By Irven Lee
Your plans may be very private property which you do not wish to make public. You have the right of privacy, and you have the right to change your plans as you mature, but you do need to have some purpose in life. Aimlessness is foolishness. Life is more than a bundle of impulses. This message is addressed to the young people who are at an age when they are very capable of building air castles in their dreams. Please plan for, dream of, and work toward a noble future.
Young man, do you plan to marry? Do you have in mind the kind of home you want? Home is where people live, and a happy marriage can be precious beyond any value that can be measured. An unhappy marriage destroys the possibility of a happy home. If you have the proper wisdom you will consider what type person you will need to help you build a happy family, and you will give much thought to the type of person you need to be in order to find life worth living. If no serious thought is put into understanding the law of cause and effect you will likely be captured by some loud chalk doll who lacks character and common sense. Do you plan to look for and be worthy of a good wife or will you just allow lust and animal instinct to get you involved with one who is led by lust and animal instinct?
The man who obtains a good wife obtains favor of the Lord (Prov. 18:22). The price of a good wife is far above rubies for she will bless him for a lifetime (Prov. 31:10-31). This worthy woman is not the loud, gaudy, lust provoking type. She is quiet, chaste, and willing to work. She appeals to that part of man which is in the image of God. The better life is for those who buffet their own bodies and bring them into subjection. People like this have convictions, purposes, and goals. They are not just bundles of accidents and impulses.
Those who have often been at worship where the Bible has been skillfully taught are more likely to find the good life, since the word of God is for our good always (Deut. 6:24). Unfortunately, some who have pleasant association with Christians and have heard many gospel sermons fail miserably in marriage. Were they listening when they were in worship services? Had they been hearing and seeing too much of the ungodly music and drama offered on television? Had they been careful enough of their associates during the week? Had they kept their thoughts and actions pure when they were going about their daily living?
There are sons and daughters of godly people who marry and then soon divorce. So many Americans do not “flee fornication” because there is a common attitude that condones this home-destroying and soul-destroying sin. Please read and re-read 1 Corinthians 6:9-20. Some faithful Christians appear to be afraid to marry since they have seen so many go through the heart-breaking experience of learning that they are married to unfaithful companions. Their concern is understandable, but there are still pure and holy young people who can be found by those who seek diligently with patience, conviction, and determination. Choose carefully and be worthy yourself.
Young man, do you plan to provide properly for your family? Such a plan must include a willingness to work and a skill in some field of labor. Beyond this, it will require restraint and self-control because you will not be able to buy everything that ‘s in the market place. A man cannot provide food, shelter, clothing, and other necessities if he spends his earnings for the useless and unnecessary things. There are those who can earn but cannot provide for their families because they spend their money for things that are not needed by those who look to them for support. For what will you spend your money? Will impulse and selfishness decide what you buy? A man who cannot or will not control his spending habits should not marry.
Young man, will you break your young wife’s heart by scattering things all over the house after she has worked so hard to have everything neat and in order? This is a fair question. She should keep the house with love, but how can she do this without the cooperation of her family? There are men who want good meals, but they do not provide money for the good. They would like a neat house, but they make it next to impossible for any one to keep it that way.
Have you learned to express your gratitude or do you only mention your complaints? Home is to be a happy place day after day for many decades. This cannot be expected if there is a lack of such important things as respect, unselfishness, and gratitude. Cooperation is part of the frame work of a good family. Will your bride love you until the wedding day and for only a little while after that? What about your friends at this time? Do you make and keep friends, or do they soon tire of you? If you get on your friends’ nerves it may be the same for your wife. Learn now to have that calm, unselfish, and orderly personality that people who are with you constantly admire. This is important to a happy marriage.
One of the most important things you can give to your wife and children is some of your time. People who use their money selfishly will likely use their time selfishly also. Demanding sons and daughters will likely be demanding marriage companions. If you lack understanding of the sacrifices a loving parent has made for you, it might be better for you not to marry because understanding, sharing, and gratitude are far more important than beauty, money foolishly spent, and ability that is not properly used.
Guardian of Truth XXIX: 24, p. 742
December 19, 1985