Why Fathers Are So Important to Daughters

By Ron Roberts

I was very grateful when God gave us a daughter about eleven years ago. I took great care in selecting a virtuous woman to marry two years earlier. When we received our baby girl, I felt her mother would teach her to be just like her. I could sit back and watch the prize which is far above rubies develop (Prov. 31:10). Although my wife appreciated the compliment, she reminded me that child rearing was not a spectator sport for either parent.

The Bible doesn’t speak a great deal about the specific relationship between fathers and daughters.

We know Jairus (Mark 5:21ff), Philip (Acts 21:9), and Jephthah (Judges 11) all had girls, but the father I would like to consider is daughters to be the 2 Peter 2:5-9 and Luke 17:26-29 couple Noah and Lot together. Both men lived in an environment of great wickedness. Both men remained pure in spite of their surroundings. Both men were rescued by God when their neighbors were destroyed.

There were also some serious direction to find their differences between the two men. Noah had sons while Lot had daughters. Noah had to live in a wicked world, while Lot chose to live in a wicked city (Gen. 13:7-13). The most significant difference for our study though is that Noah saved his family while Lot lost his.

“And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where … ” (Gen. 13:10). Lot made his selection based on profit. Many men make their choices based on money. They will accept a transfer, a promotion, or overtime without considering how it will impact their family. Fathers are to provide for their families (1 Tim. 5:8), but these provisions go much deeper than the wallet. I must give my girls spiritual instruction, a refuge from the wicked world, and an opportunity to meet Christian boys from whom to choose their husbands.

In time God decided to destroy Sodom and its neighbors. Angels were sent to deliver Lot’s family, but before they retired for the evening the men of the city came to Lot’s door demanding the visitors for sex (Gen. 19:4-8). Lot offered these men his two virgin daughters to satisfy their lusts. (I hope at this point Lot realized what a poor choice he had made for his family.) The angels struck the Sodomites with blindness to rescue Lot and his daughters.

Before the city was destroyed Lot tried to persuade his sons-in-law to leave with him (Gen. 19:14). Some have suggested that Lot had two daughters. They believe that these virgins who were offered to the mob were also betrothed to the men who are called sons-in-law. Others believe Lot had at least four daughters. Two or more had already married men of the city. If this was the case then the husbands had authority over their wives. Lot could not rescue his daughters without convincing their husbands to depart. The men weren’t persuaded, and Lot had to leave his children to die.

Our culture allows children to pick their own mates, but we can do a great deal to influence their decision. From the time our girls were old enough to know what marriage was their mother and I have spoken to them about finding a husband who loves God like they do. We want them to marry a true Christian and not just a church member.

The story ends with Lot and his daughters living in the mountains. His wife was dead. The daughters feared their father would have no heirs, and so they got him drunk and committed incest with him. They were out of Sodom, but Sodom was not out of them. Lot escaped the city, but his family died or was contaminated by its evil.

As fathers we often think we should protect our daughters from boys, but we must also learn to protect boys from our daughters. The immoral woman found in Proverbs 5-7 was someone’s daughter. Some father’s little girl grew up to be a seductress.

The wickedness which led to the flood began when the sons of God (spiritually minded men) looked upon the daughters of men (immoral women). The women were valued for their fleshly beauty only. Their influence led to the contamination of all except for Noah’s family. We don’t want our daughters to be the daughters of men, but children of God. We brought them into this world. Let’s give them the love and direction to find their way into God’s family.

Guardian of Truth XLI: 14 p. 1
July 17, 1997