Peach Ice Cream

By Robert F. Turner

Over-eating becomes an occupational hazard for preachers, especially for those in meeting work, so when our hostess asked if she might serve a late-night snack, I replied with emphasis, “I couldn’t eat a thing!”

“We have some rolls,” she coaxed. “Not a thing  not a thing,” I said with a firmness of which I was proud.

“What about a piece of pie? Cheese and crackers? A cup of coffee?”

And I became more obstinate, “Please, I do not want anything to eat!”

And then she said, “We have a big freezer of homemade peach ice cream!”

Well, everybody knows that homemade peach ice cream is not a thing  it is a spirit. He had some homemade peach ice cream.

Later, painfully reflecting upon my vices (resolutions come easiest following indulgence  a drunkard makes his finest resolutions while his head throbs and the “bite” lingers), I tried to analyze the situation. Where did I go wrong? How can I strengthen my defenses?

The hostess (very helpful now that the damage is done) says this points up the basic difference in the viewpoint of men and women: “A woman would just shrug her shoulder and say, `I have changed my mind; I’ll take some ice cream.’ But no! A man must rationalize. A man must justify his former position. All that stuff about homemade peach ice cream being not a thing but a spirit. Really!”

You will notice that with either sex she manages to get her way. They eat. the homemade peach ice cream.

On the other hand, maybe this (wouldn’t you know it) skinny little hostess has a point. The human race is filled with self-justifying individuals determined to satisfy their appetites for food, drink, pride, and their own way in the church, who would “bust a hame” before they would admit they were wrong or had changed.

There is no easy way to reduce or to solve other life problems. If they were easy to conquer they wouldn’t be problems. The church grows fat with worldliness because brethren think they can be Christian soldiers without fighting the good fight. Sunday resolutions are nullified by weekday snacks.

(Reprinted by permission from Robert F. Turner, Stuff About Things, pp. 79-80.)


Guardian of Truth XL: No. 16, p. 1
August 15, 1996