have witnessed in their parents.

My children have a right to expect a good example in me. Almost everything they know about family life and rearing children will be learned from what they see Sandy and me doing. My failures will likely be passed down to my grandchildren. Consequently, I need to be as good an example as I possibly can be.

3. Be a Spiritual Leader

Closely connected with being a good example is the recommendation that parents be spiritual leaders. A number of Christian parents are good examples of honesty, work ethics, financial management, and other honorable traits but do little to influence their children spiritually. My responsibilities as a parent obligate me to read the Bible to my children, to pray with and for them, and to teach them to pray. Paul instructed Timothy to “continue . . . in the things which thou has learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; and that from a child thou hast down the holy scriptures” (2 Tim. 3:14-15). My children have a right to expect me to direct them in learning the Holy Scriptures.

4. Discipline the Children

Sandy and I have tried to provide discipline for our children. We never sought a “buddy” relationship; rather, we tried to be parents who are responsible to provide the mature direction and guidance that their young minds do not have. The Scriptures direct parents to discipline their children (see Prov. 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13; 29:15,17; Heb. 12:7-10). In administering discipline, here are some qualifications we have followed:

a. Present a unifiedfront to the children. Children are experts in detecting a difference between the parents and manipulating it to their own advantage. I know that is true because of how I used to act. When I was a child, I would ask my mother if I could go somewhere. She would sometimes say, “Go ask your father.” When I asked Daddy, I would say, “Momma said she didn’t care if you don’t care.”

She had not said that; I was trying to manipulate my parents to get my way. I suspect my children do the same to Sandy and me.

Mothers and fathers in families affected by divorce and remarriage or remarriage following a death are especially vulnerable in the area of presenting a unified front in discipline. The children who perceive this difference between the mother and the daddy will manipulate it to their own advantage. A natural parent may interfere when his mate corrects his children (she is too harsh, she lets her own children get away with murder). The children see the interference and pit one parent against the other.

In trying to keep a unified front, Sandy and I try not to criticize the discipline of the other in front of the children. If one of us does something that the other does not like, we discuss it later, but never in front of the children.

b. Keep your word. When we make a rule for our children with a specified punishment for its violation, we keep our word. This creates a respect for our word. When parents make rules but do not follow up with punishment when the rule is violated, they teach their children to pay no attention to the rule.

Very early a child needs to learn the meaning of “no.When a parent allows his children to ignore his “no,” he lays a foundation for disrespecting his word. A young child soon can learn what “no” means. A tender slap on the hand and a stern “no” can train even a oneyear-old child to obey what his parents say.

c. Be consistent in your discipline. We have tried consistently to apply the rules. Sometimes a parent witnesses his child violate a rule ten times and does nothing. On a given morning when he awakes feeling “under the weather,” he sees the same violation and punishes severely. This parent has taught his children to watch to see what mood his parents are in before violating the rule.

d. Punish while the deed is fresh in the child’s mind. Especially with younger children, the punishment needs to be administered when they are caught. Although there are times when we have counselled together about a punishment before administering it, Sandy has not made a practice of saying, “When your Daddy comes home, he is going to spank you for doing that.” Young children need to be punished when they are caught violating the rules, before they forget what they have done.

e. Make the punishment proportional to the offence. Punishment should not be meted out on the basis of the mood of the parent or the venting his anger. Rather, it should be given on the basis of what is necessary to correct the wrong behavior occurring in the child. Surely parents can understand that a different punishment should be given to one who forgets to pick up his clothes and one who is caught telling a lie.

God’s Means of Shaping Character

The book of Hebrews uses parental discipline to teach us about divine discipline. We can learn lessons about parental discipline from the passage. The writer said,

But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live. For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our own profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby (12:8-11).

From this text, observe these facts about discipline: (a) Correction causes children to respect the parents; (b) Correction can only be given “for a few days”; (c) Parental correction is “after their own pleasure” (every home has to have its own rules; every parent must use his own judgment in directing the affairs of the home); (d) Correction is not joyous, but grievous (neither the parent nor the child should expect it to be joyous); (e) Correction yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness.

The family which desires the “peaceable fruit of righteousness” cannot avoid the steps of correction which are necessary to produce it. We create monsters of our children when we allow them to control the family by their temper tantrums.

Discipline While They Are Young

The wise man wrote, “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying” (Prov. 19:18). The proverb recognizes that disciplining can come too late to do any good. The poet expressed the need for shaping our children’s character while they are young in these words.

I took a piece of plastic clay

And gently fashioned it one day;

And as my fingers pressed it still,

It moved and yielded to my will.

I came again when days were past;

The bit of clay was hard at last.

The form I gave it still it bore,

But I could change that form no more.

I took a piece of living clay

And gently formed it day by day,

And molded with my power and art

A young man’s soft and yielding heart.

I came again when days were gone;

It was a man I looked upon.

He still that early impress wore,

And I could change it never more.

Do not wait until your children are teenagers to begin training them to obey you and God. If you do, you will have waited too late.

Conclusion

Even good parents sometimes have children who turn their backs on God. Because children have free will, they can choose to obey or disobey God, the same as parents can. However, knowing that our poor example and neglect of their spiritual training might have contributed to their rebellion will make their apostasy haunt us with feelings of guilt.

As parents, let each of us resolve to provide the best spiritual environment we possibily can in order to rear godly children. As a general rule, the adage of old will be true, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).

Guardian of Truth XXXV: 7, pp. 194, 214-215
April 4, 1991

By Donald Townsley

Dangers have always faced the church and always will as long as the world stands. Every generation of the church has had to confront dangers. In Acts 20:29-30 Paul warned the Ephesian elders of dangers from without and from within the church. Paul warned Timothy of the dangers of apostasy and told him to “put the brethren in remembrance of these things” (1 Tim. 4:1-6).

Churches of Christ in this decade face dangers which many don’t seem to see. I don’t claim to be aware of all the dangers, but I believe after forty years of preaching I can see some of them. We want to examine some of these dangers with a twofold purpose: (1) to call our attention to the dangers we face; and (2) to give a scriptural way to meet them.

A Decreasing Emphasis on “Thus Saith the Lord” In Preaching

In preaching today there is a decreasing emphasis on “thus saith the Lord.” From many we hear more human reasoning and logic than the word of God! When preaching is based upon human reasoning and logic the general thinking of members of the church is guided by the opinions of men who preach and not by the word of God. Paul warns us “not to think of men above that which is written” (1 Cor. 4:6).

When a preacher preaches on any subject he is to use the word of God as his authority for being “for” or “against” something. Christ is the one who has all authority and is the head of the church (Matt. 28:18; Eph. 1:22-23). Preachers need to quote the apostles of Christ, not distinguished men of the past (or present) to establish the truth. The church is strong when preachers use the Bible as their authority for what they preach: the church becomes weak when preachers stop preaching the word of God (2 Tim. 4:2-5).

Yes brethren, there is a decreasing emphasis on “thus saith the Lord” in many pulpits of churches of Christ today! Where this is happening the church is becoming weaker in the faith and more denominational in attitude. Let us get back to book, chapter and verse preaching before we are swept into another apostasy!

The “Pastor System”

Churches of Christ went through an organizational apostasy thirty-five years ago over institutionalism and the sponsoring church. What we all need to realize is that there are other organizational apostasies besides institutionalism.

One organizational apostasy is the “pastor system.” This is found in denominationalism. A denominational church calls the local preacher the “pastor” and gives him the responsibility of “shepherding the flock.” He is hired to take over the church and do “pastoral work.”

In the New Testament the preacher is not the pastor: the pastors are the elders (Eph. 4:11; Acts 20:28; 1 Pet. 5:1-3; 1 Tim. 5:17; Heb. 13:17). The work of the elders is to “oversee” and “rule” (Acts 20:28; 1 Pet. 5:2; 1 Tim. 5:17; Heb. 13:17). They are to “take heed” to themselves, “shepherd” the flock (Acts 20:28; 1 Pet. 5:2), and to “watch” for the souls who are under their oversight (Heb. 13:17).

The preacher’s work is to “preach the word” (2 Tim. 4:2); he is to charge men to teach “no other doctrine” (1 Tim. 1:3); he is to put the brethren in remembrance of departures from the faith (1 Tim. 4:6); he is to study to prepare to preach and teach the gospel (2 Tim. 2:15) and to baptize penitent sinners into Christ (Acts 8:37-38). The New Testament nowhere authorizes the preacher to take the responsibility of overseeing the congregation where he preaches.

There is a dangerous trend in many churches that leads toward the system of “pastor oversight.” Many members of the church of Christ are converts from denominationalism – from churches that use the “pastor system,” and this false concept of the preacher is deeply entrenched in their minds. This concept causes people to exalt and set the preacher apart from other members. The New Testament teaches no such concept (Matt. 23:8-12).

There is also the tendency for the preacher to do the work of elders. In many place no real effort has been put forth to develop men into elders (which has been the great weakness of conservative churches since division over institutionalism), and where there are no elders there is the great danger of “pastor oversight.” Many times this happens not because the preacher really wants it that way, but because members fail in their responsibilities (some having the “pastor” concept to begin with) and the preacher is put in the position of making decisions that should be made by the brethren. When Ws is the case the organization of the church has been perverted. A preacher breaks down the God-given organization when he allows himself to be put in a position of functioning where the elders should act. The local church is weakened and there can be no real spiritual development where this kind of arrangement has taken place. When preachers make decisions which should be made by elders (or the men of the congregation where there are no elders) they bring about a congregational organization which is just as sinful as the institutional perversion of the organization of the church.

There is also the “pastor system” of congregational growth. Many in the church have the idea that the church is to be built around the preacher and his personality – he is to be the “main leader.” Churches that are built around preachers are very weak spiritually – they fail when the preacher goes! Many times people are converted to the preacher instead of to Jesus Christ! Apostolic churches were not built around preachers (1 Cor. 3:5-6; 4:6). These churches grew because every member was at work teaching the word and laying Christ as the foundation (Acts 8:4; 2 Tim. 4:2; 2:2; 1 Cor. 3: 11).

Yes brethren, churches of Christ face the danger of “pastor (preacher) oversight.” Let us be busy developing elders in every church as the Lord intended (Acts 14:23), and let those of us who preach stay in our God-given place of preaching the word of God (2 Tim. 4:2), not trying to oversee churches!

Guardian of Truth XXXV: 7, pp. 198-199
April 4, 1991

By Larry Ray Hafley

In every age and on every stage of human history, there are those who contend that the Bible does not contain a pattern for believers. We are “free,” they aver, to worship and serve the Lord without worrying about a pattern. They rail against legalism and plead for “the spirit” rather than “the letter” of the law. They argue that “the church of Christ” has exchanged one law (O.T.) for another (N.T.). They say that demands that we follow New Testament examples (such as the weekly Lord’s supper – Acts 20:7) are but another “yoke of bondage” that excludes many believers from fellowship.

Without being exhaustive, consider these responses.

First, what says there is no pattern? Does the Bible teach that there is no pattern to follow? (A) If so, does the Bible’s teaching that there is no pattern constitute a pattern for us to accept? (B) If there is no pattern, am I “free” to reject the teaching (the pattern) that says there is no pattern? (C) Or, am I bound, legally, to believe there is no pattern?

Second, if there are no patterns for worship and service, are there any perversions? (A) Can, for example, the Lord’s supper be corrupted and made void? Paul said it could be (1 Cor. 11:23f). (1) Were the Corinthians bound to obey Paul’s instructions? (2) Were the Corinthians free to ignore Paul’s corrections (1 Cor. 14:37)? (3) Would the Lord accept the Corinthians’ worship and service if they continued as they were? If so, who says so? (B) Can organizations or ecclesiastical governments be a corruption of Jesus’ authority and headship? (1) If so, there is some kind of organizational or governmental pattern beyond which one cannot go. (2) If not, could a human leader of believers overturn the headship of Christ and proclaim himself head over all things to the church (cf. 2 Thess. 2:1-12)? (3) Does Paul’s remonstrance against “the son of perdition; who opposeth and exalteth himself above all that is called God, or that is worshiped; so that he as God sitteth in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God” constitute a pattern of teaching that we must obey? (4) Or are we free to appoint such a ruler?

Third, is there a pattern of moral behavior? (A) Does the Bible teach or give limits to moral behavior? Is there immoral behavior? (1) If so, cite an example from the Bible. (2) If not, how does a man differ from a bull, a dog, or a rooster? (B) May I kill a man who says there is no pattern of moral behavior? Would I be immoral if I did?

Fourth, is Jesus a pattern for salvation? Frequently, those who claim to be disciples of Christ argue for “no-patternism.” (A) So, does the Bible present Jesus’ life and death as a pattern of salvation, or are we free to follow Buddha rather than Christ? If Jesus is Lord in any sense, must we do what he says (Lk. 6:46; Matt. 7:21; 28:18-20). (B) If Christ’s blood is the basis and a pattern for salvation, how do we determine that it is? (C) If Christ is the ground of salvation and is a pattern of deliverance, by what process do we learn that there is no pattern for the conditions of salvation?

Fifth, God speaks to us “by his Son” (Heb. 1:1,2; Lk. 16:10; Acts 3:22,23). (A) It is dangerous to refuse to hear Christ (Heb. 2:1-3; 12:25; 1 Jn. 2:24; 4:6; 2 Jn. 9). (B) We are not to hear or believe everyone (1 Jn. 4: 1; Rev. 2:2; Tit. 1:9-13; 2 Cor. 11:3). (1) We are to avoid human traditions that make void the commandments of the Lord (Matt. 15:1-9; 2 Tim. 2:16-18). (2) We are to hold fast to “the form” (mold, pattern) of sound words and teach them to others (2 Tim. 1:13; 2:2; 3:15-4:4). (C) Is there a pattern of acceptable teaching? If not, what do the passages cited above teach (cf. Rom. 16:17; 1 Tim. 1:3; 4:16)? (D) If the passages do not indicate a pattern, does whatever they do teach comprise a pattern?

Finally, if a “no pattern” advocate answers these queries and still rejects a pattern of worship and service, will his answers be a model, a pattern, for us to follow in order to escape the doctrine of patterns?

Guardian of Truth XXXV: 7, p. 196
April 4, 1991

By J. Wiley Adams

There is a well-known hymn called Send the Light. It was one of my wife’s favorites as well as mine. The song urges the sending forth of the gospel light into all the world as long as time shall last. There is a sense of urgency in the song as well as a sense of joy as the good news of salvation is carried to all men everywhere. The song always stirs me to greater effort. It was sung at Wilma’s funeral and it aroused in me a firm resolve to double my efforts to preach the gospel to the lost of every nation. The gospel is indeed the power of God unto salvation (Rom. 1:16).

There are many who have the ability to preach the gospel but they can’t seem to get the motivation to do it. They know it and are well able to declare it but, in Air Force terms, they are unable to get it off the runway. Some of these are good at telling others how to do it and are critical of the efforts of some who are trying to do their best at preaching. We say to them, “Physician, heal thyself.” Or, in the words of Paul, “Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself?” (Rom. 2:21a)

Some of the harshest criticism I have ever received since we began preaching the gospel has come from some who have never tried to preach a sermon in their life. Others are always getting ready to commence to start to begin preaching but that is all they seem to be able to do. They are always getting ready to start.

It is high time that all who possess the ability to preach the gospel begin to do so. Time is running out. For some it has already run out. There is no more important work in this world than the preaching of the gospel of Christ.

Some are hindered by companions who do not love the Lord sufficiently to assist their husbands. Over my bed there is a plaque which is done in beautiful cross-stitch. My wife left her family and obeyed the gospel of Christ. The message on the plaque is taken from Ruth 1: 16,17. It says, “Whither thou goest I will go, and where thou lodgest I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.” It was not just an idle statement to her; she practiced it from the time she obeyed the gospel. Would to God there were more like her!

Some hindrances to gospel preaching come from Christians themselves as they seek to “protect their children.” It is not uncommon to hear parents say they do not want their sons to preach or to have their daughters marry a preacher. They do not want their children to move around the country or get very far away from home. Yet, many in this transient society are constantly being transferred to foreign countries as well as in the States. People in the military service of their country have little or no say as to where their tour of duty will be. But when it comes to preaching the gospel and moving around from time to time, that seems to be different. Brother Homer Hailey was heard to remark to one of his students one time who raised the question, “But what if one should die in a foreign country while preaching?” To which he replied, “It is no farther to Heaven from a foreign land than it is from the United States.” Ouch!

I even heard a prea6er say one time that he had stopped encouraging young men to go into full-time preaching because it was such a hard life. With friends like that in the kingdom who needs enemies?

It boils down to dedication and conviction that we ought to be carrying out the Great Commission. We need to memorize Matthew 6:33 which urges, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” As time moves on, those of us who preach have become older men and have moved up to the front echelon in the church. But when we are gone who will pick up the torch? If present trends continue there will be few who are willing to assume this tremendous responsibility. It is my purpose in writing this article to “provoke” you or stir up some evangelistic zeal that was prevalent in days gone by but now seems to be in short supply. Let me leave this thought with you who read this who are Christians. “Preach the word” (2 Tim. 4:2). “Send the light, the blessed gospel light.”

Guardian of Truth XXXV: 7, p. 197
April 4, 1991